Stop staring at the sun, morons

In 1879, a housekeeper named Mary McLoughlin was walking past her church in Knock, Ireland when she suddenly saw an apparition. The images, like any bullshit visual trick our eyes play with us, took on a shape she was familiar with: the Virgin Mary (and would have probably looked like Vishnu had she been a Hindu, but I digress). A number of other people saw it, and because human beings blindly believe the testimony of eyewitnesses over more rational interpretations,  the Catholic Church decided that it was indeed a miracle, and since then the site has been a regular pilgrimage for believers hoping in some kind of desperate miracle.

Recently, a crazy fucker named Joe Coleman has claimed since having a near death experience in 1986, he’s been in regular contact with the Virgin Mary, and he’s told pilgrims coming to the site they would be able to catch a glance of her by staring directly at the sun. To be fair, the Bishop of Killaloe and the Archbishop of Tuam have both tried to warn Catholics not to attend the event, but it wasn’t enough to stop a bunch of people from getting serious eye injury.

The problem with even these religious leaders telling people not to stare at the sun is they seem to have as much authority as anyone else who claims to have divine visions. How can you mandate and control the imaginary (I suppose this is what religious institutions wrestle with all the time)? This is coupled with the problem the so called visions people are having are actually being caused by solar retinopathy, which is to say the slow damage to their retina is mistaken as a vision of the divine.

So far many people have been hospitalized, and it’s only bound to get worse, since Coleman is claiming there are more apparitions to come. While he should be put in a lunatic asylum, he’s instead free to tell other gullible idiots to stare directly at the sun for extended periods of time. Meanwhile, his more reasonable but equally deluded counterparts can’t even convince their own flock to stop listening to the rantings and ravings of a loony. Don’t you just love religion?

Comments (5)

  • avatar


    Ludicrous. I can only put this sort of moronic activity down to gross ignorance. I thought it was common knowledge that staring at the sun would do your eyes no good at all and the charmless idiot who seems to be advocating this in the name of religion should be locked up. As a matter of interest, do we know if he has tried this himself?

  • avatar


    I wish we could gather up all the religious nutbags and fundamentalists out there, send them to another planet for a little while, and let them go wild. I wonder how quickly they’d self-destruct without us rationalists trying to hold the fort down.

  • avatar


    The mosrt literal case of the blind being led by the dumb I’ve ever heard of.

  • avatar

    Zombie Jesus

    Solar retinopathy is a 100% legitimate way to see Jesus. I also know some people who did some LSD and actually SPOKE to Jesus. Also, Jesus loves visiting schizophrenics. You just have to know the right ways of getting in contact with the guy, and permanent eye damage is in line with his other preferred modes of communication.

  • avatar


    If you get blind, don’t worry, put some spit and mud together, gorge it into your non-functioning peepers and you’ll be dandy in no time!

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