Dictionary banned in elementary school

Hey parents, may I ask you something? Do you ever fear that the degree to which you wish to protect your children from any kind of harm makes you absolutely batshit insane sometimes? The rest of us childless folks have to wonder what kind of effect having offspring has on your brain, because your behavior can often be described as utterly mental. Take this story involving parents banning the 6th edition of the Merriam-Webster dictionary at Southern California elementary school because it has a definition for “oral sex”.

The disappointing thing here is it took just one parent to complain before the school board freaked out, and you just know it was the parents of the kid who just needed to know what oral sex was. So rather than have to deal honestly with the question, their response was to have the dictionary banned. Now I realize the idiotic things parents do is usually motivated by the love they have for their children, but it doesn’t absolve them from insanity. Can you all chill the fuck out and relax already? Anyone with kids who thinks banning a dictionary will somehow prevent them from learning about the world outside the boundaries they’ve delineated is both naive and stupid. Can you all stop banning or burning books you think will “warp” their minds? I assure you the only thing you achieve is looking both insane and out of touch with reality.

If you lie or trick your kids about stupid shit (like sex education), how will they ever believe you about stuff that really matters?

Comments (5)

  • avatar


    I really do miss the good old days. I can remember my elementary years where groups of boys would sneak away with the french dictionary that had full nude art in it. I think I liked it better when parents didn’t micro manage school policy.

  • avatar


    “…their response was to the the dictionary banned.”

    Did you mean: their response was to GET the dictionary banned?

  • avatar


    Yeah I vaguely remember going through that phase of school where you and all your mates would look up all the dirty words in the dictionary (quite vast where I’m from). Funny but I seem to remember the swear words being more amusing than the sex words. It was a passing amusement that lasted…gee…one day? The bubble-wrapping of children’s bodies and minds is contagious and this seems like sensorship gone mad.

  • avatar


    There is only one thing a xtian fears more then their brainwashed kid reading anything about SEX, and that is answering a question the kid may ask. And these are the sick, brainwashed adults that say no sex ed in school; it should be the (frighted, ignorant, schite for brains) xtian parents that should teach the needed (none) sex ed at home.

  • avatar

    The Living Boy

    Other words in the Dictionary: cretinous, loutish, apelike, cloddish, boorish, tyrannical, draconian, subjugation, enslave, yokel, rube, authoritarianism, peremptory, illiberal, imperious, overbearing, domineering, supercilious, impetuous, pompous, patronizing, condescending, …

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