Touchdown Jesus hit by lightning, burns to the ground

It’s a miracle! The One True God has finally revealed himself to us, and has decided to show his complete disapproval of idolatry by burning the effigy of some 2000 year old Jewish hippie with his Zeus lightning. It’s clear from this random disaster that “He” would much prefer his proper form to be represented by a thin, partially charred stick figure. Truly his form is both magnificent and thankfully easy to draw!

Oh shit, apparently they’re rebuilding that Jesus monstrosity this summer. Do they not see the writing on the wall? If I believed that natural disasters were the result of an anthropomorphic deity’s anxieties, would it not be normal to conclude that perhaps remaking this gaudy eye-sore isn’t entirely wise? Hey, here’s an idea: make the next version fireproof!

Comments (14)

  • avatar

    Reverend Clint

    maybe they will make it out of asbestos and many more of their followers will be able to meet jesus at a quicker rate.

  • avatar

    Zomnificent

    I was laughing all day because of this story. It’s about 20 minutes away from my house.

  • avatar

    KM

    i’m waiting for the nutters to post photos of the fire that show the virgin mary in the flames. . . you know that there are people scouring video frame by frame at this very moment for a SIGN!

  • avatar

    Ian

    It’s a sign! Is god having a bit of a disagreement with his boy? Maybe this a sign that Thor is back from retirement and he’s ready to kick ass!? Maybe nothing “divine” happened and, as a good flammable conductor of electricity, it was just “naturally selected” (Oh, the irony!). Above all, it’s probably a sign that having spent $250,000 on a stature you should ensure the budget covered good lighting conductors.

  • avatar

    denevers

    Wonder if this ugly thing was insured. I’d like to see the insurer telling them it’s an “Act of God”.

  • avatar

    keeyop

    hoped you’d cover this one!

    best quote on radio coverage was church rep [on rebuilding Touchdown Jesus], “…like the Terminator said, “I’ll be back”".

    lotsa laughs here:
    http://jeeebus.wordpress.com/

  • avatar

    Daniel

    What’d they make that fuckin thing out of anyway? Paper mache? hehe

  • avatar

    Darkpassenger

    All I have to say is “HAaaa Haa”

  • avatar

    Isaac

    I think it’s clear what the lesson is here:

    Don’t piss of Thor, the one TRUE god(.)

  • avatar

    murano chandeliers

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  • avatar

    The Kind Diet Recipes Alicia Silverstone

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  • avatar

    Dan

    Drove by touchdown Jesus today on my way to the Cincinnati Museum to see the Cleopatra exhibit. For a statue they are rebuilding, there sure isn’t anything there. Hopefully it means they failed to raise the funs.

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