Cindy Jacobs is an bigot

Do you remember all those thousands of birds that dropped dead a little while ago? Scientists are still trying to figure out what happened (I’m willing to bet money it has something to do with Climate Change, but I’m no expert). While serious folks with brains are busy solving this mystery, religious nutjobs are jumping on this story as proof “God” is mad about something, and sending us a message by annihilating a bunch of innocent birds.

The craziest so far is a woman by the name of Cindy Jacobs (of the friendly sounding “Ministry of Generals“). As your typical crazy evangelical, she thinks this tragedy is because of – wait for it – teh gays!

According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman , so we have to say “what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?” Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding. And you know there are actually some patterns that you can see where a nation will make a decision that is contrary to the principles of God and after that there is some kind of answer that God gives, being the God of creation, the God who created nature, but we don’t always understand what He’s saying.

Well, there’s something interesting we have been watching – let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern? We’re going to watch and see. But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas, well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we’ve had the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.

It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.

Mystery solved, everyone! Yes, God wants the US military not to encourage gays and lesbians to serve openly, and as revenge, he slaughtered a bunch of blackbirds to teach us a lesson. If we’re not careful, other natural disasters could continue to happen.

The good news is as soon as we stop letting men fudge-pack one another, there will be no more disasters and we’ll all be living in a perfect world where everyone has the common courtesy to be miserable and hate themselves for having same sex attractions. The future looks bright, people!

(via)

Comments (6)

  • avatar

    L.Long

    Well she is right.
    In the buyBull the big plucker always liked sending messages by destroy lots of innocent animals or people that had nothing to do with the problem, so this would fit the BigPluckers pattern of operation.

  • avatar

    Thomas Everett

    Fuuny thing about this bird thing, Anderson Cooper had Kirk Carmeron on and asked him if it was a sign of the Apocalypse. Cameron told him he was no expert on this and maybe Cooper should ask a Veterinarian. When Kirk Cameron is your Voice of reason……
    Tom

  • avatar

    LeetheGirl

    I’m leaning toward the notion of bad weather mixed with New Years eve celebrations and fireworks being a factor.

    This crazy woman is also a little country-righteous to say that this must be some kind of sign since it only happened in their country.

    Similar happenings have taken place in a few other countries. One happned somewhere in China. Also, about a year ago the same thing happened near the same area in the States around the same time. Perhaps it’s along the path of blackbird migration, I don’t know.

    It’s not some sign people, we’re probably just killing thousands of poor birds with our pretty explosions in the sky.

  • avatar

    Luc Leblanc

    I have to side with the American stand-up comic Denis Leary; The Heavenly father got bigger budget than that. Killing a couple of birds is quite cheap coming from someone able to create life out of nothing, manipulate interstellar mechanics and is all powerful.

    What if, instead of just killing the birds, Gawd would have given them the ability to sing and dance? He could had made a broadway show called “I hate the Gays and you should too” with them. This would had made a bitchin’ sign to give to mankind!

  • avatar

    TheRichDarkEarth

    Why isn’t this sort of thing going on in Canada, Sweden and New Zealand where they have an open-door policy for gays in the military? Leave it to the religious right in America to be wrong *and* self-centered.

  • avatar

    AegisLinnear

    But…there’s about a hundred mass die-offs of birds every year in the US alone. What the hell does she think the sky fairy’s trying to punish? Every naughty thought by a pastor?

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