Are your pets Rapture Ready?
Well, looks like someone finally stepped up to provide Rapture crazy nutjobs with a service they’ve been craving for: ensuring that their animals will be taken care of once Jesus beams them up into space-heaven when he annihilates the infidels.
Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is offering this service by guaranteeing their employees and volunteers are all died-in-the-wool atheists (and animal lovers, of course). That way, they can rest assured that Rex won’t be stuck all alone after magical man-god whisks them away.
If it’s successful, it’s basically a license to print money. I’d feel bad for them taking money away from gullible morons if I wasn’t so fucking jealous of their idea. It makes me want to resurrect my “Rap-Sure” insurance scam….