Magneto-Jesus will end your pain


If you thought the age of miracles had come mysteriously to an end, then you’ve never experienced the healing power of everyone’s favorite man-god, Jesus! Now, you might think 10 bucks is pretty steep for a flimsy copper bracelet with 2 shitty magnets on it, but then again you’ve probably never felt the “Maximum” healing power of the¬†Anointed¬†One! He died for your sins AND for you to be free of crippling joint pain, don’t ya know.

Hey, if that doesn’t sell you immediately, just close your eyes and imagine just how soothing copper really is. It’s the silk of earth’s many metals!

Spread the outrage

Comments (17)

  • avatar

    Tercero

    Outstanding.

  • avatar

    Zombie Jesus

    Jesus and naturophatic medicine, together at last!

  • avatar

    Mathieu

    With that bracelet and the Jesus Bandages my GF bought me, I’ll be invincible !

    http://no2evangelism.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/jesus-bandages-bandaids/

    I worship the small lead-painted plastic Jesus figurine that came with the bandages.

  • avatar

    J.F.Sebastian

    The funny thing is, copper might turn into verdigris, which contains poisonous acetates, sulfates, and chlorides.
    You might want to wash your hands, otherwise your healing bracelet could make you very, very sick…

  • avatar

    J.N. Hudson

    I don’t know which is more pathetic, the people whoring out Jesus to shill their shitty sham “magic bracelet”, or the plethora of idiots who will get taken in by it hook, line, and sinker.

  • avatar

    J.V. Ruiko

    or the other kind of idiot who thinks verdigris is going to form on a copper bracelet people actually wear

    maybe if you dont wash it for a couple of months

    oh i guess thats not unlikely for you

  • avatar

    The Big Blue Frog

    Fucking magnets. How do they work?

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist using that little meme.

  • avatar

    LB

    I thinks it’s time someone makes a magneto Jesus t-shirt

  • avatar

    Brewlord

    does Magneto Jesus wear the helmet from x-men

  • avatar

    L.Long

    I think this is a great idea!!
    All xtian adults with intense pain should fore-go any medical treatment and wear this bracelet instead. They will find that it will work just as well as their prayers do, and it may speed their way to be with their lord.
    Believe me HE will love you for it!

  • avatar

    Suck This Atheists

    Science is ALWAYS based on faith because you assume that logic and mathematics are true, even though they’re unprovable.

  • avatar

    Anonymous Atheist

    LOL at stupid “Suck This Atheists” troll.

    L.Long, I like your idea! ;-)

  • avatar

    Michael

    Dear Suck This Atheists,

    So you are in effect saying 1 + 1 may not necessarily equal 2? Should I believe that if I have one apple in my right hand and one apple in my left hand it’s faith, not what’s obviously right in front of my face telling me I have two apples?

    If you answered yes to my question then congratulations, you truly are as big a cunt as you’re trying to come off as.

  • avatar

    Lee(f)

    Yeeaaahhhh… no. Actually, suck it atheists, religion is based on science.

    When people first started really noticing the stars and the sun and began trying to figure out what they are some douchebags simply could not comprehend it all and pulled and answer out of their asses.

    This answer was god.

    Congrats, I just introduced you to your ancestors.

  • avatar

    waffles

    For a site called “the good atheist” this blogger is very mean spirited, from what I’ve read, especially in the Will Smith post…. I’m an atheist too, but just saying. This blog has nothing to do with goodness.

  • avatar

    Spector567

    @ Waffles would you read this blog if it was more cheerful? Probally not. People like the smack it to yaeh additude.

    Even christians should be smacking the magazine article. It’s little more than a blanant attempt to make a buck off of religion something Jesus was against. Something Athiests are even more against and willing to point out.

  • avatar

    Briana

    Is it possible to rub out pain in minutes? Sure, I encountered a 100% natural pain-relief ointment that works. It penetrates deep into the muscle tissue to repair damage to your body’s cells. Furthermore, it has zero side effects. You simply massage Rub On Relief into your skin… and watch as your pain literally dissolves into nothing over the next few minutes.Thankfully, my friend Jesse Cannone, founder of The Healthy Back Institute and legend in the back-pain industry… has come up with Rub On Relief that is both incredibly affordable and super easy to use. Even better: If you invest in Rub On Relief today: You can get your bottle of Rub On Relief for a full 50% off the normal price. <a href="http://www.info-backpain.com/RubOnRelief&quot; target="_blank" title="Order Rub On Relief Now!”>Just click here now to order yours today!

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