Have you ever lied for sex? Perhaps in a way, we all have to some degree; after all, when you want to sleep with someone you’re usually on your best behavior, and you’re probably look, smell and dress a lot better than you normally do. And ladies, don’t get me started about all the things you do to make yourselves sexier; the push-up bra is just a subtle form of deceit I tells ya!

There are those that can stoop to historic lows, like this guy in Israel, who told women that his semen had magical healing properties. So effective was his lying (well, until the ladies got wise to the scheme) that he even got them to PAY him money to sleep with him. If you’re thinking of using this guy’s play-book, you might want to avoid doing it in the “holy land”; he’s been arrested and thrown in jail for 10 years for the crime of tricking dumb bitches into sex.

Aharon, who was arrested last August, “over many years presented himself as a righteous man, as a saint with healing powers, who exploited the naivity of women and teenage girls, while carrying out appalling sexual acts and obtaining large sums of money by fraud,” the Israeli Justice Ministry said in a statement.

Now I don’t want to condone his actions, but I have to wonder what exactly these women were thinking in the first place. Does religion really make you this vulnerable/stupid? If so, I think we should jail ANYONE who takes money from desperate and lonely people for their own personal gain. Catholic Church, I’m looking in your direction.

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A fan of the site (they exists apparently) sent me a link to this webcomic, Calamities of Nature,  and I thought that some of them had some pretty genuinely funny and interesting points to make about religion, the Pope, and creationism. I feel as though the character of Aaron has a lot in common with little old me. I just have to ask one question though: where the fuck are his eyes?

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It’s not enough to have women dressed in suffocating black shower curtains, or to have them be submissive, silent and obedient towards men. Now, the Iranian government want to enforce a stricter dress code, and has threatened to arrest any women that tan their bodies or try and make themselves look more attractive. The government has been trying to scare its population into thinking that the very fabric of their society is falling apart due to the evil influence of the West. No doubt this tactic is designed to make everyone in the country forget that they are living in a corrupt, tyrannical theocracy.

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More pedophile priests are being exposed an an almost daily basis it seems, and from the look of things, I doubt we’re finished having to read about the terrible deeds of these sick fucks. Today’s pederast is Father Roger Vangheluwe, the Bishop of Bruges in Belgium, who stepped down recently after a commission was set up to investigate priestly abuse received a letter regarding offenses he had committed years ago.

Over the past decades, I asked for the forgiveness of him and his family,” added Mr Vangheluwe. “But the media storm of the past few weeks only reinforced his trauma. It was not tenable any more. I regret what I did and offer my most sincere apologies to the victim, his family, all the Catholic community and society.”

If you’re wondering why this pederast piece of shit isn’t in jail, it’s because the statute of limitation ran out some time ago, so he’s free to enjoy his life without having to worry about paying for his crimes. Instead of justice, his victim gets an apology, which sounds about as awesome as getting a “Cleveland steamer” from a homeless guy on your birthday.

Just another priest who will get to live out his days free from prosecution for his crimes, all thanks to Ratzinger’s informative memo that left specific instructions that priests should not discuss any abuse with police until specifically 10 years after their 18th birthday. Of course, that had nothing to do with a systematic cover-up to protect pedophile at the highest levels of power, right?

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Man, I’m so sick of the search for what is essentially an ancient allegory about redemption; the story of Noah’s Ark isn’t supposed to be taken literally, but that hasn’t stopped people from trying to find the supposed location somewhere on Mt. Ararat. We know there was no global flood (there’s just not enough water for that to happen), and that the distribution of animals around the world is a product of the the Continents separating from Pangaea roughly 250 million years ago . It was not the result of a 900 year old drunk and his incestuous family “saving” all the animals from God’s wrath. The fact that anyone would entertain this story as reality demonstrates a rigidity of thinking and ignorance that can only come from religious faith.

The latest annoying “find” of Noah’s Ark comes from a Chinese filmmaker, who claims to be 99% sure that he’s found remains of the ship on Mount Ararat. Here’s a passage from their website:

Historical accounts dating back more than 2,000 years maintain that ‘Noah’s Ark came to rest in the mountains of Ararat after the Great Flood’. The same records can be found in the Bible and the Koran. In the local region, a saying passed down through the generations goes: ‘There is an ancient boat on the mountain’

So these historical records, are there any outside the Bible or the Koran, which is basically just a plagiarized version of the Old and New Testament? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

This hasn’t stopped these clowns from proclaiming with 99% certainty that the wood they found must have definitely come from Noah’s Ark (sounds like they are rigorous scientists, doesn’t it?) There’s already mounting evidence that the entire thing is a hoax, perpetrated by a bunch of creationists to make their religion seem a little more plausible.

To make a long story short: this is all reported to be a fake. The photos were reputed to have been taken off site near the Black Sea, but the film footage the Chinese now have was shot on location on Mt. Ararat. In the late summer of 2008 ten Kurdish workers hired by Parasut, the guide used by the Chinese, are said to have planted large wood beams taken from an old structure in the Black Sea area (where the photos were originally taken) at the Mt. Ararat site.

Wow, I’m so surprised that all of this was total bullshit, and that moronic news organizations like Fox News and the National Post were tricked into thinking it was real (both organizations who cater to religious conservatives)! Guys, try doing a little research before posting a story. You’re making bullshit blogs like mine look almost professional by comparison.

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