Man convicted in botched home circumcision of infant son.

There is still a frighteningly large segment of the population that believes the Bible is a useful guide for every day living. Luckily, most of these misguided fools have never actually read the fucking Bible, so for the most part, we’re spared from the ill fate of anyone trying to live by the “Good Book”.

Once in a while, though, you run across a human being who hasn’t quite understood the concept of modern Germ Theory, and attempts to circumcise his 4 year old son on his kitchen floor with a razor blade. In case you want to know just how fantastically STUPID this particular human being is, consider the fact he had already tried it on himself and was admitted to the hospital when his foreskin turned black.

The father had been doing some research online for performing this kind of “surgery” (yes, sometimes the Internet really is shitty). His fundamentalist buddies encouraged him to use a product called Blood Stop, which sounds great until you realize they use this stuff on dogs. This douchebag (who can’t be identified for fear of embarrassing his children to death) couldn’t afford that medicine, so he bought the shit they give to horses instead.

The doctors eventually had to properly circumcise the child, because after a few days of the wound festering, they had to also remove a black, thick tarry substance from the boy’s penis. The dad has his wish, but in reaction the state took away his kids and put them in protective custody. So what does this guy do? He turns around and claims this is religious discrimination. He followed the logic of the Bible, and he wants this to be his constitutional right as a Canadian citizen.

You know what buddy? Fuck you. Seriously, you can’t almost kill your child with a botched attempt at circumcising him and then complain the government is unfair in protecting your other kids, too. You’re obviously not a smart man, and your religious mania places everyone around you at risk. No one stopped you when you fucked up your disaster of a circumcision. If you hate your own penis so much, so be it. The problem we have as a society isn’t how you practice your religion, it’s how you practice it on other people. When you forget about their welfare and place the desires of some invisible deity above those of your children, you’ve failed as a parent. It’s really that simple.

Comments (10)

  • avatar

    Caroline

    “you can’t almost kill your child with a botched attempt at circumcising it and then complain that the government is unfair in protecting your other kids too. You’re obviously not a smart man, and your religious mania places everyone around you at risk. No one stopped you when you fucked up your disaster of a circumcision. If you hate your own penis so much, so be it. The problem we have as a society isn’t how you practice your religion, it’s how you practice it on other people.”

    Well said, bro. Well said!

  • avatar

    Razzle

    I’m circumcised and i always wonder what it would feel like to not be, while i have sex or masturbate.

  • avatar

    Richard Fabian

    And the mother…? Just sat back and let this happen? Amazing.

  • avatar

    Jonathan

    People like this should stop using all of our oxygen and just eat the gun.

  • avatar

    Isaac

    Holy shit. You’d think he’d think twice about ti after it didn’t go so well on himself.

  • avatar

    Thiga

    Obviously after he fucked it up on himself, he decided the internet was the best place to go to be more informed before torturing his son. Considering it would have been done for free at any hospital by an actual doctor he could have saved the money he spent on the horse drugs to. Seriously, why cant these people just be killed?

  • avatar

    Jessica

    Cause Circumcision was so great when done right.
    What a retard.

  • avatar

    CybrgnX

    If I approached anyone and sliced away a piece of flesh it would be criminal assault with a deadly weapon.
    So obviously the judge or the jury are a bunch of incompetent boobs!!!
    Hopefully if I do anything crazy stupid I can get the same judge/jury.

  • avatar

    TheraminTrees

    Let the father do what he likes to his own stupid flesh — get all kinds of blood poisoning, who cares. But carrying out bodily mutilation on non-consenting children is a violation, plain and simple — and as this case clearly shows, downright dangerous in the hands of amateurs. I’ve spoken with people who were circumcised and don’t mind, who defend their parents’ actions — well, fine for them, but what about those who do mind, who feel irreversibly violated? What exactly do proponents of circumcision have to lose by waiting for their children to grow up and make their own choice?

  • avatar

    frickshun

    Jake–>ur the man & I’m sorry I don’t read your site more often!!

    This story makes me sick. If I had 1 wish (besides being able to control my orgasms) I would be come a masked vigilante to protect children from abuse. Yep, pretty much any abuse. I’m like Michael Jackson except I don’t know what the inside of a little boy feels like.

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