Witch doctors make me sick

If you live in a poor country and have no skills whatsoever, you should consider becoming a witch doctor. Rather than contribute something to society, which takes time and effort, you’ll enjoy the benefits of making shit up and still get paid. It’s like being a priest without a weighty institution holding you down; you get to be your own boss, and you set your own rules (sweet, eh?).

Of course, if you’re predisposed towards empathy or hate the idea of misleading your fellow man for profit, this job might not be for you. It takes some brass cojones to pull some of this shit off; just look at the story of this couple, who were told by a local witch doctor that by sacrificing their 3 month old daughter, they would suddenly become very wealthy. If you’re unfortunate enough to have a conscience, you should probably consider another line of work.

If we can accept the fact we are all simply naked apes with underdeveloped brains, it’s easy to accept how fantastically stupid we are sometimes. Still, although people do some tremendously dumb things pretty damn often, it would probably not be so bad if we stopped listening to fuckfaces who are quite literally experts in nonsense.

Comments (2)

  • avatar


    Its amazing how people do stupid thing especially when they are desperate. I’m not talking about the witch er con artist, but about the parents. They are the ones who listened to the witch er con artist. It gives one pause. How well will you or I think rationally when we are put into a very bad situation? We like to think we would do better but the odds are against it.

  • avatar


    You know, while reading this post I was reminded of the fact that I sometimes wonder if I could start a church of my own. Why? Because people want to be told that there is a god who cares about them and they will pay insane amounts of money to be told what to think. They would never admit to being that way because,….well, that’s just pathetic but they do. How do we know that’s true? Witness how many churches thrive in our communities today.

    Unfortunately, I do have a conscious and could not bring myself to start something that I know is not true and encourages tribalism and irrational thinking. Now, that would be a real sin against humanity.

    Yes, I am an athiest but when I see people perfectly willing to insert themselves into the “Matrix” if you will, the temptation can be overwhelming.

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