What religious “logic” looks like

I absolutely love whenever desperate Christians try and argue their superstitious beliefs somehow correspond to objective reality. These exercises in futility reminds us why there is a profound incompatibility between truth and religious faith.

This article here is a good example of the mental gymnastics religionists have to go through to prove their beliefs weren’t simply conjured out of nowhere by a small desert tribe. The author of this piece describes 5 main reasons why the Bible and Jesus must be true, and as you might have guessed, they’re all fucking hilarious (especially #5):

1) Experimental science arose in Christian Europe and nowhere else on earth. It is painfully ironic that secularists use the findings of experimental science to base their misguided attacks against the Christian faith.

I guess the early Greeks like Democritus and Archimedes don’t count, since they were filthy sodomites. If many of the early scientists were Christians, that has more to do with the fact there wasn’t much choice in the matter. We live in a unique time in history where in much of the western world, one is allowed to reject religious doctrine without suffering torture and death at the hands of the faithful.

2) Where Christianity has become the dominant religion, radical changes for better social justice have occurred. When Rome under Constantine adopted Christianity they immediately reformed the prisons to keep female inmates separate from male inmates.

Improved social justice is the result of our growing ethical understanding as a society, not religious indoctrination. Look no further than Africa for proof Christianity has not improved the lot of its citizens. In Uganda, their proposed “kill the gays” bill isn’t exactly a stellar achievement in social justice.

3) The Bible contains predictive prophecies that were fulfilled in history and some are being fulfilled in our own time.

What prophecies are being fulfilled now? Is he referring to Revelations? Does he think any major historical events can be described through the Bible? Does he also consider the New Testament a fulfillment of prophecy? Pretty sure the Jewish messiah was supposed to create the state of Israel. Jesus got his ass kicked and is a complete no-show (I also love how in the Bible, Jesus does things specifically to fulfill prophecy. Isn’t it nice to know what to do beforehand?).

4) Miracles performed in the name of Jesus prove the Bible true. The many examples of miracles that Jesus performed are too numerous to mention here. These miracles gave witness to the fact that Jesus is the promised Messiah of Israel.

If by proof, you mean a story written by people who never actually met Jesus, and who wrote their gospels decades after his supposed death, then perhaps it’s time you re-examine the definition of the word.

5) UFO abductions have been stopped in the name of Jesus.

I’m not making this one up; this guy really does believe that Jesus stops UFOs. I’m not going to ruin the surprise explanation for this one. You’ll need to go read it yourself.

There you have it folks! If you can’t instantly convert, well, there’s gotta be something totally wrong with you! These are all so compelling, I think I’ll have to quit this atheism thing and retire to a life of sex and leisure. The hours just seem better to me…

Comments (7)

  • avatar

    Pete Knight

    Thanks, I nearly pissed myself after reading that!

    It’s the same old circular reasoning. God must exist, because it says so in the bible, and the bible is the truth because it is the word of the lord.

    OK, on that basis; I am a millionaire, because I just said so at the beginning of this sentence, and this sentence is the truth because I wrote it. Do you think I can get that past the bank?

  • avatar

    shaun mcneil

    #1 – What does it matter? Christians I find are really obsessed with the ‘originator, creator, source” of an idea. Does who came up with an idea really make it any better? Does the social status of the individual who ‘invented’ rape determine the wrong/right bad/good aspects of the act, or the act itself?

    #2 – Considering women unworthy to be housed with men is such an improvement over equal rights that was there before the segregation of women from men.

    #3 – This is my all time favorite part of Christianity. The SACRED virgin birth. The prophesies of Jesus’ linage (from Adam to David)- apart from not being accurate or needing 50+ pages to explain is completely irrelevant. If Jesus was born of a virgin, non of the linage of “they seed” or “from the bowls” matters at all. If Jesus was born of a virgin, which Christians claim He was, then by that ‘fact’ the linage of Jesus’ history aka Family tree not only does not matter but is inaccurate – rendering the prophesies inaccurate. So much for them coming true…but I digress…

    #4 – I am reminded of that other guy who could walk through walls – I am sure a story about something makes it true, Jack really did break his crown while climbing up the bean stalk, and lost the race against Paul Bunons blue Ox

    #5 – You can not argue with these people – Aliens do exist? Patty cakes was right about Haiti shaking hands with the devil etc.

    However, #5 did lead me to that link and there is another story of “Church of Sweden celebrates 50 years of ordained female priests”

    I love that Sweden – the highest % Atheist country is the one with a history of letting women be racist bigots, I mean priests.

    @Pete Knight – I f*n hate reality! I wish I could just make up my own life with a pen and paper like the ultra-realistic movie from Adam Sandler “Bedtime Stories”

  • avatar

    Homer J. Simpson

    mmm, “dessert tribe”…

  • avatar

    Jessica Jones

    Am I the only one that saw/read 6 and 7 where he’s downing probability and how old the earth is? They are great. You shouldn’t miss out. 🙂

    6) The secular alternative to Christianity appears to be irrational. A document called the Humanist Manifesto signed by prominent secularists in 1933 says there are no moral absolutes. Secularism provides no basis for morality.

    Postmodernism is the embrace of moral relativism. Secularism has no real basis for purpose or meaning of life.

    Secularists claim that death brings the cessation of consciousness. This has led to the radical philosophical pessimism of Jean Paul Sartre and Albert Camus. Sartre said that a human being is “a useless passion.”

    About 90% of America’s schoolkids attend public schools where evolution with its implicit atheism is taught. This has caused a secularization of American society. The situation in Europe is similar.

    Western civilization is largely secularized. Secularism is a faith.

    Secularism is faith in the ability of random collisions of atoms to form complex molecules that then collide and randomly form just the right proteins, DNA, RNA and every other biochemical and then coalesce to form a living cell and then multicellular life and then intelligent life.

    Mathematicians who run probability analyses of the above scenario tell us that for random collisions of atoms to form the proteins necessary for a living cell could not happen randomly in a trillion years if all the universe were primordial soup! Secularism is belief (faith) that this could happen contrary to the plain facts of science.

    7) There is increasing scientific evidence showing that the earth is much younger than secularists claim. The recent find of dried blood and other soft tissue remnants in dinosaur bones shows that these bones cannot possibly be millions of years old as traditionally claimed.

    The decay of the earth’s magnetic field occurs at a distinct measurable rate with no practical means of replenishment. This means that if the earth were millions of years old it’s magnetic field would have dissipated eons ago.

    Scientists now know the rate at which salt and other minerals accumulate in the oceans. If the earth were even one million years old the oceans would be super saturated with salt and other minerals. The oceans are in fact nowhere near the saturation point.

    The earth is young. (See http://www.answersingenesis.org.) The Bible’s timeline of an earth merely thousands of years old is accurate. The Bible can be trusted as a historical document and can be trusted for moral and spiritual guidance as well.

    Christianity is a reasonable faith based on reasonable evidence. Christianity’s rationality is in contrast to the secular, evolution based faith that is now imposing its culture of death. I urge you to make a decision for Christ today!

    We put our faith in Jesus Christ who died for our sins. God sent Jesus to suffer the penalty that we deserved for our sins. We receive forgiveness when we turn to God through Christ and ask for forgiveness of sins.

  • avatar


    great to have you back posting quality shit!! thanks

  • avatar

    J. N. Hudson

    You should checkout the article on the same site “Non-christian Reasons for Rejecting Evolution Education” where they sum up the aforementioned “non-christian” reasons by citing the Bible. The site it’s proving to be a goldmine for FSTDT quotes.

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