Times are desperate for Christian in the Neatherlands. One in every 6 clergymen is either an atheists or an agnostics, so in an effort not to lose his job, the Rev. Klaas Hendrikse has invented a special form of Christianity that:

a. Doesn’t believe Jesus existed historically [the Gnostics beat him to it though]
b. Doesn’t believe in the afterlife [ditto the Jews]
c. Doesn’t believe a God exists at all [that one's new]

It’s kind of like serving Kool-Aid without any of the flavoring, and then claiming that while the liquid you’re drinking certainly isn’t Kool-Aid, there are a lot of lessons to be learned from our property destroying friend, Oh Yeah! Of course, the difference here is that the Kool-Aid Man (who now wears pants, btw) only condones slavery to flavor, not human beings. He is also, judging by his new digs (purple shoes, Hawaiian shirt) clearly OK with man-on-man love.

Obviously, there are a number of annoying “traditionalists” trying to ruin his good time by claiming that everything that makes Christianity what it is gets thrown out the window in his “non-version”. I’m inclined to agree with them. We’ve all heard the trope that “Jesus was a good moral teacher”, but aside from telling folks a few nice things others had figured out a long fucking time ago, the rest of his teachings are either insane or terrifying. Consider the threat of hell for disbelieving his nutty claim. How would you react to any moral tutor who placed such restrictions on doubt?

Our morality has evolved since the Bronze Age, and yet Christianity continues to try and argue that “they had it right all along”. For that to be true, you would need to erase roughly 20 centuries of murder, abuse and genocide committed in the name of some various offshoot of the doctrine (there are over 30,000 of them). Even if you did that, you’d notice a suspicious lack of evidence that unbelievers are morally depraved individuals. In fact, on average it seems as though atheists actually commit fewer crimes than Christians. So what the fuck is the point in carrying all the loaded garbage of the religion if you think its claims are bogus anyways? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that guys like Klaas have spent their entire lives preaching nonsense, and have no marketable skills in the real world. They can either quit and get a real fucking job, or keep pretending that the life of a dead Palestinian Jew 2000 years ago was an event of such importance that people should give their hard-earned money to a bunch of old dudes in dresses that talk to an imaginary being.

Seriously, in that position I’d probably choose the latter. Does that make me a scumbag?

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When innocent people are killed and the fog of war has yet to be lifted, it’s not uncommon for the press to assume that any terrorist actions must be the work of Islamic fundamentalists. As far as they are concerned, only the Muslim faith can indiscriminately kill innocent civilians. How easily they forget men like Timothy McVeigh or Scott Roeder; men motivated by their religion (in their cases, Christianity) to commit calculated murder. The Oklahoma City bombing was, until 9/11, the most devastating domestic attack on civilians, perpetuted by a home grown Christian fundy angry at the government for the slaughter of 76 people in Waco Texas (he was not entirely unjustified for his anger. The Branch Davidians were massacred by the FBI). McVeigh saw the government as his enemy, and by extention, all those who had any connection with it were deemed enemies.

A similar angry brewed inside Anders Breivik, who viewed the left leaning political Labour Party as the enemy of European (ie. white) hegemony. Multiculturalism -and in particular the Islamization of his country- were the enemy, and so he conjured a plan to attack a youth retreat organized by the party. He believed such an attack would act as a rallying cry for his fellow citizens to take violent action against their darker skinned citizens. In total, he (and perhaps an accomplice) killed 68 people and wounded 90 more.

Breivik counts Geert Wilders as one of his, a man recently acquitted of enticing violence against Islam (makes you wonder if perhaps there wasn’t something to the accusation. In any case, Norway is now deeply scared by these events. It’s a reminder that terrorism is employed by all manner of religious fundamentalists. One does not the promise of 72 virgins to explode a car bomb: any old faith will do, so long as the principle tenants demand the destruction of unbelievers.

When will the headlines of such horrible tragedies finally read “Religious xenophobia (mixed with equally ignoble patriotism) claims more victims”?

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A couple living in Australia believe that they are Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and they’re taking donations! AJ Miller and his girlfriend Mary want you to know that the long wait for the Messiah is over! Rejoice, believers, for the Son of Man (also called “The Human One” now) has returned, and he lives down under.

I know what you’re thinking: what proof does AJ Miller have that he’s the messiah? Get ready to be blown away, people:

There’s probably a million people who say they’re Jesus and most of them are in asylums. But one of us has to be. How do I know I am? Because I remember everything about my life.”

