How do I know God exists? He made me cry!

This is some Glenn Beck level of emo right there. Just because you cry like a bitch every time you think about God certainly doesn’t mean he exists (it probably just means you need a hug from a real person or something). Dude, have you considered the┬ápossibility all of this is shit is just a bunch of make-believe? I used to cry when Santa didn’t bring me that present I asked for; does the fact I shed so many tears prove Santa is real? Hardly.

You know, every time the Holy Spirit touches me, I start crying too. Why does he have to put his cold dead hands so far down my pants, anyways?

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