Mother’s letter to atheist son shows the divisive power of religion
Here’s a tragic example of what happens when your loved ones are ensnared in the clutches of religious dogma:
My Darling Son David,
You are so very special to me and have always been the love of my life. I used to think when you were little that I would die for you, and live because of you. You meant the world to me and I will always love you very much.
Because of this love I always wanted you to have the happiest, safest life I could provide and tried to bring you up with the strongly held beliefs I lived by, in the hope that this would affect your own life for the good and ultimately you would live forever in Paradise on earth. You know all this be the case.
I personally have always believed in the Truth as presented in the Bible and have always felt the strong presence of Jehovah God and Jesus in my life, even as a child. I have always believed the prophesies in the Bible, and that there will be paradise on earth in which everyone will live in peace and love with no war, sickness and death, and that the dead will be resurrected due to Jehovah’s justice and fairness. I have always lived my life with all this in view, and have never sought a worldly, secular career or pathway. Becoming one of Jehovah’s Witness was the obvious next step for me.
This letter is being written by me with no outside coercion or influence because there are things I want to say to you. Being in the Truth had never been easy but when all is said and done, I am in it because of my belief in Jehovah, and what he has done for us, and will yet do.
I’m always a little suspicious whenever someone says specifically in a letter that they are not being coerced.
People will always let you down, and somehow we have to look above and beyond, at the bigger picture. So to say that some people who profess to be Christians live in ways that show them to be hypocrites is no exaggeration. But I strongly feel that whilst they may fool themselves and others, they can’t fool Jehovah, and “it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God”.
I have chosen my path and my way of life and so I must live by the commands and statutes laid down in the Bible by Jehovah himself. One of these commands has been the cause of great stress and grief to me, and I have put it off for too long now. I realize that I would have benefitted [sic] spiritually by doing things Jehovah’s way from the start, and I must emphasize that what I am about to say to you is not influenced by any other living person, but is purely directed by my conscience and a desire to regain my peaceful friendship with God. Nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do.
I’m always really suspicious whenever someone claims not to have been coerced…multiple times in the same letter.
whilst this is the single most painful thing I have ever had to do in my entire life, I need to move forwards towards the goal of everlasting life, and to this end I deeply regret that I must terminate our relationship whilst you remain disfellowshipped.
I have cried myself dry over this situation, and it has broken my heart , but David you have known that it should have been handled this way from the start. You have chosen your path in life, and I wish you all the best. I want you to know that not only will my love always be there for you, but Jehovah too is waiting with open arms for your return.
Your loving mother, now and forever.
Her last line says it all; confused about her own delusion and her love for her son, she’s created an imaginary opening to have him back in her life: simply return to God and all is forgiven! Hey, it’s what Jesus would have wanted. He did say, after all, that you should abandon your families if they don’t believe in his ownership of all reality. How else are you suppose to manage a cult?
(via davetrash)
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Mykelb
Dear Mother,
I have taken your letter to several professionals in the medical field. They have come to the conclusion that you are an irrational, illogical, brainwashed, fuckwit of a mother who doesn’t know what love really is about. Please shove your buybull so far up your cunt that you never have enough feeling left in your fingers to write to me again.
Sincerely, Your ever Loving Son.
Brenda
There is no person, religion, god, deity, sickness, punishment,…that would make me renounce or abandon my son even if it meant giving up my very life…my very existence…
This woman is an irrational, idiotic puppet of her religion and a poor excuse for a mother whose first atrocity is abandoning the single most important role she has in life!
Unbelievable!
Joe
It demeans all Atheists when an organism like Mykelb expresses itself with abuse and foul language.
Richard
I don’t see the big deal, frankly. I don’t know how old this guy is, but if he’s like 20 or older then it’s not like he needs his mother the way a child or teenager does. I know this is damning with faint praise, but it’s not like she’s forcing him to do anything, or worse trying to kill him for dishonouring the family, the way a certain religion of peace does. She’s just saying that while he chooses to be reject the church, she doesn’t want to have a relationship with him. While this is cold and somewhat unusual, it’s honest and straightforward. Frankly, I’m not as appalled as it seems I should be.
Scott Jensen
I can say from experience, being shunned and cut off from family members is devastating. It didn’t hit me at first, but once I turned 30, it hit hard.
Laura Ross
I lost my faith as a teenager and did everything I could to get it back. I personally never was able to believe in God again no matter how hard I tried, and I’m 52 now. So it’s useless and cruel for this mother to write a letter like this, as if her pressure could change his beliefs.
Kain
Richard… she’s disowning her son for not believing in her imaginary friend. If we didn’t give so much unworthy credence to religious belief, she’d be consigned to an asylum by now.
karl
This “mother” is writing this “letter” in an attempt to absolve herself of any blame for the probable distress it will cause to her son and possibly extended “family” who may read it. Anybody who follows a “religion or belief system” is inherently selfish as they only concerned about they must do to obtain “gods love/approval” without regard for anybody else (as the above letter proves). It is also a crystal clear example of why “religion” should be publicly banned.
Kim Rippere
My grandmother, a devout Catholic, had this to say on the subject to her atheist granddaughter: A parent that is willing to give up their child(ren) for a belief is worse than being an atheist!
BlueIndependent
This letter is the sort of thing you show to anyone who claims “Oh religion is great because it gives you solace.”
When you look at how this letter is written, how she expresses herself, the emotional machinations she goes through, the beliefs she is – apparently – literally afraid for her own life to shed or even lose a moment of faith over, you cannot help but see how corrupt religious belief can truly be. When I read how she referred to her god, I immediately thought “she’s JW”, and once it was confirmed, I knew exactly how the letter would end.
