Christians are inadvertently hilarious

If you’re a regular to the site, you’re bound to have read an article I wrote a while ago called “10 reasons why Superman is better than Jesus”, my tongue-in-cheek comparison of these two fictional characters. This article still receives a lot of traffic, not to mention endless comments about how I’m supposed to believe there really was a historical Jesus (if you want to read a great article explaining just how weak his historicity is, go here).

The latest bruhaha to come from this article is a Facebook page that tries to “break down” my arguments systematically to attempt and prove Jesus is in fact superior to Superman. I don’t think I need to mention just how hilarious/ridiculous this is, but here are some of the best “quotes”:

3.Jesus may have died for your sins, but Superman died to protect us from an intergalactic killing machine called Doomsday

Refute Argument # 3:

Dying in sin is worst than facing Doomsday. He can kill people but he cannot kill souls which are immortal. Jesus’ mission is to save us all from our sins so that we may also have eternal life and be with God forever in heaven.

I’m curious about this one: how exactly is “dying in sin” worst than facing an unstoppable killing machine intent on destroying all life it sees? Christians love throwing around the story Jesus got the shit beaten out of him to show the “weightiness” of his sacrifice, but there are tons of people on earth who have more than a “bad weekend”, suffering their whole lives in agony before perishing.

Anyways, the rest of the article is pretty hilarious, and I feel almost honored some delusional fool spent his time trying to refute a comedy article. It’s fucking hilarious.

Comments (13)

  • avatar

    Kat

    “And yes, Jesus can fly.”

  • avatar

    Marley Marl

    this is a good comment “Jesus is real and Superman is a product of someone’s imagination.” Lol

  • avatar

    Mctaffity

    Jesus’ crucifixtion was no sacrifice at all. He was as right as rain three days later and became the second most important person in the universe as a reward. He was also a “perfect” grown man who had prepared himself for his fate. Always thought the bible missed a trick here by bringing him back from the dead, far better to have said “that was the end of him” – now that’s what I call a sacrifice.

    Of course, countless people have suffered much more than Jesus for some pretty pointless reasons, many have also made true sacrifices for the benefit of us all.

  • avatar

    Eric

    I felt like replying to his “arguments”. They all have the exact same basis: Jesus can do anything and is all good, and I don’t need evidence to support it.”

  • avatar

    Razzle

    Just because lots of Jesus’s life was myth doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a real person at the core, whose life got seriously embellished.

    The idea that Christians would make up stories about a guy who said the world was right about to end, virtually any day now -(Jesus, if he did say this, said it around 30 ce), 35 years after Jesus’s death such as in Mark – 55 years in Luke and Matt is laughable. Hell, In John they changed Jesus’s main focus – so that he no longer did say this ( because they realized the prediction was wrong). By revelation, they had made an apologetic that 1 day = 1000 years. Imo, they weren’t all inventing stories about a guy making a bad prediciton in the eariler works, they were trying to cover the bad predictions up / ignore them.

    Also, to make a claim that a close personal follower of Jesus betrayed him, passes any kind of historical light we can shine on it, it’s multiplely attested, flies in the face of what christians would want to portray and makes sense in context.

    Finally, the claim that he was crucified, which no Jew expected of the Messiah, all that flies in the face of Jesus being an entirely fictional character

    ” Always thought the bible missed a trick here by bringing him back from the dead”

    This was to show that 1. Jesus was good with God and 2. The beggining of the end was coming – The expectation was that Jesus was the 1st to be resurrected and judged and now they were living in the time when others would also be resurrected and judged. That didn’t actually happen.

  • avatar

    Lee(f)

    Hee hee, I loved the Superman article. Not the biggest DC fan, but still awesome.

    I’m sure you’ve likely seem the poster comparing jesus and santa claus?

  • avatar

    Eric

    The guy is censoring comments from atheists. Just goes to show how far theists will go to spread their crap… he doesn’t even care to reply. Just presses the delete button.

    @Razzle: Perhaps his life was based on some guy, yeah. But there’s definitely no proof of a messiah curing people and resurrecting from the dead.

    Still, finding out the Jesus was just a guy who preached of good is not sufficient to call him a messiah, and would still be effective in ruining the Christian doctrine.

  • avatar

    Eric

    Darn, he deleted the entire post. I guess he knows when to quit.

    I should have taken a screenshot of the page for future reference of this blog post.

  • avatar

    Hunter

    Post Deleted. Shit.

  • avatar

    Reverend Clint

    i always thought that since Jesus died for our sins… why do we have to worry about them at all? Isn’t it like a get out of jail free card when it comes to fucking hot chicks and doing massive amounts of blow/hording gold?

    plus Jesus died really quickly compared to many other forms of slow execution like the stake through the ass in up through the body Vlad the Impaler was known for.

  • avatar

    Razzle

    Crucifixion was apparently a nasty way to die. Some supposedly died from suffication, or even worse – dehydration.

    Not all gospels think that Jesus’s death alone makes us “right with God”. Luke for example, preached that Jesus’s death was a tradegy that should demonstrate everyones’ need to repent in light of us killing the messiah and that our repentenance of sin would give us a right standing before God.

    Yours in the anti-christ-

  • avatar

    Shamrock

    Given the choice between the two fictional characters, I’ll take Superman everyday and twice on Sundays. Superman doesn’t ask for anything in return.

  • avatar

    Trausti

    Bitch removed his post, as commentators have noted. Shame, I´d have loved to laugh at that.

    Just goes to show how confident some believers are when discussing their beliefs. He must have gotten jittery when he realized he wasn´t just preaching to the choir.

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