Michele Bachmann is worried about bestiality

Remember how American elections are never about issues that are actually relevant to the health of the nation in general? Even while your economy continues to tank, politicians seem totally unconcerned that The Federal Reserve gave American banks over 7 trillion dollars with a negligible interest rate, or that the protracted War in Afghanistan and Iraq has cost them another 1.29 trillion. No, the most important thing for moronic politicians like Michele Bachmann is Congress deciding to remove an outdated military Code of Conduct that forbids uniformed officers from sodomy (that’s non vaginal sex) and fucking animals.

So naturally, everyone without a brain is up at arms that this repeal would suddenly send a message to kids that it’s ok to bang Fido. Here’s Michele’s brilliant argument as to why this issue is so important, and not at all a complete fucking distraction from shit that actually matters:

It’s absolutely abhorrent, reprehensible and you think, this is the kind of thing parents try to keep from their children because parents want to have their children enjoy innocence. Children need that latency period, they need innocence and your own government legalizes this? … Are we really going to say ho hum and laugh and go back to sleep?

I don’t think this woman knows how laws are passed. Repealing an outdated and clearly bigoted code of conduct isn’t the same as drafting legislation to make something legal. That’s alright, though: she’s only running for the highest office in the land! She doesn’t really need to learn any of this legal mumbo-jumbo, does she? Wait, what’s her current job?

Comments (6)

  • avatar


    Her current job appears to one or all of the following:
    – God-botherer.
    – Dumb bitch.
    – Crazy bitch.
    – Useless bitch.
    – Liar.

  • avatar


    Ok, I’m curious to know where you heard about this. I havent heard anything about this, but I dont pay much attention to the news these days.

  • avatar

    Jacob Fortin

    forgot to put the link. It’s up now.

  • avatar


    Lot of children who’s innocence needs protecting in the U.S. armed forces are there? Don’t worry, I’m joking! But maybe not for much longer. Because if there were, I’m pretty sure Newt Gingrich wouldn’t have a problem with that. Isn’t it a bit worrying when presidential candidates from one of the main parties come out with stuff that’s about morally equivalent to something Hitler would’ve come out with at the Nuremberg rally? Maybe I’m crazy but it really doesn’t seem like a good sign to me.

  • avatar


    Wait! Was there a big problem with officers fucking animals so they had to create or add a code of conduct that forbade it?

  • avatar


    Oh please. Mr. Hands proves nothing if not the fact that people are far more hurt by animal-screwin’ than the animals. I’d say ‘lol’ but the guys is dead so…

    I don’t partake myself but everything I’ve seen of bestiality or people (not in the porn industry) who do partake actually love them very much. I don’t think I’ve come across a single case of human-animal-lovin’ in which the animal was harmed in any way. Except for drunken idiots who are not actual zoo-people.

    Anyways… All the crap that’s going on in their country and she’s worried about the effect of bestiality on children? She does realize that now, thanks to her, more kids will find out about it a lot sooner than they may have originally, right? That’s all she’s done here.

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