God is a 12 year old boy with Aspergers

Now there’s a theory that finally makes some sense. I mean, it would certainly explain the weird and terrifyingly confusing shit that happens in the Bible. How else can you explain a God that would demand that you cook your bread using your own feces. That sounds like something a person seriously lacking in social skills would say.

Ezekiel 4:12 “And you shall eat it [as] barley cakes; and bake it using fuel of human waste in their sight.”

That’s not disgusting or anything…

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