Enroll at Angel University today!

Did you know that each one of us has a non-denominational guardian angel that travels with us wherever we go? These same angels will help you overcome fear, doubt, and that lingering pile of money in your bank account, all thanks to Angel University. For the low price of a thousand smackeroos, you too can become a certified angel therapist. There’s no limit to your upward mobility once you learn the secrets of tricking gullible idiots out of their money, and what better way to do so than by enrolling today? Not convinced yet? Wait until you hear these powerful testimonials!

Before sleep, I call upon Archangel Jeremiel to join my magical night travels. He ushers in the dreams needed for healing, solution, and enlightenment. He keeps lower energies out and allows entrance to those for my highest good. If needed, Archangel Azreal and Archangel Jeremiel bring in passed over loved ones to generate healing. Supporting, encouraging, protecting and guiding me, Archangel Jeremiel delivers information that benefits my life’s journey. The Archangel of life review, Jeremiel will initiate past life dreams as opportunity for harmonizing ourselves and creating positive changes.

How useful! I used to have to learn things in fancy books, but now all I plan on doing is laying down in bed and waiting for one of these Archangels fellows to bring me all the information I need for my life “journey”.

The more you can focus on what it is you are grateful for, the more you can learn to ignore those things that you are not so grateful for. By tuning out these negative areas of our lives we are taking back our power from them. We are drawing our line in the sand and letting the world know that if they want to get through our wall, the way is through happiness not anger.

Just tune out your problems rather than facing them. Hey, if you’re going to embrace magical thinking, you’ve got to incorporate some kind of denial of reality in there somewhere, am I right?

At this point it would be far safer to say that it[ the power of prayer] is proven fact, rather than mere theory that prayer can and does have an enormous positive impact on our lives. Now you may have seen the results of a couple of studies on prayer that stated there was no effect at all, or worse that it even seemed to cause harm to the person who was praying. The fact of the matter is that there is a tremendous difference between cold mechanical prayer and real, devoted and heartfelt, praying. Just as in all other areas of our lives we cannot simply go at this halfheartedly and expect dramatic results.

At Angel University, unpleasant things like facts and statistics are replaced by simple platitudes. The power of prayer found not to work? It’s because everyone in the study was a robot! If prayer didn’t work, it was obviously because the people doing the praying didn’t care enough. Silly science: when will you learn that you can’t measure intangible things like love, anger, and (more importantly) stupidity?

Comments (2)

  • avatar


    The hardest part about scamming money from idiots is realizing that yes, they will pay for it.

  • avatar


    This is just another version of The Secret, although it’s distilled a bit more simply. It could be argued that The Secret is a little more useful, because it’s not necessarily promising supernatural results; The Secret is more like the prosperity-gospel-for-liberals. This is just taking “the power of prayer” and trying to institutionalize it.

    And one wonders how much good could come if so many didn’t waste so much time…

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