Calling all Hot Christian women!

Ready for the ultimate in cockteasing annoying bitches, my dear single atheist friends? Well, you can look forward to blue balls and a headache as Tamara trains an army of Christian women to date nonbelievers with the intent of converting them to their particularly idiotic religion.

Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

Are you ready for these tips, ladies? We’ll try and ignore the horrible grammar mistakes (judge not, Jacob, lest ye be judged) and focus on the core message here:

1. If he tells your that you are hot…
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand…
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer…
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you…
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you…
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you’re not ready to “speak in tongues”)

7. If he asks to come inside…
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you…
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won’t put out…
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean “Who would Jesus Do.”

10. After you dump him…
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

Can you imagine dating someone like that?

Hot Atheist Guy: “Why don’t we go back to my house for supper”
Annoying Hot Christian chick: “No thanks, Jesus was betrayed during his last supper”

Is there a tip for what happens when this hot guy you’ve been leading on catches wind of your little plan? Odds are he won’t exactly be cool with you trying to use sex to convert him…

**NOTE** If you visit the site, you might want to have some “protection”. It seems to try and download some virulent strain of software. Malicious, or simply a product of unsafe programing? Maybe these Christians need a little proper education of the dangers of unprotected internet browsing…

Comments (20)

  • avatar

    Golden Arms

    did Jesus rape anybody? cuz I could have a great comeback here

  • avatar

    Carly

    This has left me utterly speechless.

  • avatar

    Homeoquackery

    I believe Poe’s Law applies here. Unless said Tamara is a member of the Family International.

  • avatar

    Jeffrey

    Man, I am so glad to be gay right now.

  • avatar

    Riz

    When I went to this site, my virus scanner picked up a suspicious file and I noticed the site was trying to download something on to my computer.. so beware.

  • avatar

    Gladys

    Wow, can you say total skank?

  • avatar

    Luc Leblanc

    If she ask you to recognize the paternity of her unborn child,
    Tell her about the immaculate conception.

  • avatar

    HereticsAnonymous

    Poe all the way. Though I would date girls to make them atheists.

  • avatar

    Michelle

    whoring yourself in the name of jesus, that’s the spirit…

  • avatar

    Golden Arms

    Jake, you should write up a response. Date Christian chicks to convert them to atheism. It would be hilarious

  • avatar

    BlueIndependent

    Can you imagine if you were a man out with a woman, you tried to kiss her good night, and she said a kiss “killed her savior”? What quicker way is there to communicate “I’m insane” to your date?

  • avatar

    Lacey

    This has got to be a freaking joke.

  • avatar

    LeetheGirl

    Yeah, I just checked out the website. Oy the pain. I think it’s actually serious. By ‘it’ I mean the idiot chick behind the thing.

    If you look at the ‘questions and answers’ page she actually states that if a man is successfully converted then the girl has two choices; either dump him and move on to the next one (yeah, I’m sure that will help him stay faithful) or stay with him if he’s hot enough. And to send her a picture of the guy so she can judge if he’s hot enough to keep around. Can you fucking believe that?

    Thankfully she also states that she has so far failed in turning any of her conquests to ‘dog’.

  • avatar

    Belgian atheist

    That datetosave . com site attempted to give me a virus … not just a religious one.

  • avatar

    Joey3264

    holy crap… I cant stop laughing at this ^_^ it’s just too absurd
    this girls definitely off her rocker

  • avatar

    Kyle

    “4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
    Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!”

    Wait, so is she paying for dinner then? Are going to dine & dash? That doesn’t seem very Christian.

    “10. After you dump him…
    Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.”

    Dump him? How long does she expect a guy to stick around, putting up with her particular brand of crazy? I refuse to believe any dude is so desperate that he’s going to continue putting up with her nonsense after the third time she passes him a bible when he’s reached for her hand.

  • avatar

    Kris

    I can’t see anyone staying with her beyond a first date, if the date doesn’t end prematurely. Honestly, if someone compared paying for dinner to paying off a debt, I’d be ready to go home. Alone! :P

  • avatar

    kay

    ‘cockteasing annoying bitches’ – really.
    It looks like the organized atheists are as sexist as the church – how disappointing.

  • avatar

    C Conti

    She may be hot, but she ain’t hot enough.

    Kay, please. Get your head out of your ass. Don;tyou think this site is sort of appropriate for a little sexism? Are the girls there not sexist? Or is it just the guys that can be sexist and when the girls say or write the exact same thing then it’s not sexism?

    Sexism, of the brand the church professes, is despicable, but your double standard is just as annoying.

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