Walmart greeter takes time from work to tell you about burning in hellfire

Don’t you love it when Christians make creepy videos telling you the ‘good news’ that you’re a sinning piece of filth who doesn’t even deserve God’s awesome love? Here’s a Walmart greeter to tell you that you don’t have to spend forever in torment if you just accept that a 2000 year old Palestinian Jew of questionable historical merit was the creator of the cosmos. Oh, the catch is, if you don’t, you’ll burn in hell forever. Sounds a bit harsh you say?

“Now I know that may seem a bit harsh ([being thrown in a lake of fire for all eternity] but ask yourself: what does a good judge do to a guilty criminal? In other words, if you do the crime, you do the time. You see, God isn’t willing for any of us to parish [sic] in spite of the fact that we’ve all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God.”

Either Christians fail to understand the moral repugnance of an eternity of torment as punishment, or they believe that every tiny offense (of which there are countless in their religion) merits a judgement that no living person would even dare hand out. How long, for instance, would it be morally justified to torture Adolf Hitler in hell? I admit a part of me does want to seek revenge, but eternity is a long time. In fact, eternity never ends, which means there would never be respite for anyone who had commited even the most repugnant crime.

Besides, with the Christian God, being a ‘criminal’ is often the result of ‘thought crime’. The authors of the Bible are quick to point out that even lusting after someone is commiting a mortal sin. You can’t even masturbate to thoughts of your neighbor’s wife without risking spending forever bathing in a lake of fire. Yeah, you’re right buddy. That does sound pretty fucking harsh.

“But here’s the good news: Proving he was God, Jesus came to this earth; performed many miracles. He raised the dead, he healed the sick, the lame, the blind, and then he did something even more miraculous: he proved he was god by fulfilling all the prophesies that were written about the coming of the Messiah who would take away the sins of the world.”

I love how endlessly impressed Christians are by second hand accounts of a series of lousy magic tricks. Surely an all powerful creator of the universe can do more than replicaate a few loaves of bread and fish, or curse a bunch of pigs to die. Besides, how ‘miraculous’ is it when you fulfill prophesies you were already aware of? And what about the whole prophesy of the Messiah NOT dying and re-establishing the make believe kingdom of Judea? Seems like a rather big one right there. I remember the Jews feeling like his candidacy was severely threatened by this obvious failure.

“Why would God send his one and only son to take the punishment for your sin and for mine? Because he loves you.”

Yeah, I don’t want that kind of creepy love. Besides, if Jesus rose again, then he never really sacrificed anything more than a weekend of being beaten like a dog, all for his/his dad’s amusement. And with all that fucked up love, the deal is that if you don’t accept this pathetic charity, this very act merits your eternity in that lake of fire God so lovingly crafted for us. Man, with a friend like that, who needs enemies?

(via Christian Nightmares)

Comments (4)

  • avatar


    Just a minute while I throw up. How can anyone believe this garbage?

  • avatar


    Yes, Dave. They’re known as The Deluded.

  • avatar


    It’s not much of an offer. I’d be more inclined to take part if they improved the wine and crackers on offer for brunch on Sunday morning. For a start, there’s never enough. All they offer me is a small sip from a mug everyone else uses with only a cursery wipe for cleanliness. Then, one wee cracker! One! That’s not going to satisfy anyone. If they put potato chips, sweet chilli sauce and an avacodo dip on the menu it would be much better. I’d still have trouble believing that brunch was actually jesus’ blood and flesh because it tastes like a cracker and red wine. No meaty taste or anything. Surely they can do better.

  • avatar


    This is an example of how clearly religion corrupts everything and everyone. I have this random person spouting meaningless nonsense, but the basic definitions of the words he used are telling me that I need to believe in the same BS he does, in order to obtain this “eternal life” thing. These tools must answer these questions:

    1) They honestly believe I’m a criminal simply for having been born? That if I reached the age of say, 6, and never accepted Jesus before dying, that I’m fodder for this “lake of fire”? Why should I think this is moral, and why should I ever consider myself a criminal? Where’s the evidence? Why am I doomed because of what an old book says I am, when I had no say?

    2) Why do they always insist on highlighting “god’s only son”? He’s god; he can make as many freaking children as he wants, as often as he wants, especially if he’s master of the universe. Explain how god choosing to only have 1 direct son makes a difference, because nobody’s stopping him. That is, unless he’s refusing to have more children just *so* he can have his kneeling followers highlight the fact that he only had a single son, who just had to be sacrificed…

    3) And about that sacrifice, why is having a son that must be murdered a necessary condition to achieve god’s ends? It’s black mail from every angle.

    4) How is Jesus’ enduring of torture and death on one day, with the express understanding that he’d become a supreme immortal god in a matter of hours afterward, a sacrifice? If some rich dude comes up to me and tells me to give away all my assets to charity, only after which he’ll give me 30 million dollars (which is more than I could ever hope to make at present), and then he does exactly that, have I sacrificed anything?

    5) Why didn’t Jesus heal any amputees now? Why do his miracles hide behind a bunch of text on white paper, as part of a story written a very long time ago? In fact, why are his miracles relegated to a comparative few individuals, rather than large swathes of people in his time? Why do miracle claims made in the here and now fail under the scrutiny of science?

    And this is if we grant that Jesus even exists as a god now.

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