Bill Donahue is a busy man; so busy in fact that he doesn’t even have time to watch the shows he criticizes. Here’s a radio interview with Louis C.K. calling Bill on his bullshit. Bill tries to pass this off as some kind of joke, but clearly, his words aren’t meant to be funny at all:

The sacred and the profane are elements found in every society. In our society, the sexual and the scatological often constitute the profane, as in this show. Ironically, the sacred, which is Roman Catholicism, cannot be ignored, even by the depraved. But that is no excuse for this barbaric presentation.

Wow Bill, you are so fucking hilarious. Maybe they should do a TV show with you someday. If I was the producer, I know what I would call it: The Bill Donahue Obnoxious Liar Dickbag Hour. Nah, you’re right; an hour is way too long.

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Guess what? If you think that President Obama wasn’t born in America and isn’t really your president, than you have the honor of being part of a distinct group of individuals that is likely to never have left the US (or own a passport), to be less educated, to watch more TV, and to read fewer books than non-birthers. Basically, you are an idiot.

Hey, it’s not like we should be very surprised that people who identify themselves as birthers have a lower IQ than the average American; the entire movement is merely a thinly disguised form of racism. The President doesn’t look very white, and that’s got a lot of stupid people very upset.

I think it’s funny that the same survey that found this out also identified that roughly a third of all birthers interviewed didn’t actually vote during the last election. Why the fuck are they even complaining then?

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Here’s the deal; if you want to start your own little mosque and preach for the government to be replaced by a caliphate run by a man in prison for life, it’s generally a good idea not to draw attention to yourself by buying and selling stolen weapons, and it’s definitely a bad idea to go around telling people to help overthrow the government. Luqman Ameen Abdullah converted to Islam and began preaching anti-government rhetoric in a small apartment in Detroit, urging his members to equip themselves with firearms. The FBI freaked out, thinking that they had a home grown terrorist cell on their hands (not altogether an unwarranted fear), and so they raided the place.

Through a 45-page complaint filed in the case alleges Abdullah “calls his followers to an offensive jihad” and preaches that every Muslim should “have a weapon and should not be scared to use their weapon when needed,” charges in the case to not include terrorism or national security crimes.

The only person to actually resist arrest is Abdullah himself, who opened fire (killing one of the dogs) and was later shot dead. Now, members of the Muslim community are upset and shocked over the shooting, and claim that he was an upstanding member of the community.

Here’s the deal; I’m not entirely unsympathetic to people who distrust the government and feel the need to make strong political statements. I draw the line, however, when someone decides that extreme violence is the answer to their problems. There’s already enough fear and paranoia concerning terrorism; it’s not generally a good idea to fan the flames. It’s also a terrible idea to shoot at the FBI when they raid your place. You tend to get shot in the face when that happens.

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Are you tired of hearing about sleezy Christians trying to lure naive and gullible believers into their beds? Me neither. The latest story comes out of Huston, where Robert Louis Rousseau, an unlicensed 8th grade teacher had been using the Bible to pressure young women into sleeping with him. His “line” to convince them to sleep with him is almost too comical for words:

She [the victim] also told authorities that sexual intercourse between the started after she was told that it would “‘demonstrate her trust and strict adherence to the society by engaging in sexual intercourse with (Rosseau),’” It was also stated that the teacher would read from the Bible to the two girls to convince the girls that they should have sex with him.

Robby was clever enough to start a small “secret society”, recruiting impressionable young girls. It didn’t stay a secret for too long, especially after he tried recruiting a third girl in the organization. That’s when the lid was blown on his little operation. Now this fat jackass is facing charges of sexual assault on a child.

If you want your little girls to be safe from creepy predators, you should probably teach them to use their brains a little more. Remember, religion is all about submission and subservience; does that sound like a really useful thing to teach people?

(props to the examiner for the find)

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Imagine a philosophy that regards human life as worthless and cheap, where adherents are told to kill others who did not share their beliefs, and where huge segments of the population are kept ignorant and subservient. Well, you don’t need to use your imagination; this type of philosophy already exists, and it has a colorful name: Islam.

Pakistan was the scene of more violence today as a market in Peshawar was hit with a powerful bomb that killed at least 80 people and injured another 200. It’s one of the worst attacks in the country’s history, and you can guess what bastards were responsible for bombing a market filled with women and children: why it’s the Taliban, of course!

It must be pretty easy to murder innocent women and children when you have the powerful shield of faith. It must be why religion is such a useful tool to enslave the minds of poorly educated idiots; no one has to consider the consequences of their actions when they think God is on their side. Congratulations of murdering so many people for your precious invisible sky-deity; he must be so proud of you!

Also, please fuck off and die. Thanks.

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It’s a good day, people. This morning I was flooded with emails and links concerning a French court that found 6 members of the Church of Scientology guilt of fraud. Each members on trial was fined 400,000 euros and  sentenced to no less than two years in prison.

I’m actually pretty surprised they’re sending these guys to jail while still allowing the Church to continue its operation in the country with impunity. I guess they found insufficient evidence that this fraud was perpetuated by the church. These guys played by Scientology’s play book, so why did they not bring the whole scam down once and for all? It’s a shame really. Scientology is a pyramid scheme designed to extort people out of their money, all under the guise of “freeing” a person from  fear, doubt, and every other normal human emotion  people find unpleasant.

Unfortunately, I doubt this decision is going to do much to slow down the growth of this beast. The Church recently opened up a chapter in Rome, and it attracted well over 6,000 suckers people.

Hey everyone, if you are feeling depressed, unhappy, and generally unfulfilled, try to do something creative and fun rather than get suckered in by a bunch of money hungry fuckfaces. Go for a bike ride, talk to a friend you lost contact with, or better yet, take a drill and shove it deep inside your brain tissue if you even feel slightly compelled to go get audited. Trust me, you’re way better off as a vegetable.

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