Stephen Baldwin is the new Job

If you recall the story of Job in the Bible, the Devil wagers that the wealthiest and most pious of God’s servants, Job, is only loyal because of all the material comfort and success he’s enjoyed. To prove the Devil wrong, God allows the Prince of Darkness to kill his entire family, destroy his livestock, burn down his house, and finally give him a bunch of disgusting boils all over his body. Job stays loyal and doesn’t curse God (although he laments ever being born; a clear sign he’s not too impressed by all these shenanigans). As a reward for his loyalty, his riches are restored through his friends (hey, doesn’t that just mean he was helped by humans rather than this sky-gambler?), and presumably, he finds another hot wife or something.

Well, Stephen Baldwin is broke, and he can’t help but see a parallel between himself and this Biblical character; so much so he’s actually created a website asking Christians to “restore him” the same way Job’s wealth was restored. In his video, he claims he’s lost countless job opportunities because of his openness regarding his faith. I guess the 23 films and TV shows he’s appeared in since his conversion all paid shit, because he’s had to file for Bankruptcy, and he wants his pious Christian buddies to bail him out.

The fact of the matter is Stephen owes 2 million in back taxes, and it looks like he’s simply not making enough bread to pay it all back. How does anyone end up owing that much money to the government? Details are pretty sketchy, but my guess is like millions of Americans, Stevie was simply living over his actual means, and now he’s using a Biblical parallel to try and sucker a bunch of people into giving him a crap-ton of cash:

What if 10% of the 159 million Christians in America gave a Token Gift? What if 10% of the world’s 2 billion Christians gave a token gift? What would the media have to say about such an event?

I guess if you’re going to dream, do it big! Stephen doesn’t just want to pay off his debt; he wants his wealth restored, and then some! Well Stephen, I think you’ll find your favorite guy in the world, Jesus, told his followers to abandon their wealth, their jobs, and even their loved ones in order to follow him into the kingdom of heaven. Is there no greater way to show your piety than by embracing your new found poverty? Is that not your true test of faith? Begging for money doesn’t sound very Christian…oh wait, yes it does!

Comments (17)

  • avatar

    December Chaos

    This is completely ridiculous. I went to the website and watched their “endorsement” videos and all I have to say is wow… Stephen Baldwin is a famous actor, and also has famous brothers. If he owes so much money, why go to the public when his family makes millions.

  • avatar

    SpectrumRed

    Are they serious, I watched the video thinking ‘this has to be a joke right? restore Stephen Baldwin! must be a joke.’

  • avatar

    December Chaos

    As well, why should the public feel responsible for helping him get back on his feet just because he is christian? Aren’t his brothers famous actors as well who could help him out? What about the fact that all his money in the first place comes from the public? If it wasn’t for people wanting to see the movies he has starred in, he would be no where to begin with.

  • avatar

    Lukas

    Dude. Get a Job.

  • avatar

    L.Long

    This dud makes tons of money then throws it away on a lavish live style he cant maintain.
    pluck’em!!! find a cardboard box in some ally and be happy!!!!

  • avatar

    Charlie

    Bio Dome 2

    make it happen, Stephen.

  • avatar

    Richard

    Shouldn’t we wait for his family to be killed first? If he’s like Job, then surely its not until then that people should donate.

  • avatar

    alastair

    i thought this was a joke first! lol, such bull

  • avatar

    professional name badges

    Enjoyed the Videos post. This blog was worth bookmarking but this is going on Delicious now!

  • avatar

    Good Reason

    I thought his ‘restoration’ was going to have something to do with foreskin.

    Colour me disappointed.

  • avatar

    Hannah

    This has to be a joke.
    Do people actually believe this shit?
    Stephen dug himself into this hole. He can get himself out.

    Besides, the story of Job is an awful one. Do Christians not have a problem with God making bets with the Devil?

  • avatar

    benoit35@excite.com

    Righteous my ass. Job would have NEVER made an abomination like Slap Shot II.

  • avatar

    Chasidy Fileds

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  • avatar

    Coy Ragain

    Finally a smart blogger…I love how you’re thinking and writing!

  • avatar

    Clement Tschache

    viola… appreciate you for posting about this. You make me happy today… :)

  • avatar

    Fay Schonack

    Good info ! i just know that .. Thanks ..

  • avatar

    Streaming

    friendly post, great blog, keep up the posts!

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