Ah, well, that makes perfect sense to me. They can’t all be lying, right? One of them has to be an all powerful, all knowing creator of the Cosmos. Sure, he looks a little pedestrian with his flowery shirt and his super tired-looking girlfriend, but that’s because he’s been living off the donations of some 40 followers, so the money hasn’t seriously started rolling in just yet! Give him a few more years and he’ll have enough sheep shoveling him money to buy a really swinging wardrobe.

Your skeptical mind might be wondering why he’s chosen to come back now. Well, it’s obviously because every other church on this planet got his message wrong, and now he has to give seminars explaining how souls work. If you’re too busy to show up, then you can always download his shitty recordings for free (you can donate, but he’ll probably spend all that money of more ugly shirts) .

The main reason why I have returned to earth is to teach the Divine Truth that was lost, and to present to mankind the choice that we all have in front of us now, and this choice is: continue to follow the Natural Love path of progression until the 6th sphere state, or, learn and follow the Divine Love path of progression which will result in our infinite expansion.

Um, ok…So if you’re wondering what exactly the Divine Love Path is all about, picture the most annoying hippy bullshit and then infuse it with Christianity. The result is a confusing mess of platitudes and make-believe nonsense that will make your brain hurt. Can you believe how insanely gullible his followers are? They have “no reason” to doubt his claims? Honestly folks, I think you need to learn a little skepticism in life. It might save you precious time and money…

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It looks like Governor Rick Perry and his religious posse are getting a little bit crazier every day. You might recall that Perry is organizing a massive prayer rally at Reliant Stadium with the intent of begging God to fix all of America’s financial problems. You see, rather than actually bother to come up with real solutions (like making sure companies like Exxon or General Electric actually pay taxes), Ricky and his theocratic buddies feel as though this is the beginning of an exciting new government that puts the focus on their favorite invisible friend, and to celebrate the unconstitutional marriage of religion and politics, they’ve declared Texas to be the “Prophet State“.

The movement’s top prophets and apostles believe they have a direct line to God. Through them, they say, He communicates specific instructions and warnings. When mankind fails to heed the prophecies, the results can be catastrophic: earthquakes in Japan, terrorist attacks in New York, and economic collapse. On the other hand, they believe their God-given decrees have ended mad cow disease in Germany and produced rain in drought-stricken Texas.

These religious nutjobs are hoping that Perry eventually runs for president in order to “restore” Christianity and make America a theocracy. Although you might think I’m being overly rhetorical (I am guilty of this on countless occasions), their mandate really is to fundamentally change the way government functions:

The new prophets and apostles believe Christians—certain Christians—are destined to not just take “dominion” over government, but stealthily climb to the commanding heights of what they term the “Seven Mountains” of society, including the media and the arts and entertainment world. They believe they’re intended to lord over it all. As a first step, they’re leading an “army of God” to commandeer civilian government.

You know how some people think that it doesn’t matter what you believe in so long as you keep it to yourself? Well, these people have no interest in keeping their insane beliefs private; they want everyone else to tow the same theocratic line. They have power, money, influence, and (worst of all), a fucking plan. And what do we have? A bunch of disorganized internet keyboard warriors that can’t even agree as to what constitutes appropriate behavior at conferences.

We are so screwed…

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I’m feeling good this morning. According to Christian apologist Josh McDowell, the web is infested with atheists like me trying to spread their vile message of godlessness and pornography. While I certainly agree with the first part of the accusation, I wish to clarify that while TGA endorces pornography, I still think that there’s way too much of it that’s anal. What happened to the vagina, guys? And please, I’m begging you: no more ass-to-mouth. You’re fucking killing me.

McDowell is worried that as Christianity slowly goes the way of the dodo, sexual “immorality” is growing, and the only way to explain this is by blaming a group you dislike for ideological reasons:

The Internet has given atheists, agnostics, skeptics, the people who like to destroy everything that you and I believe, the almost equal access to your kids as your youth pastor and you have… whether you like it or not.

Oh noes! Did you know that children are being exposed to other opinions besides Christianity? Overwhelmingly, the tech saviness of atheists have given us the advantage, and as a result, the whole world is becoming a giant cesspool of sexual permissiveness.

