Repent Amarillo, before you get blown to holy bits!

If you’ve got a giant hard-on for Jesus and the military, you need to check out “Repent Amarillo”, a fundy Christian site that tries to look like an Army recruitment video, specifically because this image is attractive to them. As far as they are concerned, there’s a spiritual war going on, and they intend to fight it with full army gear. It’s a site that’s not welcoming to everyone. If you’re a pussy moderate Christian, you should know better than to question the word of the Lord!

While some of them support our efforts, and some may not, it is not about us and it is not about them. It is about Jesus Christ.

Not satisfied by just staying home and clutching their Bibles, these guys are taking on extra-curricular activities to help spread the word of the Lord your God (for is ruling over your life with an iron first not the most loving expression a deity can have over his monkey slaves?). Here’s a list of events they have dedicated themselves to crashing for the good of your eternal life:

1. Gay pride events. (Jesus hates gays, even more than he hates Fig trees)
2. Earth worship events such as “Earth Day” (apparently Jesus hates hippies)
3. Pro-abortion events or places such as Planned Parenthood
4. Breast cancer events such as “Race for the Cure” to illuminate the link between abortion and breast cancer. (Their “scientists” must also be wearing a lot of camo in the lab looking for that spurious link)
5. Opening day of public schools to reach out to students.
6. Spring break events.
7. Demonically based concerts. (I don’t know about your music, but how much of it is “demonically based”)
8. Halloween events. (Are they joyless?)
9. Other events that may arise the ministry feels called to confront. (Nothing spells comfort like crazy fundies in full army gear and guns, don’t you agree?)

They want to try and save our souls so we don’t go to hell, but is this accomplished at the end of a bayonet? I guess in their twisted world view, if they can’t save you from Hell, they’ll try their best to send you there pronto.

Comments (7)

  • avatar


    I heard about these guys. There have been a few incidents where they’ve lurked around swingers’ clubs, harassing the patrons and even going as far as writing down license plate numbers, looking up information about the patrons and publicly ‘shaming’ them. What a bunch of assholes.

    And to paraphrase Bart Simpson, all of the best bands are affiliated with Satan!

  • avatar

    Infinite Monkey

    I’m glad someone is finally taking a stand and getting rid of all the joy in life.

  • avatar


    Its time we push back folks cause they are not giving up anytime soon. If we do nothing they will take over and our country is going to plunge into a dark ages that will truly bring hell on earth.

    These fuckers are not content with live and let live. They are convinced that only they have the truth. That is the beginnings of a dictatorship. People love this kind of shit because the general public does not like ambiguity and these fuckers come along and say “we know the truth and we will tell it like it is”. They are a powderkeg waiting to explode. I’m just saying.

  • avatar

    JM Black

    “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. (The sinners are much more fun.)” Billy Joel

    If folks like this really do represent “righteous” living (which I doubt), then I’ll be all too happy to ride AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell.” And I’ll be listening to “demonic music” the whole way there.

  • avatar

    Duke York

    I love the article! We need to keep an eye on this sort of thing. This is exactly how the Taliban got started in Afghanistan. We here in America are people just like the Afghanis. If they fell, we could just as well.

    One little correction, though. Paul does mention homosexuality in the New Testament (to condemn it, of course) in 1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:24-32 and 1 Timothy 1:8-11.

  • avatar


    This is a whole new level of stupidity, ignorance and delusion. This is something different. If they start doing violent things, than ….well we will have bloody crusaders again. Woudn’t be the first time when some retarded idiots will kill in the “name of God”. Even writing this makes me sick.

  • avatar


    Its always funny seeing the religious whack jobs come out of the woodwork on Halloween, lambasting the “holiday” as a satanic night that is so very un-christian that all those people are simply bad parents for letting their kids celebrate it.

    First off to those people, I like that all the kids out there get to share my birthday and receive presents just like I do. So a very big “frak you!” is in order here.

    Secondly, I remember reading when I was a kid one of the stories of how Halloween came to be:

    Apparently the ancient Druids and Demonic forces fought a major war for control of the Mortal Realm, both sides were evenly matched and they fought to a veritable standstill. Rather than destroy the world, both sides agreed to end the war with the only condition being the world had to set aside one day a year to celebrate the forces of the underworld.

    If we stopped doing so, the Demons would rise again in anger for our daring to ignore them and again try to reclaim this Realm.

    Now sure I’ll grant the christians that it those evil blasphemous Druids who brokered the deal, not their great sky daddy and his illegitimate multiple personality disordered offspring, but if they believe in that then surely they believe in all the other “woo” too; why else would they care about Halloween? Surely they must have thought of the consequences if they somehow manage to get Halloween disbanded! Why, all the Demons will try to claim the Mortal Realm and make this place hell on earth.

    Hmmm… Oh yeah, book of revelations… ’nuff said. 😉


    PS: Like I said, I remember reading this when I was a kid. I don’t know for sure though. Perhaps Jake and Ryan could start researching this now for the “Halloween: Myths, Fables, and other insane stuff people believe about it” show. Its not like they wouldn’t have an excuse to be unprepared, they’ve got over six months to work on it! 😉

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