I don’t know whether to be angry at someone like this, or to pity them. That’s how stark the problem is; I don’t even know how to react to someone acting in this way. She’s so disconnected from reality because of the crap she’s been fed. I can’t imagine what she’d do if one day she found out it was all a lie. Obviously, actively removing her son from her life wasn’t enough to cause her to re-evaluate things even a little. So what would?
But to get back to what I started with, so much for religion providing solace. We need only read this letter to see the anguish it causes someone who believes so hard, she can’t tell who she truly loves – her beliefs or her progeny. Solace isn’t the act of emotionally draining yourself over intentionally forcing your own child out of your life, and then trudging on without them but in the company of similarly lost people who are, ultimately, in this game only for themselves.
See here how a comforting word’s definition is transformed into functional insanity because of religion.
Rimon
This is heartbreaking.
mctaffity
I used to be a JW myself, however, my leaving (after being a baptised member for a good ten years) caused barely a murmur – most probably because I had no close family members involved in the church who may have written a letter like this.
Not fair really is it? Who knows, maybe if I’d had a letter of this sort I’d returned to the service of Jehovah, rather than the path of wanton debauchery and self destruction I’ve strayed onto (!)
Obviously, I’d don’t really envy the poor chap who received this damnable communication, and I love suckling at satan’s teat, but one of the very first thoughts that put doubt in my mind about a loving god is that he does not treat us all the same…
VinDepo
Like BlueIndependent, I knew right away it was the letter of a JW mom, and where it would go. I’m very fortunate (being in the same case than the son here), that my mom has kept her balance, and will never shun me while I am now an atheist, and her still an active JW. Some people are just more controlled than others. It’s sad really — here’s a mom shunning the son and live she has NOW, for a fantasy fairy tale that will obviously never come. As Hitchens would say, “religion poisons everything” – indeed.
I agree with JOe, that Mykelb is an embarrassment to us non-believers.
Isaac J. Harris
Sometimes people tend to downplay the impact something like this can have. Especially if they’re not all that close to their own families. But people need to understand that, in most cases, being cut off is devastating. It’s also a form of coercion, or emotional blackmail, employed by small isolationist religions for a very long time.
I’ve seen cases where Jehovah’s Witnesses have handled it in ways that were even worse than this one. But this letter was not kind. In nearly it’s entirety, the letter was about her and how he disappointed her. It plainly says, “This is your fault and I absolve myself of any responsibility my shunning you might have.”
Also, her saying that she was not coerced is only half true. There may not have been anyone pointing a literal gun at her head, but if anyone at her Kingdom Hall found out she was communicating with her disfellowshipped son in any way, the congregation would have disfellowshipped her as well. DFing means you are shunned–literally treated as if you do not exist–and you are excommunicated. She clearly believes in this stuff and that her religion will lead her to paradise on Earth (that’s what most JWs believe to be in store for them). Losing that would have been devastating for her. It’s entirely possible that someone did find out that she was talking to him and that the local elders warned her to cut him off or else. Disfellowshipping is the figurative gun that JWs hold at each others heads.
For most people, this is not some minor thing. It’s huge. And we’re talking about a religion that is paranoid, controlling, manipulative, and dishonest to its own followers. It is more than willing to use this against its followers and actually prints “success stories” in its magazines about how shunning has forced ex-Witnesses to come back to their Kingdom Hall. Some Witnesses even maintain a list of known apostates who must be avoided online! http://apostateantivirus.blogspot.ca/
Nothing about this should sound healthy to anybody.
Ona
Wow, this could have been written by my dad. Except there would have been more insults “like you must be a communist” and “you are going to burn in hell”. And the one that always makes me laugh,”Don’t you know the rapture is coming in my lifetime.” He used to tell my sweet elderly aunt with genetic mental issues that I’m going to burn in hell and she would call me in tears every couple weeks concerned about my soul. But since I was the one who cared for her, paid for what she needed and spent a year working to going thru her home filled by her hording habits so she could move to a retirement home and not die alone while he fought me every step of the way, I’m sure I’m safe from hell even if there is one. I”m not so sure about him.
Isaac J. Harris
Ona, the JW equivalent would be “you’re so worldly now” and “Armageddon is coming!”
I’ve known ex-Witnesses who were told by their own parents or children that their pets stand a better chance at Armageddon than they do.
The language is different, but the structure and attitude behind the insults are about the same.
amanita
This could have been written by my dad too at one time.Until he saw that I wasnt going to “cave’ and that no one else was going to help him and my mother in their old age,my ‘devout JW sister’ included.So,he softened his attitude.Good thing for him,cause he would have missed out on having a wonderful,fun life for the last few years of his life.He actually began to see the JW’s for what they really are.I hate them,and cant wait till they are exposed for the malicious dangerous cult that they are.I want tickets to the front row of the stoning!!!!
Robster
The JW sect seems little more than a totalitarion theologic cult. I’ve had them over a few times in recent weeks, nice and friendly but quick to lie. I bought up “shunning” and they said no no no, that no longer happens. I mentioned disfellowshipping and they made it sound little more than an inconvenience. They came with a pile of others in a small bus and fanned out around the ‘burb. I told them I’m an atheist and that seemed to inspire them that I may have been some sort of prospect? What? They’ve left lots of pretty magazines and nicely printed little books that all seem to be based on a belief in a magic jew and a magic sky fairy. I ask for proof every time they set foot here, never get an answer that could be considered reasonable. One little book said proudly that there’s now over three and a half million JW’s world wide. Their message is being ignored by 99.9009% of the worlds population. Seems jehova can’t do anything right, the deity’s a total failure.