The Good Atheist

Here’s the thing; we all have a few assholes in our group of friends, and we generally hope they won’t do anything to fuck up your life. So when these same assholes do something like repeatedly deface an atheist billboard in Idaho*, we all shake our heads disapprovingly and move on.

I actually think that allowing religious jerkoffs to mess with your billboard is actually a good thing; most people find this kind disrespectful juvenile tactic to be counter productive, and if you’re trying to make a point (like that believing in God sure doesn’t mean you are forced to respect property rights), this is usually the way to do it.

I’m sure this little game of cat and mouse will keep happening for a while, but what can you do? The world is full of assholes!

*I originally wrote that it was in Russia, but I’m an idiot. Thanks for clarifying, Charles

I think fingerprinting people is kind of paranoid and ridiculous, but I never thought anyone would be against it on religious grounds. Guess I’m an idiot. Pam McLaurin is an evangelical Christian who takes her book of Revelation pretty fucking seriously. She thinks that by having her fingerprints in a database, she’ll be cursed and marked for eternal damnation. She filed a lawsuit against Texas Education Agency (who will fire her is she doesn’t comply to their policy), citing religious discrimination. Check out one of the passages she put in the brief:

He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand and on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.… Then a third angel followed them saying with a loud voice — if anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God.… He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb.

It’s some pretty scary shit when you think about it. Has not one really considered the possibility that St. John was totally batshit crazy when he wrote it? Actually, Thomas Jefferson sure thought so, as did Martin Luther. I have to shake my head in disbelief that some people can take the insane rantings of a lunatic seriously (and when I say some, I mean millions of people). Fuck, I need to go grab a drink (or twelve).

Can you think of any reason why one human being should attack another? Perhaps if your own safety is threatened, or if you need to protect your loved ones. I find there are very few valid reasons for one person to hurt another, but I must be in the minority. Take this douche, Robert Bellamy Jr, who along with accomplices assaulted and robbed  two men dressed in woman’s clothing, telling police that “God made me hate gays”.

Bellamy and his troop stalked the victims around town, harassing them verbally and physically, all the while yelling anti-gay slurs. The assailants spotted the victims again a short time later, and decided to escalate to physical violence, stealing their wallets in the process for a total haul of 7$ (here’s a tip: to avoid long jail sentences, it’s usually a good idea not to rob the people you beat up).

Police have said that the sexual orientation of the victims was irrelevant and stated that Bellamy was going to be charged with a hate crime. You see, the attack actually happened on Halloween, so there’s no reason to believe that the victims were in fact gay. Maybe they were going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show or something. Who knows?

I have to wonder how Jr’s perception of homosexuality might be changed a little bit when he gets sent to the slammer and his sweet virgin ass starts being traded around for a pack of cigarettes. Good luck in prison, fuckface.

Check out this hilarious note a girl from Utah found on her car. She’s since had it framed, and her husband (the guy she was being inappropriate with) still get a chuckle out of it. It’s just more proof that the “moral majority” can’t keep their fucking noses out of other people’s business.

“Hi, you don’t know me but I’ve noticed that you go into #306 apt. late @ night & I sometimes see you coming out in the morning & it’s obvious that you sleep over there b/c your car is parked @ King Henry all night. I know that it’s really none of my business but my roomates & I think that it’s inappropriate to be staying @ a boy’s house all night. I feel like I should talk to James about this problem, perhaps King Henry, but I think that you could, & should, fix this problem on your own w/out my intervention.
Thanks for your time – Have a great day ”

Here’s the thing: just because you’re politely telling someone that you disapprove of their lifestyle, it doesn’t mean that gives you the right to tell others how to live. How many times have I been “politely” informed that I was going to burn in hell for all eternity for not believing that an illiterate Jew was a God. Too many times to count, really.

I always thought Dracula and Jesus shared a lot in common. Both have a huge obsession with blood and eating human flesh (communion, anyone?), and both leave behind mindless bloodsuckers who try to convert you over to the dark side all the fucking time. Plus, like a vampire, they can’t come in to your house unless you invite them, so be weary!

(props to Isaac for the find)

Living in the US these days, you’d never know the country has some pretty fucking serious problems that need to be addressed; specifically the shitty economy, the two wars you can’t seem to get out of, and the fact that 40 million people are without health insurance. It seems like the only REAL issue for many Americans is gay marriage, and I’m sad to announce that one of the few state where it’s still legal (Maine) just voted it down.

The majority has spoken, and their voices overwhelmingly decided that certain individuals aren’t worthy of the same rights as others (another victory for the tyranny of the majority!). It’s a historic day for Mainers, as they’ve proven once again that you don’t need a tyrant to take people’s rights away; you just have to rely on people’s bigotry to do it for you!

