I know what you're thinking: "Jacob, how do I stop aliens from kidnapping me and constantly raping my poor anus with their probes?". Well, after searching long and hard (and by that I mean someone sent me a link), I think I've found the solution for you: build your own anti-spaceman helmet. If you visit StopAlienAbductions.com right now, you'll get a number of important tutorials on how to build a crappy lo ...

When your main weapon in the war of ideas is fairy-tale nonsense, I can see how some religionists might feel a little intimidated with reality. Unlike those 'heady' days in the past when any old idea passed muster so long as a man of the cloth gave it a thumbs up (like the 17th century edict that declared the beaver a fish), our modern understanding of the natural world has only served to further marginaliz ...

Is your child starting to doubt the mythology you've worked so hard to ingrain? Are they behaving in a way that doesn't conform with your limited world view? Why not kidnap them and ship them over to the Dominican Republic where they'll be forced to do exercise and menial labor to help set them "straight" (often quite literally). How is any of this legal? How are these people not in jail for kidnapping and ...

If child rape wasn't enough bad karma for you, try this one for size: Catholic run hospitals in Spain took part in a massive baby kidnapping campaign that lasted over 4 decades. When a fan of the show sent me the link I was too dumbstruck to believe it at first. I mean, how much evil shit can one organization do, and when will I stop being so naive? It turns out that during the regime of Francisco Franco, t ...

The Elizabeth Smart kidnapping trial is finally over, and because Brian David Mitchel (or Immanuel as he liked to call himself) was found guilty, the question of his mental state, and the mental state of religious people, is being brought to light. It seems, however, rather than an honest look at the delusion of belief, we're treated to a rigmarole of "experts" who seem to be too busy defending religious be ...

Remember a few months ago, when people still cared about the plight of Haiti (you know, before the world lost interest and turned their attention to something else), and a group of missionaries were facing charges of child kidnapping? Well, it looks like despite breaking the law, they've been sentenced to time served (which amounts to roughly 3 months and 8 days), and they've been released. Despite strong e ...

Do you have annoying friends who try to argue there's no harm in superstitious beliefs? If they have kids, you may want to send them to this article on BBCNews detailing how human sacrifices, particularly of young children, are on the increase. As prosperity increases in Uganda, witch doctors are making a killing (pun intended) from gullible idiots who hope to increase their own fortune with some black magi ...

How long does it take to brainwash a human being into becoming a suicide bomber? About a month, apparently. If you want to know how messed up the Taliban is, you need to head over to the Independent and learn more about how they kidnap young boys at gunpoint and indoctrinate the shit out of them in their training camps. The boys are taught your predictable "Pakistan is a tool of Western Oppression", and sho ...

Imagine your family is being held hostage. They are hidden in a secret location inside a chamber slowly filling with water, and you have somehow managed to capture one of the men responsible for their disappearance. You do know time is of the essence, and you have very few options. In this scenario, would you resort to torture to get your information? If you did, would you feel morally justified in your act ...

I'm not one to normally write about economic issues. Although I do hold very specific and, as some would say, rather radical economic views, I have noticed a trend in economic thought which mimics the fundamentalism found in religion. I am referring to The Church of the Free Market. I've recently been studying the economic trends of the past 40 years, and found it to be quite enlightening. It gave me a glim ...