Guy gets excommunicated, “handed over” to Satan

Christian Nightmares – an awesome site I recommend you subscribe to – got ahold of an excommunication letter sent to what seems like a former believer. I thought I’d share the highlights with you, as it provides an interesting perspective as to the frame of mind of true believers.

It is my sad duty to inform you that you will be excommunicated from the fellowship…of Cornerstone Reformed Church this coming Sunday.

We have repeatedly attempted to call you back to fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ, both personally and by letter. You have not responded to any of these appeals, but have steadfastly refused to listen to us and worship on a regular basis with us. As a result…the Session…is striking your name from rolls of this church.

Jesus himself tells the church to discipline those who refuse to repent of their sins and listen to him through the church [I’m guessing this is the important part here]…In obedience of his command, we are handing you over to Satan and his kingdom of darkness in hopes that you will come to your senses, repent, and then return.

In Christ’s name,
Pastor Shade [what is he, a super-villain?]

The gist here is that this guy (or girl) had disobeyed their instructions, refused to show up to their events, and as a result was “handed over” to Satan. Is he some kind of cosmic babysitter or something? I’m not surprised by your attempts to ensnare people back to your church with the threat of eternal torture, but it all seems a bit harsh for the crime of not showing up to your events and responding to a few letters, doesn’t it?

I love how it’s supposedly not Pastor Shade’s decision at all. “Jesus told me that you sucked and needed to burn in hell forever. I’m doing you a favor by telling you all of this, which is why I’m a better person than you”. This is the insanity we have to deal with on a constant basis, people: self righteous assholes who think they’re all doing us a favor by taking our money and telling us what to do. Fun times.

Comments (4)

  • avatar

    jawbone tom

    Well, well, Pastor Shade. Whatever hell you imagine is right here on earth and you evidently are in resident of the beast, in bed with him. Your ex-communciation should be like a Pardon from prison for your subject. Hooray, he or she can now join in on the warmnth of Real Brotherhood, the free thinkers and people of Inquiry; those not afraid to learn and question any and all matters of your so-called faith..or is it Hate?

    Welcome thrown out friend, you have no foes here.

  • avatar


    Oh shit, I’ve seen this before. It was on FailBlog. Good site, they called it a “Telling you what you believe fail.”. I thought it was funny and my christian father was just a little confused. I don’t think he thought it was funny.

  • avatar


    Yeah I agree it’s not up to Christians to decide who is going to heaven / hell. So Pastor Shade can’t know for sure. He doesn’t know people’s heart and where they stand with God.

    But I’m pretty sure the Bible talks about warning believer’s when they don’t repent of behaviour that’s not loving to God/others, asking them to repent twice (with a witness) and then asking them to leave the community (church).

    And I’m pretty sure asking them to leave is done as rebuke / punishment (the reason being that being a Christian without other Christians around you to encourage you is hard).

  • avatar

    Former Pastor

    Assuming this letter isn’t a haox, report the pastor to his denominational authorities and get a lawyer to send him a letter demanding an immediate apology, or you will sue for defamation. If it is a ‘reformed’ church, they will have some form of church discipline for their pastors. Suggest to the denomination that the pastor should be sent for clinical pastoral education and suggest a psychological assessment. Hold a prayer vigil on his church lawn with a sign saying, “Praying for Pastor Shade’s Soul.” Okay, I’ll stop now.

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