Letter to a passive aggressive religious douche

What do you do when your copy of Penn Jillette’s “Every Day is an Atheist Holiday” gets defaced by a religious prick co-worker? Well, you write them a letter letting them know how shitty a person they are!

An open letter to the passive-aggressive, sanctimonious jerk who defaced my private property:

To begin, the mere assumption that I am an atheist because I read a book with the same word in the title is a dangerous prospect. With that reasoning, I am also a zombie superhero demi-god. Which I am not. However, you did guess correctly, I am an atheist, so, bully for you.

Now, more to the point of what and why you did that which you did. Your beliefs seems to be that my lack of religion is based on a simple lack of exposure. Allow me to squash this notion quickly. I was raised in a Christian household, went to Sunday School and church services every week, and even would read the Bible for fun.

And the cornerstone of that upbringing was my mother. Through DECADES of abuse and neglect, she turned to God. Her strength, poise, and quiet dignity would serve to inspire anyone, even boorish zealots like you.

My decision was based on distilling my life experiences, reading scores of books, quiet reflection and boisterous debate. It was not easy or cavalier. Yet in the end, I was called to follow my nature. So, if you’re still reading. Fuck off.


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