Mark Sanford thinks God is on his side

Remember this guy? He was caught red handed having an affair with a hot Argentine woman he called his “soul mate”, but the weight of the scandal hasn’t deterred him from leaving his post. Presumably, the man doesn’t know how to do anything other than misuse public funds and break his vows of matrimony. It does sound like he’s tailor made for politics, doesn’t it?

Since no one wants to back him up, he’s decided to turn to his only friend: God. After battling Obama’s stimulus plan (which would have been spent primarily on education in his state), he says he wants to stay and fight for “conservative values”, whatever the hell that means. He’s also delusional enough to think that the reason his approval ratings are so low is because of the need to defend himself rather than the fact that taxpayers are frankly tired of Representatives misusing public funds to go fuck their mistresses in Buenos Aires. But I digress.

Mark, no one is on your side, especially not your invisible friend. Have you considered the fact that perhaps it’s time to seek new employment? Maybe it’s time to go and enjoy life with your Latin lover. At the very least, stop hanging around Congress like some half dead zombie no one wants to touch with a ten foot pole. If you still want a career in politics, try laying low for a few years. Maybe then we’ll forget that you’re just a liar who can’t read the writing on the wall. Ok, probably not, but I’m sure you’d make an excellent car salesman or something.

Comments (2)

  • avatar


    This still isn’t as messed up as that whole John Ensign c-street/the family sex/religion/politics mess. Actually as far as political sex scandles go these days it’s pretty mundane. No large payoffs, no prostitutes (gay or otherwise), no drugs and some embarassingly sappy e-mails.

    That being said he defintely should step down being the hypocritical ass he is.

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