I get mail

I received this email just a few days ago from a guy named Andy, and I thought you guys would get a kick out of it:

Hello Jake I know you must get some real harsh mail concerning your fate when you die and as a follow of Christ I want to apologise for that, I want to applaud you in your decision making for at least you have given it some thought and have come to conclusion, but what I do not understand is this, why do you spend so much time talking about a God you do not believe in, if I were you and did not believe there was a God there is so much more to do than waste my time on something that does not have any meaning. But the problem is Jake you have had your encounter with the I AM and have feel that He has let you down over the death of a love one and instead of trying to find the answer why you have chosen to go to war with him, spend some serious time again Jake just listen again to what he has to say, you may be surprised at the outcome. Well I do want to send you blessings to you and your family in the name of Christ.

This is why you should never just “trust” every dumb feeling that you have Andy; I haven’t lost any loved ones, and my atheism has really nothing to do with any feelings of bitterness towards your anthropomorphic God. Perhaps you fail to understand when I make fun of “Him”, I’m not actually acknowledging the fact a God exists. If I spent my time trying to disprove the existence of demonic space Unicorns, would you also accuse me of believing in the very thing I seek to expose as mere fantasy? As for your statement I should stop wasting my time since “He” doesn’t exist, I seriously wish it were that easy, but even your barely comprehensible email is proof religion facilitates ignorance. Do you have any serious proof a 2000 year old Jew was the creator of the Universe outside your barbaric and outdated book of Bronze Age mythology?

Comments (6)

  • avatar


    The last one of these arguments I heard from anyone was a creationist preacher in the street (pretty damn rare in the UK); the novelty value was such I was really tempted to stand next to him with a sign about Leviticus naming haircuts as a capital offence.

    As it is, he had one of those Don’t Let Darwin Make A Monkey Out Of You signs, and I couldn’t resist shouting over the road ‘We’re apes, not monkeys, chump’…to which, being fair, he came back with the wittiest thing I ever heard from one of his kind: ‘Who are you calling a chump, chimp?’ – even stolen from Roger Rabbit, that was funny.

    But then I went to Minnesota this summer and the…I can only call it the drop in public intelligence among preachers was actually palpable. Did I just hit a bad spot, or is it all like that? Are there any stories of truly witty/intelligent people who are still mad enough to start making public protests like that?

  • avatar


    The email is written terribly, not that I’m a good writer, but I know when to stop a sentence. His first sentence went on forever. As you say, religion facilitates ignorance.

    Yet another example of the virus I’m, and many others, trying to educate out of society.

  • avatar


    Andy dear, if you can’t even manage basic grammar how can you possibly understand the complexities of the Universe?

  • avatar

    John D - England

    Wow Jake, I’m surprised you got to the end of that email Jake. I got bored halfway through Jake and had to go stare at a wall Jake. At least he was fairly pleasant about it Jake. I don’t understand why he said Jake at the end of every sentence Jake. It’s like some telesales person Jake. When they try to sell you a bunch of crap Jake. They try to say your name as many times as possible Jake, in order to build up some kind of a rapor Jake, but instead it just pisses you off Jake. Then you don’t buy any of their shit Jake.

    …anyway, God does exist in their heads. Jake.

  • avatar


    This whole “mad at god” meme that Christians seem to love so much is pretty annoying. I know that faux-atheist SE Cupp uses it all the time. I think it’s sort of a way to put atheists on the defensive–”Why are you so mad, you’re so angry, if you let god in your heart you’d be happy…” I’m not mad at god–can you be mad at something you don’t believe exists? I am, however, kind of mad at the mormon church. I was raised mormon and it really messed me up for a long time. I’m also mad that hey continue to influence my life by being involved in social and political issues. But I find I have no anger towards any gods, just as I’m not angry at Santa Clause or mermaids.

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