I made the statement off and on for 10-11 years that the abundance of knowledge, the abundance of information, will not lead to certainty; it will lead to pervasive skepticism. And, folks, that’s exactly what has happened. It’s like this. How do you really know, there is so much out there… This abundance [of information] has led to skepticism. And then the Internet has leveled the playing field

Not skepticism! Every crime in the history of humanity was the result of someone thinking for themselves, and not taking things based merely on authority, right?

Of course, the only thing that seems to REALLY occupy his mind is the amount of pornography that’s available on the Internet. He should know: according to this article in New Scientist, states with a higher percentage of conservative voters watch more porn than their hippy counterparts. It’s not really all that surprising: for evangelicals, sin is some hot and nasty shit, bound to be entangled with feelings of guilt, remorse and shame. Throw in a little crystal meth and a gay prostitute in the mix, and you’re ready to be a minister!

The majority of all the 2.2 billion people who go to the Internet daily are between 15 to 25 years of age, he said. And there are 4.2 million pornographic sites. “Do you know how many pornographic emails would be circulated just today? 2.5 billion…just one click away.

I love how these guys seem to conflate atheism with pornography, as though the lack of belief in a 2000 year old dead Jewish carpenter (the first and the last I’m assuming) somehow means that kids are going to do hot and nasty things to one another. Newsflash, Josh: they already do that shit regardless of what you tell them. It’s kind of the reason why the human race has endured; if we didn’t like fucking so much, we’d be facing extinction like the modern panda.

(via)

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I’m pretty sure this is how Christianity started…

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When Behemoth front-man Adam “Nergal” Darski tore up the Bible during his show, calling Christianity the deadliest cult in human history, he did more than offend his fellow Poles. He was also facing charges of blasphemy in his own country, but luckily, the charges appear to have been dropped.

I was actually surprised by the comments of one Christian who was relieved by this:

Common sense prevails – he tore up a book, good job it wasn’t the Koran! I’m a Catholic and wouldn’t tear up a bible, but he was making a personal comment and someone chose to make political mileage from it. I don’t agree with what he did, but prosecution is going too far.

If Christians were all like this guy, the world would be a lot less shitty…

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This one is addressed to everyone on the site, so you know what to do, people!

My name is Brittany. I am 17 years old, and an atheist living in Pensacola, Florida.

Something happened just recently in my family that I really want to share with you as well as other atheist communities. I could really use some advice- this problem has been present for as long as I’ve come out as an atheist and seems to be deteriorating my family the longer I remain an atheist. I desperately need some feedback because, at this point, I don’t know what else I can do.

Last night I was watching television, and completely unannounced to me, the entire youth group of the church I used to attend came to my house- my little brother being the driving force. Needless to say, I was extremely nervous, but I knew what they were here for and decided to just push through it. Of course, it was about an hour of preaching directly to me under the watch of my previous Christian peers, Christian friends, and Christian family. I’m not going to try to be noble and say I fared well- I don’t think I’ve ever been shaken up so badly. I cannot ever accurately portray the guilt I felt when my brother, unable to speak and overcome with tears, confesses to me how much he loves me and looks up to me followed by how my entire family and the church thinks my life has become “dead” for not having Christianity the driving force of my existence.

What I find interesting is that I’ve just recently been able to cope with numerous anxiety problems I’ve been having due to leaving religion. Although I wouldn’t say it is post-religion PTSD, (although I’ve learned a lot from Rich Lyons and I do seem to exhibit the majority of symptoms) I’ve always known I have not necessarily been as stable since I’ve had to deal with these issues. This past year, I’ve finally been able to gain control of my anxiety. And although attacks can still be triggered by church services or late-night surprise preaching, I finally came to a point where I felt like I could be a normal kid again. Christianity is what made me “dead.”

I was really shaken and scared last night but I understood their good intentions. I simply responded after the hour “Thank for guys for coming. I think it’s very sweet that you’re concerned about me. But I’ve grown up in the same upbringing as all of you, and I’ve made my decision.” I was careful to be very polite, although there were a few choice words I would have liked to say. Regardless, there is no point in arguing with them.

Afterward, I was ranting to a good friend who is also an atheist and understands when I need to vent. He actually brought something up that I can hardly force myself to consider, but I fear it may be my only option. He suggested that I just tell my family I’m a Christian. Go along with it. Not to be neutral or even passive, but just to pretend I buy it. Maybe it’ll make things easier while I’m still living here. Although saying I’m a Christian may be easy enough (if we aren’t considering my flaming pride-fullness), pulling off such an act would require me to completely dive into my Christian life before I came out- events, services, friendships, worship, praying, and all. (At least while my family is looking.) Like I said earlier, the thought of this is enraging to me because I want so badly just to be myself and for that to be okay. But I’m afraid it will never be okay until I finally leave.

