Christ-like Cruisin’

I generally dislike most hip-hop and R&B (except for my man Greydon Square), but this has to be the worst Christian music I’ve heard in a long while. Like most Jesus-junk, this testament to terrible is a reminder of the general skill level of believing musicians. Feel like making money writing music but lack the raw talent to make it big? Try Christian music instead! No one will tire of your off-key poorly produced record so long as you jerk off your music to lyrics that inspire acid redux in non-believers.

What exactly is “Christ-like cruising” anyways? Does it involve driving around in an overpriced neon monstrosity, while blaring terrible music that shakes people’s houses like they’re on the San Andreas Fault Line?  I guess that’s what cruising around like Jesus is all about; annoying the shit out of nonbelievers who simply want to enjoy their breakfast in peace on a sunny Saturday morning.
(props to God is Pretend for the find)

Comments (13)

  • avatar

    Ethan Grothues

    This is like…the epitome of horrible musi…no…sound; horrible sound. Christian ‘sound’ is a disgrace to the art of music everywhere; take your Jesus out of you ass–and your attempt at music–and actually aspire to create something meaningful! Oh my Science, it’s like they’re fucking five, banging away on kitchen pans!

  • avatar

    james

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,,,, uuuummmm
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA”’(breath)
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

  • avatar

    alastair

    that was sooo terrible i couldnt watch past min, then i realized why waste my time on eating shit

  • avatar

    Brennan

    he’s no Bob Dylan

  • avatar

    O'Leary

    Funniest use of autotune ever!

  • avatar

    Rasmus

    Funny, I listen to mostly christian metal/hardcore JUST BECAUSE it’s SO much better than regular metal/hardcore, for the most part (It probably doesn’t REALLY have anything to do with the fact that they are christian… or, well… I don’t know). But regardless, that clearly doesn’t apply to Christian hip hop, that was pretty horrible… :P

  • avatar

    Tercero

    OMFG plz kill him!

  • avatar

    Gauldar

    Rasmus, can you post some band names so that I could find some songs and listen to them? The main stream Christian rock bands today that I’ve listened seem to suck hard compaired to the classic ones like Stryper & Kansas.

  • avatar

    Crust-Like Crusin

    nothing communicates a message like inconsiderate conspicuous consumption… ugh. B-Shoc = misguided scum.

    @Gauldar, Rasmus- sucking “compared to Stryper” is some family-sized sucking. I’d recommend [from various past metallic genres]:

    Slayer, Iron Maiden, Amebix, Rammstein, Neurosis, Reagan Youth, Toxic Reasons, Young Livers (hardcore)…

    All vary in speed/production/HC influence, etc. One or more will probably be worthy, give them each a try.

  • avatar

    Michael

    Inspired by this video, I have formulated Michael’s Law. It is as such:

    The talent posessed by the artist is inversely proportional to the amount of time that autotuning is used.

    or:

    T(t)=k/t;

  • avatar

    makenzie

    This song rocks, and why yall dissing?

  • avatar

    vitamin b complex

    Excellent blog! I genuinely love how it is easy on my eyes and the info are well written. I am wondering how I can be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which must do the trick! Have a nice day!

  • avatar

    Mary

    A good athiest doesn’t need to bash, criticize, or tell faultfinding lies about Christians. Christians generally don’t drive Neon SRT-4s, They also don’t blast their music as loud as athiests do. Why don’t we pain in the butt, selfish, and miserable athiests just crucify Christians like they do in Iran, China, and other countries? That’s what we did to Jesus. Are athiests jealous because they somehow can’t intellecturally or emotionally grasp Jesus, the Bible, and Christianity? I’m sure that Christ-Like cruising means that people show respect and unselfishness toward their fellow man while driving. Leave the Chrisitans alone!

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