Pat Robertson is Hilarious
You might recall around New Years, millions of Americans were stuck in the Northeast after a huge blizzard shut down many major airports. While the explanation for bad weather is simple enough, there are those who see the machinations of God in excessive snowfall.
Pat Robertson, the wealthy TV Evangelist who has made a career out of the gullibility and credulity of Americans, has a theory as to why this crazy storm happened:
Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two.” Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area “so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur.”
In other words, people travelling to see their families were probably thinking about doing something really gay (like butt fucking, presumably), and God “punished” them by making them late by a day or two. His power is indeed great! Don’t mess with God, or he might displace your keys, make you forget your dry cleaning, and all the other minor inconveniences that make life unbearable.
If that’s not the proof you need to believe in a vengeful God, then I don’t anything will ever convince you…
NOTE: No one’s quite sure if this article is satire or not, but considering the crazy shit Pat says on a regular basis, this would be pretty milquetoast.