Side Hugs: because regular hugging is too sinful
The abstinence movement is a fucking joke: the very premise that you can prevent kids from shagging each other by making them wear promise rings, taking pledges, or guilt tripping them has never worked, and it’s not likely to change so long as our bodies are hard wired for sex. Hey, if we didn’t want to bang one another so badly, there probably wouldn’t be many of us around. Just look at Pandas. You can’t even pay them to have sex, and they are fading faster than Lindsay Lohan’s looks.
The side hug is the latest attempt by moronic youth pastors to discourage kids from touching each other (they want to avoid genitals rubbing. What kind of hugs do they give?). Let’s get one thing clear; when you make something sinful, you’re instantly making it way hotter than it is. Did you ever notice kids are almost predisposed to doing the exact OPPOSITE of what you tell them?
I also love how these fucking clowns think rapping about side hugs instantly makes them the cool thing to do. I swear, sometimes I think they all secretly want their religions to fail. I don’t want to live in a world where people can’t hug face to face and give each other “blessing pats”.
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