Ask God

We’re recording another Good Atheist podcast tonight and once again we’ll have God on the show to answer a few questions. Submit yours in the comments section below and we’ll pick the best three to ask Him.

Comments (50)

  • avatar

    withjewswelose

    Incestuous activity?

  • avatar

    Mctaffity

    How do I know which religion is the right one?

  • avatar

    Reverend Clint

    Why should I believe in the Christian God when Thor has a sweet Hammer and Zeus has awesome Lightening Bolts?

  • avatar

    Akupara

    I’m currently thinking of a question. If you are truly omniscient, what is the correct answer?

  • avatar

    Sinister

    Why are my testicles dangling in a sack between my legs? That doesn’t seem like an intelligent design.

  • avatar

    J. N. Hudson

    If you all omnipotent and omnpresent, as your followers claim then i have a question in 4 parts…

    If you can see suffering and evil, but cannot prevent it, are you impotent?

    If you can see suffering and evil, but choose not to prevent it, are you malevolent?

    If you can see suffering and evil, and are both capable and willing to prevent it, Whence cometh evil?

    If you can see suffering and evil, and are neither capable nor willing to prevent it, Why call you god?

    Bonus question: Why do your followers often tend to be such undeservedly arrogant, self righteous, holier-than-thou, morally repugnant asshats?

  • avatar

    chocobar

    Why are you ALWAYS watching me? Can’t I get a little ME time?

  • avatar

    Kevin V

    Someone 2 places above me, needs to give Epicurus some credit. For shame…..For Shame

  • avatar

    Kevin V

    God, what is a Fu*kTard really mean? and is J.N. Hudson one?

  • avatar

    Tom

    Why do you damn atheists to hell for honest unbelief, and apparently not damn charlatan believers like Jerry Falwell?

  • avatar

    Darkpassenger

    You pissed all over toilet seat again and forgot to “Magic” it away, What the fuck is up with that?

  • avatar

    Mandozilla

    I want an asnwer once and for all. Can ‘god’ microwave a potato so hot that he himself cannot touch it?

    How was mary? might be entertaining.

    Thanks so much for the recent shows, i like where you are going with this.

  • avatar

    Roxanne R

    @God, where do you get those sweet sandals? They must be awesome for summer time.

  • avatar

    Arynn

    Why are you such a flip flopper? In the Old testament you were all about sacrifice, even human scrifice. Now, no dice. Or Christmas trees, you used to forbid them and your followers think you’re A-OK with them. What gives?

  • avatar

    DrakeDarkHunter

    God, why in one of the alternate realities are you going to let Aleph kick your ass and free what remains of humanity from the iron fist of the Mesians?

    And don’t give me that whole (I forced him to be reborn over and over again only to witness armageddon and be unable to stop or do anything about it. That was an asspull and you know it.

    Alternitively, when Lucifer’s horde burned heaven to the ground, raped the virgin Mary, crucified Jesus upiside down in hell, and punched you in the face, why did you fuck up and destroy all creation? Seriously… laaaaaaame.

    (Okay nerdy esoteric references aside.)

    If you’re almighty, why do you need prayers to do anything? And why do fail so epically at everything you do if your omnipotent?

  • avatar

    Hunter

    God What’s your opinion on two girls one cup?

  • avatar

    Reverend Clint

    Mr. So Called God if you are so super awesome explain that time of the month to me? Is the Red Menace really the best you could come up with?

  • avatar

    Zombie Jesus

    @J.N. Hudson: I think we’ve done Epicurus’s logic of evil to death already.

  • avatar

    Jeff

    God,

    Why do I always pee when I poop, but don’t always poop when I pee?

    Jeff

  • avatar

    Shamrock

    An expansion of the intelligent design question – when creating humans, why did you put the sewage treatment plant right in the middle of the entertainment district?

  • avatar

    Tom

    ^Neil Degrasse Tyson fan I see!

  • avatar

    BabyJesus

    If Jesus Is Real, Will Roxanne Moddaferi Beat The Shit Out Of That Butch Bull Dyke She’s Fighting This Weekend? Or Will We Be Stuck Watching This Fugly Ploding Toughman Level Bumfight Continue Soiling The Airwaves?

  • avatar

    Michael

    Exactly why does a being that has always existed, therefore has no need for genetalia, have a gender?

  • avatar

    Michael

    Exactly why does a being that has always existed, therefore having no need for genetalia, have a gender?

  • avatar

    Ian

    Why have you made the evidence for your existence so thoroughly inconclusive? (to steal a question from Bertrand Russell).

  • avatar

    Holly

    God, do you beliieeevvee in life after love?

  • avatar

    Mctaffity

    @ Michael

    We were created in God’s image so he does indeed have a cock and balls. A much more interesting question would be what does he do with them?

  • avatar

    Shamrock

    Nicely done Tom – 2 points to Gryffyndor.

  • avatar

    Nick

    If you are all knowing and all powerful why do you consistently act like a spoilt little brat?

  • avatar

    Gauldar

    Rod,

    If your word is so infallible, why did you need a committee to dictate what went into the bible and what didn’t?

  • avatar

    Trausti

    Two cars leave at the same time. One from Baltimore and one from New York. One travels at 50mph, the other at 20mph. If they travel in a straight line, how long till they meet?

