Catholic Church doesn’t want people being married at sea

I don’t get these guys. You would think it doesn’t really matter where people get married; so long as it’s a Catholic wedding, the folks over at the Vatican should be happy, right?

Well, It looks like Jesus hates water, as the Church has issued their latest guideline for priests on cruise ships, and one of the stipulation is that they are not to perform wedding ceremonies on these open waters:

Among its provisions, the document stipulated that priests should not celebrate Catholic weddings on a cruise, but they should be available to offer blessings for newlyweds or couples celebrating wedding anniversaries.

I figure this move is more practical than ecclesiastical; with church attendance at an all time low, weddings are still a big money maker, and I have to think cruise ship weddings would cut into their revenue pretty seriously. So what better way to avoid this than by issuing an edict that, at face value, makes no fucking sense whatsoever. You have to LOVE the infallibility of the church sometimes!

Comments (6)

  • avatar


    Maybe it has something to do with all the shellfish under their feet?

    You know how g0d HATES shellfish, so might object to his vicar about having marriages over them.
    Makes as much sense as any other reason.

  • avatar


    Now that’s interesting. There is a typo in your title (Chruch instead of Church) and while looking if it was actually a word (I’m not an native english speaker), I notice that it was a very common misspelling and those guys did not spot it either:

  • avatar

    Mark H.

    What about their policy regarding priest fucking little boys while on a cruise ship. Oh yeah, that one falls under the “cover it up” guidelines.

  • avatar


    You’re right Mark H. And if somebody tells on them, they just move the priest to another cruise ship.

  • avatar


    Quote from god, he just spoke to me: “I did not create people in water, therefore you shouldnt get married on it, i dont like it because i get sea sick”

    Such a weak move with no means of rational explaination. Skeptical intelligence will undermine the ideas of religion and slowly religion will starve as people will see it for what it really is. Religion once served a purpose to explain away the unknown or unknowable, and in modern society it tries to maintain this purpose by imposition of its values; to attempt to limit discovery for that is what shall weaken its reason of being. Religion in now a blight which slows and stupefies the human culture from the appreciation of valid knowledge.

  • avatar


    Not that I agree, but does anybody think it might be to stop impulsive, vegas-style marriages? I would imagine that any priest would require a donation to the parish for his services, be they exercised in a church or on a ship, and that those details would be worked out prior to leaving port (for those who planned in advance)…

    Just throwing it out there, I don’t know if that’s how it works.

Leave a Comment

Scroll to top