30 years ago today, a young couple in Sherbrooke, Quebec gave birth to a baby with a giant head. That baby grew up thinking that all religions were essentially bullshit, and set out to record a totally kick ass podcast to let the world know how he felt. That little boy with a gigantic head was me, and to celebrate the awesomeness of being alive, I’m in Calgary with Carisa Hendrix, who organized a pretty kick ass party for me at the Soda.

I realize that a lot of you guys are located in different parts of the world, so if you still want to make my day, why not become a patron? If you’re already a member and feel super generous, then sponsor a friend, or you can just donate a buttload of money to me for no other reason that to say “Happy Birthday you big headed jackass!”

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I love condoms. They’ve been around since ancient times; Egyptians would make theirs out of ceramic (ribbed for her pleasure I hope), while in the 16th century Europeans made theirs out of sheep intestines. Although their primary use is contraceptive, these useful little devices are used for all kinds of purposes, from makeshift waterproof containers to improvised explosive devices. Apparently, having a rubber tube like structure is convenient for a number of reasons.

Almost everyone loves condoms, except for the Roman Catholic Church, who feels that every sexual encounter needs to result in pregnancy. Not only is this view insanely impractical and dangerous (how are we supposed to support a geometrically expanding population?), it put’s people’s lives at risk. By telling people condom use is forbidden, how many believers contract deadly diseases? How many women have unwanted pregnancies that put their own lives in jeopardy?

The reason the church hates condom use is almost entirely because of the story of Onan. It goes something like this: God tells Onan to impregnate his brother’s widow, but at the last minute he pulls out, spilling his “seed” on the ground (hey, sometimes you just slip out, you know?). God gets angry and strikes him dead. From this nonsense, the Church has decided that God disapproves of contraception. Yep, that’s pretty much the only reason (other than their “be fruitful and multiply passage they like so much).

In the Philippines, ignorant and annoying Catholic leaders are actively killing the government’s plan to encourage its citizens to practice safer sex to prevent the spread of HIV. They incorrectly and deviously proclaim that condoms are ineffective, saying that the only real way to prevent AIDS s abstinence and forcing fidelity in marriage. Yeah, those values are really realistic, aren’t they?

It’s just another example of how out of touch with reality these assholes are. They would gladly let people die of AIDS and other diseases if it meant following the insane edicts of sexually repressed clergymen. Do yourself a service people; don’t take advice on sex from guys that have never actually HAD it. These are the same fuck-faces that can’t seem to stop molesting little kids. Why is anyone listening to these guys again?

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Ever heard of an organization called “Youth for Christ”? It’s an evangelical youth group that seeks to convert people to Jesus, and like any evangelizing organization, it isn’t content to sit by and let people live their own lives. Recently, the city of Winnipeg, Manitoba voted to contribute 2.5 million dollars towards a faith-based recreation center. This hasn’t sat well with some of the locals who are upset that the city, which is broke, is giving money to a private religious organization that sets out to convert people.

The Mayor, Sam Katz, isn’t sure why everyone thinks it’s a big deal:

My understanding is the majority of our youth who attend those facilities are not Christian — anybody can go there.

Luckily, some people actually have their heads screwed on right; local MP Pat Martin has argued that their mandate to convert young people makes “Youth for Christ” ineligible for public monies. How would people react, he argues, if the money been given to a group called “Youth for Allah” instead? Not too well I assume.

These kinds of organizations always bill themselves as open to everyone, and for good reason; they are on a mission to convert fertile young minds to their insane doctrine. The fact that the city is actively helping them accomplish this goal is totally unacceptable, especially in light of the fact that other more worthy organizations have been denied funding. It’s quite obviously religious pandering, and Winnipeggers (I think that’s what they call themselves) should be outraged.

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I don’t like religion, but like most atheists I know, the thought of burning down churches is rather repugnant. There’s no need to create more religious martyrs by making it seem as though their beliefs are under attack. My preferred kind of “assault” is always verbal and intellectual, and I expect any other “Good Atheist” to follow suit.

Of course, there’s no way to know if every single non-believer out there is going to act with such decorum. Since atheism isn’t an organized set of beliefs or practices, there’s really nothing I necessarily share in common with an unbeliever other than the fact that we have both chosen to reject the notion of God. That’s it. Anything else we DO share in common is entirely the product of our own ethic and moral code. Some people possess noble and heroic codes; others are violent psychopathic arsonists. It happens.

A few weeks a go a number of churches in Texas were burned down by these two guys, Jason Robert Bourque, and Daniel George McAllister, two childhood friends and obvious weirdos. When the police searched their homes, they found rifles, knives, a book on “Demon Possession”, and (wait for it) a book on atheism (gasp)! The associated press jumped on that angle, despite the fact that there’s no reason to suspect that this book would have motivated them to commit their crime. If anything, the book “The Atheist’s Way” is actually one of the least critical in regards to religion, simply offering a way for people who don’t believe to orient their lives in a meaningful and loving way.