Of course I’d still be an atheist, but this idea has really been bothering me. I want to be proud of who I am as a non-believer, but if it is tearing my family apart, is it selfish for me to even acknowledge my beliefs? Part of me says they are selfish and playing the victims, but the other part of my is just exhausted of all this and wants to just breathe freely again. The only thing I’m truly worried about is if giving in to this idea and throwing my alter-ego into Christianity will once again trigger the anxiety issues I’ve worked so hard to overcome.

I understand this is a lot to process, but I really need some help.
Is it worth it to tell my family I’m an atheist if it only causes chaos? Should I just pretend I believe for their sake, and continue my life as an avid non-believer under-cover?

Please let me know what you think and feel free to have members give feedback- I want as many points of view as I can get.

Thanks so much for all you do,
Brittany

Here’s what burns me up: believers being so “bothered” by our non-belief that they just can’t let it go. They force people like Britney to make these kinds of horribly difficult decisions. Sure, it comes from a “good place”, but so did the desire to burn witches to save their souls. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Sound familiar?

With that said, I’m the least qualified person to answer this. Honestly, I’ve never been in a situation similar to yours Brittany, so any suggestion I make is tainted by my perception as an ‘ivory tower’ non-believer. So please guys, can some of you with similar life stories give her some useful advice?

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I have to say I strongly disagree with Dan regarding this idea that Christianity is being “hijacked” by conservatives. Progressive Christianity is a fairly recent phenomenon. I doubt the thousands of witches burned at the stake would disagree (the last trial for sorcery took place in 1783 in Poland. Hardly ancient history). Religions are all conservative by nature. They demand adherence to strict dogma and tradition. The history of homophobia in Christianity is too ancient to trace. To pretend somehow that the religion is accepting is to ignore the fact that most religious people simply pick and choose their morality, rather than extracting any hard lessons from the Bible.

As far as the idea that the growth in Non-belief is somehow partially due to embarrassed Christians, I think it only demonstrates how impossible it has become to defend this belief. Their best line of defense is still “faith”. Try defending any other argument with that bullshit answer. I don’t image it’ll go very far.

If you’re a liberal Christian and you want to scream in the faces of your religious counterparts, then go nuts. Just remember that as far as they are concerned, you’re just as bad as the non-believers. Your opinions and values mean nothing to them. You’ve obviously strayed away from the “core” faith in their eyes, and there’s really no point in trying to use your sophisticated nonsense to try and debate with them. They follow scripture, while you follow the morality of a post-Enlightenment society. Guess which one has more weight to these clowns?

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Could this guy be more wrong? Here’s a couple choice passages I couldn’t help but comment on (as I’m sure most of you will dissect the rest).

As crusading atheism is sort of a cause today, it is popular, I don’t want to say among scientists, I mean that’s too general and it isn’t so.

Is it ironic for a Christian to use the word “Crusade” when talking about atheism? I sometimes wish these clowns would study their own history. It would make them abandon such a word. The Crusades were one of the bloodiest, savage and murderous campaign in human history. To compare men like Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris to Crusaders is a false equivalence. Comparing professional sectarian murderers with academic debaters is not only insulting; it’s just plain stupid.

I think human beings have faced hard challenges. The Second World War was a difficult a crisis as mankind ever will face. Fifty million people died, humanity teetered on the edge.

Actually, Steven Pinker has a fantastic presentation on the myth of violence, in particular this idea that the Second World War was the bloodiest and most savage conflict in human history. Yes, a lot of people did die, but compared to the mortality rates of other conflicts in ancient times, the odds of being killed by your fellow man in WWII was much lower. We are living in the most peaceful time in the history of mankind, and yet we’re constantly thinking the opposite.

State paganism was preached aggressively by Hitler-ite Germany, which despised Christianity as much as it hated Jews; didn’t hate Christians as people, but it hated Christianity.

Yeah, the Reichskonkordat seems to contradict your retarded statement, Dave. For anyone unfamiliar with this treaty, it was signed only 6 months after Hitler took power, and it’s still technically valid today. The Concordat made the Holy See of Rome the only official religion of Germany. Hardly sounds like paganism, does it?

If you want a “second opinion”, there’s a great video by notinmyname2050 disecting all of these terrible arguments.

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