    Also, I second Mandozillas question, how was Mary? Is the a screamer? Biter? I want details.

  • avatar

    Lee(f)

    McTaffy, I don’t have the cock and/or balls. I have the much better breasts and functional nipples.

    So I guess I would have to ask where would that leave me?

    Dear non-existent sky-guy, why was a separate gender created AFTER the first when you surely must have realized the first one was not a-sexual?

  • avatar

    IAskThis

    So in the event that an Atheist dies and it turns out he or she was mistaken about Jesus being the eternal Son of the one true God and rightful judge of all humankind; what will happen to that person who has chosen to not believe?

    p.s. the answer to Ian’s and Mctaffity’s questions is “Faith” specifically, “a test of faith” in response to Ian and “the faith that’s in your heart in relation to seeking, hearing, and believing the truth” to Mctaffity. According to the Bible you need about a mustard seed sized amount of said faith in order to reap its rewards.

  • avatar

    Mctaffity

    @Lee(f)

    Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by identifying god as male, apart from he does so himself. As a middle aged man I actually have a fairly decent set of breasts myself by the way.

    @IAskThis

    Nobody “chooses” to believe anything. I am no more able to believe in a god / fairies / a flat Earth, than I am to levitate. Fat lot of good your answer is to my question too; what’s in my heart (WTF does that mean anyways?) is that there are no gods.

  • avatar

    Paul from NH

    If your eye got poked out in this life, would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?

    (if you don’t get the reference, refer to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzNzCiZwk28)

  • avatar

    Akupara

    The Platypus? Seriously, what the fuck?

  • avatar

    Razzle

    Mormonism was the right answer, wasn’t it?

  • avatar

    Lee(f)

    McTaffy: LOL, s’all good.

  • avatar

    Ajax

    Dear God,

    A religious friend of mine believes that when good people die young, it’s because “they were needed on the other side”.

    Could you please tell me what it is they are “needed” for? And why do you need them so urgently that you have to kill innocent people, taking parents away from their children, mothers away from their newborns, children away from their parents … leaving so many grieving, broken hearts? It’s enough to make one think you didn’t plan ahead, and suddenly realized “Oops! I’m going to have to bring this one back early — there’s something up here I need him/her to do right away!”

    Whatever it is you need them for in such a hurry, is it not something you could just do yourself? I mean, you are said to be omnipotent, after all. And if you simply don’t feel like using your powers to accomplish whatever “needed to be done”, is there no one else among all the countless people in heaven who could have done the job?

    I’d ask my friend what she thinks the answers to these question are, but something tells me she wouldn’t be able to provide any answers. So thanks in advance for clearing this up for me, God … hope to hear from you soon!

  • avatar

    BevansDesign

    I’ve frequently heard of Heaven as spending eternity with God. Why is that desirable? Are you really good at video games or something?

  • avatar

    Nick

    Oh hello God, it’s wonderful to meet you. What I’d like to know is where do you get your ideas from? :-)

  • avatar

    Lee(f)

    Could you pleeeeaaaase kill all of your super-religy-bitch-ass-crazy believers? They want to ‘be with’ you so much anyway. Not in a sexual way, I’m sure.

    They’re ruining my appetite.

  • avatar

    joe

    With the economy in the toilet can you set me up with a religious web site so I can cash in on all this christian fervor. I will be happy to send you a ten percent commission. I would give it to my local priest but he would probably spend it on kiddy porn.

  • avatar

    Harold

    Do miracle’s violate the Law of Conservation of Linear Momentum or the Law of Conservation of Energy?

  • avatar

    Harry

    When the flood happened and you did that sweet trick with the layering of the sediments and the whole transformation of the foundations of the earth into what they are today, how exactly did you do it?

    For some reason there are all these wacky creationists with terrible evidence saying it was all the floodwater and the sinking of animals then the movement of the sediments to make it all as it is. To me, that sounds like a lot more work then just *Poof*ing the whole earth in the middle of the night to exactly as it is.

    Did you really go through all that business or are these foolish creationists just missing the miracle you did and wrongfully accusing you of being a banal God?

  • avatar

    Swenson

    Why do you hate amputees?

  • avatar

    Jesse

    Dear God, I have a few questions. If you are so powerful, why can’t you kill Allah,and get rid of all this Islamic nonsense ? When you killed all those innocent children during the great flood,was it mercy killing,or do you just hate kids in general ? Do you think it is right to murder people that don’t agree,worship or believe in you ? What’s up with that ?

  • avatar

    Lorna

    Hey Jesse , you’ve got the truth by the balls. There is a God. We build temples on most every street corner to worship this God. We call these temples ” Banks “

  • avatar

    Jesse

    Yes Lorna !$$$$$$$$ We all need that God $$$$$$$$$$ That is why we get up every morning ,and drag our asses off to work. I love my God $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  • avatar

    Matthew Elledge

    Hey God. How are you? I’ve noticed that you haven’t struck anyone down lately. Are you just in a slump? If you having trouble selecting ones worthy of your reckoning, may I make a suggestion? These tandem bike-riding Mormons are pissing me off. How do you feel about them?

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