Absolve yourself through prostitution!

I love whenever a new church appears that includes sex as one of their primary rituals. There was the awesome Madonna of Orgasm church, which rightly put the female climax in its place as sacred and holy (what can I say, everyone has that thing they “covet”), and now there’s a new one that goes even further, by helping men absolve themselves of sin by having sex with a high priestesses, and giving them money.

Now you might be confusing this ancient practice with prostitution, as is everyone else. Judge W. Matthew Byrne has allowed Wilbur Tracy and his wife, Mary Ellen Tracy a chance to demonstrate that theĀ Church of the Most High Goddess really does worship Isis “legitimately”.

It seems a little unfair that they have to prove they legitimately qualify as a religion; after all, if the Catholic Church had simply popped into existence yesterday, it’s doubtful anyone would take their insane claims very seriously (turning wine into blood, what’s that about?). It seems religions have an instant advantage if they can prove ancient gullible idiots believed in it too. At least with this church, you know the high priestesses had to think about whether or not they wanted the job, since you can’t even qualify unless you’ve slept with over 1,000 men.

Ok, so the truth is you could argue this couple is trying to use religion to basically sell sex, but how is that different from any other “spiritual” institution? All churches crave power and money, and yet no one is suspicious about their motivation. This hideous couple is just trying to make a living doing the only thing they seem capable of doing: fucking. I really don’t see anything wrong with that, and as long as Isis also encourages her followers to wear a goddamn rubber, they can go around trying to “absolve” as many dudes as they want as far as I’m concerned.

Comments (5)

  • avatar

    Isaac

    Me first! Me first!

  • avatar

    Zombie Jesus

    Better than the Catholic church where people put money in the collection plate for the priests to have sex with their children.

  • avatar

    joe botelho

    when will married dudes come up with a religon where we can get blowjobs from our wives?

  • avatar

    CybrgnX

    I still like to know if there are any of these churches in the NE.
    Here’s a religion I can get into ;-}.
    But I like Joe’s religion too!! But it wont work cuz the high priest would say that as g0d’s anointed he would get the BJ while we just watched…bummer.

  • avatar

    Joe Botelho

    dude that fucking hot,
    the church of the sacred Cuckold.

    Turn that bummer into a hummer

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