Ask God: Part Three

It’s time for another “Ask God” segment. We’ll be recording tomorrow at 6pm, so make sure to get your questions in before then!

Comments (19)

  • avatar

    Roger

    god,

    I know you’ve heard this before, but it is time I heard it from you for myself. You’ve taken credit for all the good shit. Awards, rescues, bullshit miracles, etc. Explain all the sick and wrong that you allow, if not create. It’s shocking that you skate on all that. Come on, confess – do you simply find it all amusing?

    Things are so shit these days with the super-depressed economy. You better ease up or people are going to start publicly decrying you.

  • avatar

    Jon

    Dear God,

    Why do men have nipples? What the hell? I can’t get any milk from these bad boys and believe me, I’ve TRIED! You’d better sort that shit out, homie!

    And while we’re on the subject, why did you put the male G-spot all the way back THERE, where its best reached by another man’s thick, hard, juicy cock… or in a pinch, a well-lubed fist. Doesn’t that go against all the stuff from Leviticus that makes baby Jesus cry?

  • avatar

    Razzle

    Jesus is about 1900 years late. What the fuck?

  • avatar

    Hank

    Hey God,

    If we found aliens somewhere, would they be christians?

  • avatar

    Rebo

    Are you the Christian god? I only ask because of how you respond to questions. If you’re the god of all faith-based groups, which form of worship do you enjoy the most (as in comical or hilarity) and which one do you prefer (as in most appropriate)? Which religion is the least intrusive on the lives of others?

    Love,
    Rebo the god fearing merchant

  • avatar

    kennykjc

    Why do good atheists go to hell for simply not having blind faith in you?

  • avatar

    jonathan lang

    I would like to know why its more important to keep the sabbath holy than it is to not fuck little children

  • avatar

    Chris Young

    If you were competing in an old style UFC / Pride tournament who would you fear the most? Allah sounds quite badass! And do you think you could beat Anderson Silva in the final?

  • avatar

    Michael

    Why do in utero babies grow coats of fur in a perfect 98.6 degree environment (The womb…) and then lose it before they go out into the harsher environment.

    Also, if our reduction in life span (as well as a million other supposed areas) is due to the “fall,” why did Adam and Eve live so long after? (930 years i believe Adam was supposed to have lived)

  • avatar

    MensBattlePlan

    Jon,

    Isn’t the Gspot about an inch from the entrance of the vagina? Can you not reach it with your manhood? I’d be mad at God too if my penis was that short.

    just kidding bro. i couldn’t resist.

  • avatar

    Duane

    Hey Big Guy,

    Do you believe in evolution?
    And what is your take on separation of church and state?

  • avatar

    MN_Atheist

    What was it like getting Mary preggos? Is there a side to the story that we don’t already know? I’m thinking there has to be, because it seemed pretty mysterious from what I understand…

  • avatar

    WinterApocalypse

    Hey God. What’s the action like in heaven? It seems like all the fine ladies here on Earth are probably going to hell. I’d just like to make sure that if I am going to devote myself to you I’m not going to lose out on great sex in heaven.

  • avatar

    Isaac

    Dear god,

    If I blew myself up and you gave me 72 virgins, would these be girls or guys? Can I have a mixture for a bit of variety?

  • avatar

    Shamrock

    The Marine’s Hymn states that the streets of heaven are guarded by United States Marines. I can understand wanting the baddest motherfuckers around protecting your holy realm, but does that mean if I die and go to heaven that I have to pull duty?

  • avatar

    Wolferahm

    First, why is your son made of Styrofoam bread?

    Secondly, why should I worship you instead of aqua Buddha?

  • avatar

    chocobar

    Just between us guys, you’re overcompensating for a small penis aren’t you? Common you can tell me.

  • avatar

    Rayden

    God, why do you like to “touch” and get in to “people” isn´t misses god treating you well? whats up with that??

  • avatar

    Cesar

    Is it true that Chinese and Japanese people don´t have any soul? and if true dear god why you made them this way, are they going to hell??

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