Papacy finally OKs condom use

It was only a matter of time before the millions of African men, women, and children slowly dying of AIDS would shame the Catholic Church into changing its stance on condom use. In a new book set to be released, based on conversations with the Pope, Benedict said in some cases, using a piece of rubber on your dick would not make God angry.

When he was asked if his church was against condom use, he said:

“It of course does not see it as a real and moral solution. In certain cases, where the intention is to reduce the risk of infection, it can nevertheless be a first step on the way to another, more humane sexuality.”

If you’re wondering why a sexless adult should have anything to say about sexuality, remember that the ‘humane’ interpretation of sexuality usually involves not having any. St. Paul was famous for his hatred of sexuality. As far as he was concerned, it was far better never to have sex than procreate. He saw celibacy as more pure, more divine. This sick attitude towards sex has since infested our world and made masturbation, one of life’s few enjoyments, a sin.

All of this is coming way too late. The majority of Catholics have been pro-birth control for a while now, and as usual, it’s the top brass who are late to the reform party. How many millions of people died needlessly because of some bullshit interpretation of Onan jizzing on the ground? How many unwanted babies were aborted, with their mothers bleeding to death in back alleys because of the church’s stance on contraception? Fucking ridiculous.

But wait, there’s more!

His language in attacking the use of recreational drugs in the West and its impact on the rest of the world is particularly striking.

Do they have to ruin everything that’s fun?

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