Poll: Which Biblical Patriarch wins the “Worst Role Model” award?

1. Defrauds two Pharaohs (wife/sister scam)
2. Rapes, impregnates a slave girl
3. Abandons illegitimate child
4. Condemns descendants to 400 years of slavery in exchange for land
5. Attempted murder of first born son


1. Tricks brother out of birthright
2. Deceives father to steal brother’s blessing
3. Rapes, impregnates slave girl
4. Defrauds uncle out of healthier flock
5. Assaults stranger (angel)

1. Kills an Egyptian guy
2. Accessory to 10 Plagues on Egypt
3. Orders murder of 3000 Jews for idol worship
4. Murders priestly rivals
5. Commands murder/rape of neighbors


Which Biblical Patriarch is the “Worst Moral Guide”?

View Results

Comments (8)

  • avatar

    Matt Frost

    Noah, anyone who can look out from his boat and see the “rest of humanity” drown, and not help anyone else in ….. is a real douchbag.

  • avatar


    I think Moses is the worst simply because he’s the one who has committed murder MULTIPLE TIMES with his own hands. Granted he’s no standing next to some great people but hey, Moses wins hands down on the douchebag award.
    However Matt, you bring up a really good point, you’ve got to have something REALLY wrong with you to watch the rest of humanity drown without feeling an ounce of guilt or at least not acting on any impulses to save them. There’s none of this bullshit where “oh come on the boat before the rain starts” that’s acceptable. That’s the MINIMUM work you do. The maximum is knocking them unconscious if need be and dragging them on the boat. Followed by allowing people to climb on board once the rain starts.

  • avatar

    Carl Flynn

    Yeah, Matt does bring up a really good point that I hadn’t thought of, in regards to Noah. I am still going with Moses, just because of the malice behind his actions. I mean, the plagues are really horrid in their own right…..

    Then again, we’re debating between the figurative fingers that make up the hand of the most evil being ever concocted.

  • avatar

    Will Griffiths

    Abraham, the buck falls with the guy who got this party started.

  • avatar


    i say ABRAHAM is the worst. his ABRAHAM’s influence is still present ie circumcision. and he also seemed completely insane willing to murder his own child. closely followed by moses. moses seemed sane enough to scam a LOT of people. even if the bible says moses brought the plagues god is the one that did the plagues.

  • avatar

    thomas bisset

    gotta say jacob is the biggest dick face. abraham, moses and all the other chaps in my opinion were mentally ill. jacob, was a pathological liar, to get his evil way.

    he wins by a very small margin however, they are all very terrible imaginary characters.

  • avatar


    Still role models for the Jews today.

  • avatar


    Hey. This really makes me think a lot. I grew up as a Christian in a really good family no problems. However, growing up my heart’s grown a lot harder on some of these old testament books. I read them like stories in sunday school and practically know them all every single detail.
    Now I’m reading stuff like books that didn’t make it into the Bible (new testament) and I pretty much hate anyone else besides this guy Jesus. I used to read the Bible almost every other day and I don’t even feel like touching the Bible anymore. what is wrong with these people and their history with God?

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