Eric Maisel elevates the tag ‘atheist’ from a mere denial of the supernatural to a calling: a calling to a high-hearted life of diligence, creativity, and ruthless honesty in maintaining one’s integrity in the face of uncaring nature.” — David Cortes, Secular Wholeness

Perhaps these two morons are atheists, or maybe they aren’t. We still don’t know what motivated them to commit their crime, which is why I find it so cowardly for the AP to make the assumption that atheism is somehow behind it. There’s nothing inherent to unbelief that would make one violent or psychotic, and any inference that it does ignores all the studies (and simple common sense) that demonstrates this.

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I guess American beauty queens are under the impression that the general public gives a shit about their inane opinions. When Miss California, Carrie Prejean, became a spokesperson for the religious right and their campaign against homosexual marriage, I thought her own stupidity and lack of insight alone would be enough to invalidate her worthless thoughts. No such luck; if anything, her bigoted views have made her a darling of conservatives (wasn’t Sarah Palin also a beauty queen?).

Hot on her racist trail is Lauren Ashley, who is representing Beverly Hills in the next Miss California pageant. Ashley seems to think Prejean didn’t go far enough in her views, and had this to say about homosexual men:

The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white.

For the most part, Leviticus deals with the methodology of animal sacrifice for the Lord. He’s very specific about how burnt offerings should be sacrificed, and he seems to have a huge obsession with fat (he also thinks that if you eat blood pudding, you’ll be cursed forever). It also forbids tattoos and astrology, but I be if we put anyone to the sword for reading their horoscopes of having some ink on their bodies, things would get a pretty damn bloody.

Hey, if this stupid idiot really wants to live according to the word of the lord, than perhaps she should take a look at 1st Timothy Chapter 2: verse 11-14:

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I don’t permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner

Wow, the bible is pretty black and white, isn’t it?

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It’s not uncommon for people to automatically assume that faith based organizations are inherently better than secular ones, since volunteers are usually motivated not only by their charity, but also by their piety. This is exactly what this women is trying to argue. Her proof? Well, she often donates clothing to both Goodwill and the Salvation Army, and the latter has a better drop-off. You have to love anecdotal evidence, don’t you?

Apart from this simple example, this obviously religious woman feels that the pious are instantly more moral and just than their secular counterparts, but is this really true? Consider the fact that the salvation Army has been under fire for discriminatory hiring practices due to their homophobia, or how in Australia, there was widespread sexual abuse among the youth they were sheltering from the 1940′s to the 1970′s.

That’s not to say the organization doesn’t do good work; I’m only trying to argue that the blanket assumption that religion makes everything better is not only wrong, it’s dangerous. We’re all human, and we all do some fucked up shit once in a while; to think that a sectarian institution are immune to this because of their religious devotion is simply wishful thinking, and it puts the blinders on when people act inappropriately.

(props to James for the find)

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Ok, well, maybe the whole country doesn’t suck, but your bus company, NZ Bus sure does. They’ve just rejected the Atheist Bus Campaign after they received complaints about the ads.

Is it surprising that not everyone would be pleased with the simple and direct message that “There’s Probably no God”? It’s not as though these buses haven’t also featured religious ads that were just as offensive to non-believers. The difference, of course, is that we aren’t afraid of their message, but they sure are scared shitless of ours. Do they detest the message of the ad, or are they afraid that it might actually shake a few people out of their delusional bubble? I wonder.

The organizers have been refused arbitration, and are thinking of appealing to the Human Rights Commission as a result. I think it’s blatant pandering to religious bigots who can’t stand anyone with a dissenting view.

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You know, in life, you have to appreciate the little things; a nice sunset, a good meal, and the subtle joys of disciplining your children with large plastic tubes. About 3 years ago, Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were punishing their adopted daughter for being silly, and because their religion puts heavy emphasis on using physical domination to make children more obedient to God, they decided that it was time to really teach her a lesson. They held her down for hours, and beat her with a plastic tube. She dies from internal injuries.

If you’re a parent and want a little glimpse into their fucked up belief system, visit the site of their religious guru, Michael Pearl, who states that the foolishness of children (you know, when they act silly and shit, like most kids do) needs to be beaten out of them so they can be more obedient to god. The site loves quoting the Bible as proof of their claim, and as you might guess, it’s some pretty scary stuff:

You must also condition their bodies to obedience by seizing many opportunities throughout the day to walk them through acts of obedience. As the military drills their soldiers, you must drill your children.

As a rule, do not use your hand. Hands are for loving and helping. If an adult swings his or her hand fast enough to cause pain to the surface of the skin, there is a danger of damaging bones and joints. The most painful nerves are just under the surface of the skin. A swift swat with a light, flexible instrument will sting without bruising or causing internal damage. Many people are using a section of ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument.

That’s exactly what 7 year old Lydia was beaten with, and so was her 11 year old brother for supposedly being a bad influence.

I hate this kind of sadistic shit. It reminds me of the Protestant edict that children “should be seen and not heard”, as though the laughter and exuberance of children is an annoyance rather than a blessing (I’m taking that word back). If you can’t let kids be kids, opting instead to beat the “silliness” out of them, you deserve the fucking beating.

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