Ask God


Due to popular demand, God has been invited as a special guest for our next Bonus Show. Yes, the Creator of the Universe took time off his busy schedule to answer your pitiful, unworthy questions, so try and make them count!

The Bonus Show will be a freebie, so that means even if you don’t have any money, you can still tune in if you sign up.

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Comments (28)

  • avatar

    Andy Scott

    Dear God,

    Could you create a rock so big and so heavy that even you couldn’t lift it?

    Yours,

    A smug twat.

  • avatar

    Michael Vester

    What’s the deal with foreskins? You create all men with foreskins and then you want them to be surgically removed. What do you do with all those foreskins?

  • avatar

    Laura

    Dear Mr God,

    If humankind lost confidence in your ability to rule over your creation and decided to elect a deity through a democratic process, would you participate in the election and how would you sell yourself to voters.

    From Laura
    xxx

  • avatar

    Laura

    The previous question should have had a question mark. My bad. Here are a couple to make up for it. ?????????

  • avatar

    Freaked Out Friday

    Are you an Atheist or do you believe in a higher power?

  • avatar

    Mike

    Dear God,

    Do you have any idea what on-earth (in-heaven?) William Lane Craig is talking about? You must be the only intelligence in non-existence that has the slightest hope of deciphering his relentless streams of BS.

    xthxbyeamen!

    Mike

    P.S. While you’re (not) here, given that you’re omniscient, you don’t happen to know of any evidence for your own existence, do you? It’s just that, well, you’ve done such a good omnipotent job of making sure there’s absolutely no trace of any evidence that you actually exist, that it does make it quite hard (read, impossible) to believe in you. Any help you can offer would be very much appreciated!

  • avatar

    Brennan

    Dear God,

    If you are all knowing, than is there really free will or is life simply arbitrary?

  • avatar

    Brennan

    Is the the word Nigger racist when used out of racial context?

  • avatar

    Rayden Anvaller

    God I was wondering how a supreme been lives, you know, I would like to know Whats it like to be a God, do you eat, do you piss in other words describe to me whats your life like in a normal day… I would imagine you get a lot of paparazzis following you arround.

  • avatar

    Herman

    God I wanna know something why did you give me such a tiny dick, Its like a babies dick, hell my 4 year old brother has a bigger one than me…. I wanted to know this all my life now I have the opportunity,… god why.. whyyy!!!!!

  • avatar

    Jean Marie

    God why are you letting China Become the most powerful country on this planet, I mean they are highly secular or believe in something else other than yourself.. I mean that seems counter intuitive.. we all know what happened when America been the most powerful country.. everyone wanted to emulate they’re culture.

    So why are you going to let Secularism flourish?, huh?

  • avatar

    Babosa

    Dear God,

    Is it a sin if I direct my prayers as requests to my subconscious instead? I am not worshiping any other deity, so is it still permissible?

  • avatar

    Brennan

    Is America attempting to use Neo-Colonialism as a means of furthering their foreign interests in the middle east?

  • avatar

    Millhouse

    God, are you going to give any special treatments to those who bombed Oslo.. I mean do they get more virgins or what?

  • avatar

    Jessie

    Dear god,
    How could you let your followers change your word? First they pussified the new testament and now they are making it gender neutral. What’s up with that?

  • avatar

    cypher

    Dear god just where is waldo

  • avatar

    Andy Scott

    Also, what is up with Facebook’s retarded arse chat update?

    It’s bloody bollocks.

    Answer me that, old man!

  • avatar

    Android

    Dear God,
    Why did you put our anuses so close to our reproductive organs? Is infection something we need to experience to get closer to you? And why oh why do my balls have to dangle so precariously outside my body? And why design our mouths as word-processors AND food-processors making choking the 4th most common cause of death in the US?

  • avatar

    Android

    What are mosquitoes for?

  • avatar

    Poxline

    Dear God,
    Why couldn’t we all just be ponies instead? Like, unicorns and pegasus (pegasi?). Being human is dull, but if we were all, magic adorable colourful talking ponies, it’d be great! :D

  • avatar

    Brennan

    Dear god,

    Why did Harry Potter have to end?

  • avatar

    Larry the Oracle

    Dear God,

    Why did you make the universe so big man? I mean you made it just for us why do you need all this space?.. Is it an ego thing?, Do you want to impress Zeus or something?

  • avatar

    Dolph Zigglers handshake

    Who are we to question GODs works?…we have to learn our place…GOD bless you all.

  • avatar

    Roger

    Where the fuc… WTF? Where have you been? Everything is going to shit. The lunatics and zealots all relish rapture so they don’t care. Financial meltdown. Republican assholes and Democrats wimps (yeah, yeah… self-centered American). Why do you let this nonsense go on? Are you just checked out? Dude, get you act together.

    I’m beginning to think you aren’t real. Are you?

  • avatar

    Android

    Would you kindly explain how “blessings” work? I just don’t get what happens when one of your gullible followers condescendingly says “God bless you” to me. Can any of your followers give blessings in your name or do they need to be especially ordained, like the pope, before being granted this wondrous power? And do you honor all blessings or only those you approve of? And then what happens? Do I lead a charmed life? If so, how long for? An hour? A day? The rest of my life? After death? Does it mean I won’t go to hell? Or is it in fact blasphemous for people to presume to speak for you? Please clarify this, if possible, with reference to the bible so I can be sure what you say is true. Thank you, er, sir, your majesty, oh great one, or whatever form of address is most appropriate, and bless you.

  • avatar

    Larry the Oracle

    this is question is not for GOD but for the illustrious hosts, when the fuck are you planning to make the show?

  • avatar

    Brennan

    Does the tradition Passover celebrate the death of the Egyptian firstborns?

  • avatar

    Aaron

    Dear God,

    For the love of my wife and two boys, will I get better this year? I want nothing more for myself than for the safety of my family and to get better so we all can have a better day, every day. I BEG YOU to reply. Is this just another website, or can you hear me? I can’t take this anymore. I just want to get better. AM I REALLY ILL in the head? Is it true? Please answer……….please. I can’t live like this anymore.

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