Heaven and other similar nonsense

I love whenever people start making specific claims about their magical play-land in the sky. Did you know you’ll be able to finally drink all that wine your local mullah told you was forbidden? Good thing you never bothered to actually try the stuff when you were alive…better to wait until you’re dead to enjoy the little pleasures in life.

I think the Muslim concept of Heaven is by far the most provincial. It’s quite obvious that a group of repressed desert people made it up. The rest of us couldn’t give a rat’s ass about rivers of honey and wine that doesn’t make you drunk (what is it, Synthohol?). And if there’s no such thing as jealousy in heaven, why the fuck do you need all your women to be virgins? Sounds like some pretty serious sexual insecurity there…

Did anyone like the sexy lady who called believers “idiots”? What did you think of the religionists trying to argue that belief in God is the same as our trust in currency? Hilarious.

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Comments (14)

  • avatar

    Steven

    I quite liked the woman who called believers “idiots.” And I was highly entertained by the facial expression of the woman behind her during that moment of the clip.

  • avatar

    Luc Leblanc

    In other news today, a panel of scientists added two new superheavy elements to the periodic table. After three years of study, elements 114 and 116 are now accepted as an existing part of our universe.

    Since when any religion dared revisit their premises like chemistry does?

  • avatar

    Aridawn

    OHHHH…SNAP LUC!

  • avatar

    Aridawn

    I guess, that it’s just as rude to say that atheists are going to burn in hell for all eternity for merely looking around at the world, and taking what we see at face value, than it is to call people, who compound the natural world with supernatural, unfounded explanations about why the natural world is what it is, idiots. Sure…it may be rude…but we’re not here to be nice, we’re here to make people think about their idiocy and perhaps get over it!

  • avatar

    Aridawn

    Watching the second part…it speaks volumes that everybody claps when the bereavement counselor, essentially, recommends that denial is a perfectly acceptable way to cope with grief…

    And, like I mentioned about the Jerusalem clip, notice how they all turned on the secular chick.

    I just don’t understand how people can excuse this “it helps me cope with life” mentality when they wouldn’t/shouldn’t/couldn’t expend this same laissez-faire attitude to other parts of their life. For instance, the comment about money, I’d REALLY love to see them try that at their local Nordstrom. “I have FAITH that I have $1000 dollars to pay you…” ORRR…if they follow was Jesus said for them to do…don’t make money to feed or clothe or house yourself…have faith that god will provide for you!

    Lady…you are an idiot…deluding yourself and being proud of it almost DEFINES you as an idiot!!

  • avatar

    BlueIndependent

    Listen to the absurdity of what the Imam is saying. It’s by no means relegated to Islam, but seriously, who gives a shit about what women will be compared to in the after life? They’re hot right now. You mean to tell me these guys sit and ponder what tasty wine that doesn’t get you drunk will be like in Heaven? Literal rivers of consumable compounds? And I still need to eat and drink in Heaven? Why?

    Someone needs to take these people, look them in the eye, and say: “Seriously? You want me to worry about eternal damnation for my soul, and part of that is pondering bullsh!t like what wine that doesn’t make you drunk will be like after I die? This is why I kneel and bow to the East 5 times a day? This is why I eat unleavened crackers and sit-kneel-stand for 1+ hours a week?”

  • avatar

    Not Doppler

    I find it very interesting that a lot of the features of muslim heaven: drinking wine, seeing women’s faces, and beardless men, are all features of modern western society…

  • avatar

    HB

    What is there to say that many here aren’t already saying or thinking? The piper sings her song and animals come out to listen and follow because the tune is sweet… or not, depending on your taste in melody.

  • avatar

    BlueIndependent

    Exactly, ND, and just as the host of that program said: We have all those things he mentioned, right here, right now. But the Imam’s wires are so crossed he can’t see it. And if you challenged him on it he’d probably say if he enjoyed those things “in this life” he’d be a boozing, lecherous, law-breaking maniac.

    And he might even be right, because he’s so divorced from reality by now that he has no coping mechanisms. I listen to people like him and see a living tragedy that they think they must live their lives like that in order to be worth anything.

  • avatar

    Michelle

    I want to marry that Kate woman…

  • avatar

    Apollo

    I can’t believe that guy pulled occam’s razor out of his arse…..

    I gotta get me on a show like that. Like shooting fish in a barrel with a minigun.

    I’m a bit annoyed that there was not a secular panel member though. It’s kind of loading the question if you ask “Is there a heaven” then only invite on religionists.

    That’s like asking “should we smoke” and only inviting representatives from Marlboro, Golden Virginia and Silk Cut.

  • avatar

    Vince

    the comment about money is kinda funny because we had to invent the concept of money a long time ago in order to stop trading personal belongings. So just as money was fabricated, so was the concept of God for the purposes of premature morality.

    terrible analogy for any religious scholar to use

  • avatar

    Regina Phalange

    I am really trying to understand why a bunch of religious people are there to discuss “Is there a heaven”. Obviously they all believe in a heaven. They aren’t even discussing that. They’re all just talking about what they think heaven is and who gets in. The closest they got to the actual topic was to say “Well, whether a heaven exists or not, it sure does make people feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” Why not name the segment “What kind of heaven makes you feel all warm and fuzzy” instead? Would have been a lot more accurate.

  • avatar

    Will

    Near the end of part two (4:10-ish) “If I’m brave enough to make that leap of faith, then I’m certainly not an idiot”
    I want to turn it around on her and say “If she’s so insecure to need that leap of faith, then she’s certainly is an idiot”
    She’s building her whole sense of wellbeing on thin air … What’s going to happen to her if she (or anyone doing the same) has a crisis of faith? Building the foundations of your worldview on the premise of what sounds the most comforting for when after you die is a recipe for disaster.

    Faith is not a provenance of the brave (part2, 3:35-ish) it is the escape hatch for the willful ignorant.

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