Search results for "pope"

New Pope elected..and surprise, he’s also a bigot

After the first day of indecision, an old, antiquated bunch of clowns dressed in silly costumes finally elected their new infallible leader: Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina. His new name, Francis the First, is in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, the guy who renounced wealth in order to feel more connected to the poor. Now you might think it's a little ironic that a man sitting on 50 billion dol ...

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This pretty much sums up this Pope nonsense

Here's a video of Benedict XVI's appointment, except the audio has been replaced with a bunch of hilarious nonsense; something all of these clowns in ridiculous outfits should be well versed in. Just look at all the ridiculous wealth on display here. Kind makes you want to vomit in your mouth a little, doesn't it? ...

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Dutch Catholics desperate to jump ship after Pope’s bigoted speech

The world is changing, but this isn't a fact that pleases the Catholic Church too much. Concerned their ability to dictate the lives of their fellow human beings is waning, the Pope recently addressed his fellow Catholics to wish them a joyous Christmas, and attempted to convince the world that two dudes trying to marry one another was a threat to world peace, and goes against nature (kind of like celibacy, ...

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Pope’s butler gets 18 months in jail for leaked memos

So, what do you get for exposing the corruption of an organization like the Vatican? Well, how about an 18 month prison term handed down by the very institution you were trying to expose? Oh, and you can add the cost of the trial to the list of his expenses: The pope's former butler, Paolo Gabriele, was convicted Saturday of aggravated theft for leaking confidential papal documents and sentenced to 18 month ...

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Pope’s butler faces jail time for leaked memos

OK, so remember how the US finally jailed their first priest for covering up sexual abuse? We all felt as though this was a positive sign of things to come, didn't we? Well, as great as that felt, it seems as though justice is slow in coming to the Vatican. Jailing the Pope's butler for leaking damning memos demonstrating the extent of corruption is a bigger priority for these fuckers. Pope Benedict XVI's b ...

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Pope denounces Maryland legalizing gay marriage

Pope Benedict XVI, a celibate man who controls a vast fortune and an army of delusional homophobes, has criticized Americans for granting all their citizens the same rights in the state of Maryland. "He added that the traditional family and marriage had to be "defended from every possible misrepresentation of their true nature" because, he said, whatever injured families injured society. So many ruined live ...

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Pope attempts to recruit German bigots

Over the weekend, the Pope arrived in Germany on a tour designed to try and recruit Protestants and other estranged Christians who have grown tired of their religion's increasing acceptance of homosexual marriage. Knowing, too, the value of family and marriage, we as Christians attach great importance to defending the integrity and the uniqueness of marriage between one man and one woman from any kind of mi ...

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German legislators plan to boycott Pope’s speech

When abuse allegations started popping up against the Catholic Church, Germany was one of those countries that, like Ireland, had suffered mightily at the hands of the clergy. When they opened up a hotline for victims of sexual abuse, they received 2700 calls after only 3 days. The Vatican, aware that it's about as popular as mouth herpes, is setting off to Germany in a vain attempt to discuss how Protestan ...

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Pope continues to deny reality

I know, it's not much of a headline. I mean, how surprising is it when a supposedly infallible guy in the ceremonial dress claims that his magical sky-man created humans, rather than our existence being the product of natural forces: Benedict emphasized the Biblical account of creation in his Easter Vigil homily Saturday, saying it was wrong to think at some point "in some tiny corner of the cosmos there ev ...

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Aid monies used to pay for Pope’s UK visit

If you're unaware of this, I apologize in advance for increasing the amount of catecholamines (that's a chemical neurotransmitter secreted by your amygdala) circulating in your brain. Remember a few months back, when the Pope decided to come to Britain and the tap was picked up by taxpayers? Well, it turns out a big chunk of the costs actually came from the Department for International Development (about 2 ...

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