Church stages kidnapping, facing charges

When your main weapon in the war of ideas is fairy-tale nonsense, I can see how some religionists might feel a little intimidated with reality. Unlike those ‘heady’ days in the past when any old idea passed muster so long as a man of the cloth gave it a thumbs up (like the 17th century edict that declared the beaver a fish), our modern understanding of the natural world has only served to further marginalize faith. As church attendance continues to fall throughout the Western World (32% of us are faithless, according to this recent Gallop poll), desperation is beginning to set in. How else can you explain this story: a Church in Pennsylvania, called ‘Glad Tidings Assembly of God Church’, is facing charges after members staged an elaborate kidnapping hoax in an effort to ‘inform’ kids of the dangers of ‘religious persecution’.

Adults, including an off-duty cop, brandished weapons and put bags over the heads of the children, ages 13 through 18, and forced them into a church van. The group was driven to the home of an assistant pastor, who was presented before the group with a seemingly bloodied and bruised face, according to Dauphin County District Attorney Fran Chardo.

One of the adults used a real AK-47, though the gun was unloaded, Chardo said.

One of the teens, who can’t be identified, seems to be genuinely messed up from the experience (that’s religion for you). If you’re wondering exactly what these morons hoped to accomplish by brandishing weapons and threatening physical harm to children, the explanation from the pastor Pastor John Lanza¬†won’t do much to enlighten you. He tries to justify it by claiming this staged kidnapping would…

secure the shock value of it and to make it much more real because those who are threatened don’t have a warning. It was a youth event to illustrate what others have encountered on a regular basis.”

Well, considering that holding a minor without their consent is a crime punishable by 10 years in jail, perhaps these adults should be given a taste of things to come by staging an elaborate ‘prison’ scenario so they can benefit from illustrating what they can expect on a regular basis in the big house.

(thanks GA_Wolf for the link)

Comments (4)

  • avatar

    J.N. Hudson

    These bastards deserve every single minute of that 10 years. But what is far more likely to happen is a sympathetic judge/jury handing down a severely reduced sentence or probation only “Because these people meant well.” And you can bet your ass that the prosecutor and anyone else involved in the prosecution, including witnesses will almost certainly find themselves demonized as being “anti-christian persecutors” or some other such nonsense that borders on witness tampering.

  • avatar

    fred jones

    So if I want to demonstrate beastality is bad I can force this group to fuck a goat for their own good as long as I’m religious??

  • avatar


    Good old A of G! Looks like not much has changed from my introduction to them many years ago… which is basically “spread the good news by claiming anyone who disagrees with you is potentially inhabited by demons and out to persecute you after we scare the bejesus out of you with end times wet dreams!” Kind of typical of many Baptist denominations too.

  • avatar


    Holy $#!T! My hope is this stunt will indeed teach those kids about religious persecution and EXACTLY who’s doing it, their church!

    Unfortunately I don’t believe anyone behind this will ever spend a day in jail, much less see the inside of a courtroom. Sadly, the way things stand you can pretty much say or do anything you want and so long as you preface it with, “Well the BIBLE says…” you will never be called to account.

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