You so naughty, girl!

You know that stereotype that all conservative chicks are really just secret perverts who turn to religion as a doomed way of getting their perversion under control? Well, here’s another story proving that there seems to be a bit of truth to the idea. Kristin Maguire is a religious conservative with an alter ego who writes and publishes pornographic stories online. She was also the chair of the SC state board of education until it was discovered she was also one naughty little girl. Here is some of her work:

Erik’s eyes slid closed on another groan. I could feel his dick swelling up as my swallowing and his hip pumping synched. My mouth watered in anticipation of being filled with his cum. His balls drew up and I knew he was close. I increased the tempo of my swallowing, driving him to his climax. I wanted to finish Erik before Joren finished himself.

That’s the tamest paragraph I could find, and as you can probably tell, this story is about a happy little threesome. You can check out the rest of it here (you better hurry; she’s trying to destroy all evidence of her writing), and as you’ve guessed, it’s obviously not safe for work. It reads right out of a cheesy porn flick, but I actually LIKE porn, so why would I complain? I just feel sorry for Kristin, who seems to have a lot of sexual imagination; something that’s probably creating a lot of internal conflict with her religion.

Hey, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing filth. Personally I love this kind of stuff. Still, I always laugh whenever a conservative gets caught doing something they publicly deride. Hey, we’re all human here, and we all love porn. It’s just a shame so many people have to pretend they don’t so they can feel morally superior to others.

Embrace your hedonism Kristin, and keep writing your naughty stories! Just stop telling everyone evolution is wrong, and students should be taught abstinence instead of sex ed. Remember: not everyone is as sexually repressed as you!

(props to the Progressive Puppy for the find)

Comments (9)

  • avatar


    That’s hot.

  • avatar


    Its true, conservative girls that are super religious are very perverted and shallow. I know a girl that gets all preachy about the bible but gets all wet when anyone mentions the jonas brothers.

  • avatar

    Benjamin Geiger

    Meh. It has a very “Ikea porn” feel to it. (“Insert tab A into slot B…”)

  • avatar


    I wonder if there’s any Jesus or Mohammad slash porn? Or even Jesus AND mohammad slash porn…

  • avatar


    Back in March SciAm (I think) had a study that showed online porn was bought most in states with highest church attendance. Go figure…

  • avatar


    “I increased the tempo of my swallowing” Eh?? What is she, Vulcan? “Ambient temperature is 22°C. I increased the tempo of my swallowing.” Writing fail.

    Since she’s given up her day job, I think maybe she ought to take a writing class. Also she’d be a lot happier if she ditched the conservative religious facade.

  • avatar

    Jacob Fortin

    ^ Ben, it is a little formulaic, but what porn isn’t? I support all endeavors to explore human sexuality, lol.

  • avatar


    That is hot. She’s pretty sexy, if she wants to deepthroat me, I’m all for it! Maybe she can wear some kind of cute outfit while she’s at it.

    Poor girl. But at least she has had SOME form of release.

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