I thought you were cool, Maine. You’re a beautiful state, and I always found Mainers shared similar values to us Canucks. I guess if you’re gay, however, their friendly demeanor changes just a little bit. Mainers, you’ve just proven that America as a whole still has a lot of fucking growing up to do.

If you’re a regular youtube “troller”, than you should probably subscribe to these guys: they do good work!
(props to Maggie for the find)

You’ve got to love Bill Donohue; no matter what the Catholic Church does, Bill is there to defend them to the death. Here he is claiming that the abuse of thousands of kids in Ireland at the hands of priests is an almost complete fabrication, and that all of the victims are just a bunch of money hungry gold diggers. Thanks to the hard work of insane douchebags like “Dr” Bill here, atheists have to work a lot less hard to convince people to abandon their religion. Thanks for just being your crusty, ignorant self Billy-Boy!
(thanks for the link, Anida)

Remember how I wrote about all those kids who died because their ignorant parents preferred to pray for them to get better rather than call a real doctor? Well, it appears that a couple senators are trying to include a provision to the healthcare bill that would require insurers to cover Christian Science prayer as a legitimate medical expense.

The Church of Christ, Scientist has its headquarters in Massachusetts, and it received support from Sen. John Kerry (remember that boring ass Democrat?), and the late Ted Kennedy. So if you think this as party politics, recognize the fact that so long as an annoying religious group has enough money, just about any fucking senator is up for sale.

During the day, Davis may see multiple patients and pray for them at different moments. He charges them $20 to $40 for the day, saying, “I think that it would be considered modest by any standard.”

It sounds like a pretty sweet racket, honestly. These Christian Scientists charge between 20-40 dollars a day for praying per person, and they probably go through a lot of patients suckers a day. I mean, how much prayer can one man do per day? If they can insert themselves into the healthcare bill, who knows how much cash they would be raking in. I feel like a dick asking for the same amount per year for recording a bunch of podcasts. That’s a lot of work compared to a guy that puts his hands together and begs God to stop the cancer that is rotting you from the inside (the same cancer He put there with his divine Will).

If these fucking assholes get their way, who knows how many other of these con artists will try and receive funding for their make-believe therapies. Are we going to have crystal practitioners complain that they aren’t allowed to charge people to put differently colored rocks on people’s heads? What about Iridologists who think they can diagnose disease by looking into your eyes?

Any of you Americans hopeful that health care reform is going to happen, you have to accept the hard reality that your politicians are entirely in the pocket of big business and big religion. The fact that Christian Scientists, who actively discourage their members from seeking medical attention for serious illness, are being inserted like this despite their insanity proves that no one is really interested in the health of Americans. Is it too early to say you’re all fucked?

NOTE: Remember that little girl that got medical treatment and her Christian Science parents disowned her? Yep, these guys really should be part of your health care plan, don’t you think?

If you’ve never seen the documentary, “Is Alcohol worse than ecstasy?”, I urge you to see it. It’ll make the sacking of Professor David Nutt, the UK’s chief drug adviser all the more relevant. You see, Professor Nutt had the “audacity” to claim that ecstasy and LSD were less dangerous than alcohol and tobacco.

For real scientists, this revelation is nothing new. The drug policy of most countries aren’t based on real scientific information, but are rather dictated by fear of something people rarely understand. No one feels that alcohol is a drug, despite the fact that an estimated 76 million people suffer from alcohol dependence, and over 1.8 million people die every year from consuming it. You don’t even want to fucking know how many people die prematurely from smoking cigarettes. It’s depressing.

In protest of Prof. Nutt getting canned, a bunch of other scientists have also quit their government jobs. As is typical in this kind of situation, the one responsible is trying very hard to justify his actions:

Mr Johnson insisted that he was right to force Professor Nutt to stand down months after he took over as council chairman. “You cannot have a chief adviser at the same time stepping into the public field and campaigning against government decisions,” he said.

The fear of illicit drugs is a potent tool of control in our modern society. How else can you explain the fact that we prosecute our own citizens for doing nothing more than putting a foreign substance into their OWN FUCKING BODIES. And don’t try to give me this “we need to protect people from themselves” bullshit that people love to toss around. You don’t protect anybody by throwing individuals with drug problems into the same institutions where you keep murderers and thieves.

It’s almost comically easy to scare the shit out of the public when it comes to mysterious and exotic substances, and when people are scared, they get stupid and desperate enough to allow unjust and inhumane laws to exists under the guise of “protecting their children” or something equally obnoxious. Meanwhile, the two deadliest drugs on the planet are heavily taxed by governments. I’m actually in favor of this all around. Why do we think it’s weird to legislate a drug? How many of you people are reading this very article with a damn beer in your hand? What hell did you think that shit was? Candy???

**NOTE** I think we should call “alcohol poisoning” what it really is: a fucking drug overdose.

(Props to Tom for the find)