Search results for "pope"

New York Times fingers Pope

Yes, I've always wanted to use a headline like this, and today seemed like the perfect time to do it. Plus it helps that it's completely true; the New York Times has supposedly come up with definitive evidence that Ratzinger was not only aware of Reverend Peter Hullerman (formerly known only as "H") had molested children and, rather than notify authorities, simply transferred him to another parish despite a ...

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Pope issues pointless apology for child abuse, blames secularism

Imagine this hypothetical situation: you're implicated in a child molestation scandal in your powerful and influential organization, and the whole world eagerly anticipates your response to these allegations. Would your strategy be to issue an ambiguous "apology" for the suffering of the victims followed by laying blame a completely esoteric scapegoat? The only way you could ever get away with such weaksauc ...

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Pope Benedict XVI is a scumbag

It should come as no surprise that any large and powerful organization always "looks out for their own". The Catholic Church is no different; the whole controversy regarding child abuse is based around the fact that rather than punish their own members who were guilty of destroying the lives of innocent children, they instead kept everything quiet, transferring these offenders to different parishes where th ...

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The Pope is a lying sack of shit

The Vatican has been considering canonizing Pope Piux XII, and this has created tensions within the Jewish community. You see, back in 1933, the Vatican signed an agreement (called the Reichskonkordat) that officially recognized the Nazi party, effectively legitimizing its anti-Semitic stance. It was the only religious institution to do so, and this fact still haunts the Catholic Church. It's seen by many a ...

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Does the Pope understand forgiveness?

Ok, here's a not so hypothetical situation; pretend that you're feeling a little bit crazy (possibly due to mental illness), and during Mass at the Vatican you push the Pope down. The Pope then has a meeting with you, tells you all is forgiven, and then proceeds to take you to court. Does that sound like forgiveness to you? Well, that's exactly what happened to Susanna Maiolo, who suffers from a mental illn ...

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Pope wasting his time visiting Czech Republic

Pope Benedict XVI is on a mission; he's decided to tour Europe to fight what he's dubbed "atheist ideology" and "hedonistic consumerism" (this from the same man who quite literally eats off gold plate in a gigantic palace). His first stop is the European capital of unbelief: the Czech Republic. According to the latest polls, only about 19% of the population claims to believe in God, and those figures keep d ...

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Pope blames atheists for environmental problems

If I had to write an article every time the pontiff opens his mouth and says something stupid, I would honestly never get any rest. Aside from the fact this man considers himself the holy avatar between humanity and God, the institution maintains all popes are immune from error. Catholic dogma states that because they are under the influence of the Holy Spirit, all Popes are immune from even the possibility ...

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Pope not welcome in Ireland

I never thought I'd see the day where the Pope isn't welcome in Ireland. But hey, a 2,900 page report detailing the sexual, physical and emotional abuse of children by the Catholic Church is enough to make even the strongest believer feel overwhelmed. A new survey reports that until the current Pope does more to compensate the victims, the majority of Ireland doesn't want him visiting. I got news for you: e ...

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Pope sheds crocodile tears for victims of abuse

The Vatican issued this statement following the release of the Ryan report which chronicled years of abuse at the hands of priests and nuns in Catholic run reform schools, stating that Pope Benedict XVI was visibly upset and distraught. They also claim the Pope has been busy pressuring churches to be more open about the abuse. For anyone familiar with history, however, his crocodile tears are not enough to ...

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Vatican denies Pope was a Hitler Youth

Just a day after delivering a speech at Israel's Holocaust Memorial (known as Yad Vashem) to a rather unimpressed crowd, the Vatican made a statement denying the Pope's enrollment in the Hitler Youth, despite the fact Ratzinger had already admitted he had been a member of the Flakhelfer, the anti-aircraft auxiliary corps of the Hitler Youth. The logic behind this obviously false statement is damage control ...

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