10 reasons why Superman is better than Jesus

This article
made me want to include a little list of why Superman is better than Jesus. I’ve made a comparative list so I can definitively prove the last son of Krypton is superior to the King of Kings in almost every way.

  1. Superman has saved the planet for destruction numerous times. Jesus has threatened to return and bring on the end of the earth with him, but so far is a fucking ‘no-show’.
  2. Jesus performed a few miracles, but Superman can shoot laser beams out of his eyes, he can fly, is indestructible, and can see through everything except lead. In one movie he turned back time. How awesome is that?
  3. Jesus may have died for your sins, but Superman died to protect us from an intergalactic killing machine called Doomsday.
  4. When Jesus died, he was resurrected 3 days later and then abruptly left, telling his disciples he’d be back within their lifetimes (an obvious lie). Superman died, was in stasis for a while, and emerged with long glorious 90’s hair. Unlike Jesus, however, Superman stuck around and has been busy keeping the world safe from evil.
  5. Although not a God, Superman still risks his life all the time trying to combat super villains. Jesus, on the other hand, is apparently all powerful, and yet refuses to do something as basic as healing amputees.
  6. Superman can move mountains. Jesus claims praying to him will accomplish the same feat, but no noticeable effects from prayer have ever been measured.
  7. Superman is an expert in dozens of languages, and is an accomplished journalist. Jesus never left any writings, or evidence of any of his works.
  8. Superman hooked up with the insanely hot Lois Lane, while the only women who showed any interest in Jesus were prostitutes.
  9. Jesus said “But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me” (Luke 19:27). Superman, on the other hand, has a strict code of conduct that forbids him to kill anyone.
  10. If you fell out of your apartment window and cried for help, Superman would try and save you. Not only will Jesus not even bother to save you; he will send you to hell for all eternity if you don’t believe in him.

Now some people may criticize me for this article, and they might be right: what’s the point in debating which fictional character is better, anyways?

Comments (211)

  • avatar


    Jesus performs miracles all by the Grace of God, not for His Glory. Superheroes have a good motive though, to save people. But the story ends within a time frame. Jesus, saved the souls of those who are lost and soon will come again and will be joining those who have been strong in the faith. People of the old testament had a hard time saving themselves so God offered His son, Jesus to save us from our sins. All we have to do is to accept. I didn’t intend to offend anyone’s belief but I hope this somehow enlightened you by the Grace of God, I don’t speak for myself but for the Lord’s name.

  • avatar


    I have read through all of the posts made on this page and I do say that there are a lot of idiots out there. The kind who would endlessly argue whom the better of two fictional characters are.
    Are you seriously believing that believing in such hocus as Jesus will reward you in a so-called afterlife and answer your daily prayers OR taking comic book heroes so seriously and ignoring the fact that both are mere stories created to keep good and evil human decisions separated.

    Take ownership of your own BS lives and post something worth reading for once.

  • avatar


    So who cares. Jesus gives everlasting life to those who belive in him AFTER we die, so wow lol thts fuckin great. What use will tht have. And also Jesus was beaten up and crucified and after all tht he tells us tht story trying to make us feel bad for him cuz he supposedly died for our sins. I’d rather believe in superman and have him as my imaginary friend than tht fuckin Jesus fairytale character

  • avatar


    The religious zealots who claim that Jesus is real need to read a book other than that propaganda piece and brainwash manual called the bible. There is not one well recognized historian, anthropologist, or archeologist who will claim that there is any evidence that a man named Jesus did any of the miracles those power-hungry promulgators of pissdirt in the churches say he did. There is a growing consensus in the research community that jesus was not even a real mortal. Jesus was a work of plagiarism: heracles, krishna, horus, all came before jesus and had almost the exact same story. The originators of that greatest scam ever perputrated (i.e. Christianity) latched on to certain appealing elements of such semi-divine figures in other cultures, re-packaged them, and managed to convince millions of desparate imbeciles of that White-skinned, blue-eyed middle-eastern jewish man died so that mean-as-hell omnipotent father would stop punishing all of us for what our distant ancestors did. Sorry to be so blunt, but Jesus, as Christians think of the figure, is about as real as the gumdrop people of lollipop land.

  • avatar


    Anyone who cites archaeological evidence for Jesus being an immortal super being has obviously never sat in an archaeology lecture. Further to that citing that any of Jesus’ recorded life came from accounts of other people at the time reduces the impact of any evidence that he even existed. One commenter noted that accounts of Jesus from 55AD were solid proof of his “divinity” and that accounts from several other people also bolstered the strength of the omnipotent deity’s existence… If several of my Friends and I got together and claimed that a man walked the Earth 50 years ago, before any of us were born and was able to turn his own crap to gold and could do the moonwalk in a vacuum while beat boxing and actually transmitting sound that people heard the world over, no one would believe us because it would be a) preposterous and b) impossible to prove. Extra ordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence. If Jesus was a divine being then surely he could pop down every generation to give us a little reminded rather than leaving it for a few thousand years… pretty sure people will start to question it at some point along the way…

    As for that, the number of people on here who have taken the article as anything more than satire is too damn high. Honestly, if you are so insecure about your religious convictions that someone having a joke at the expense of 1 fictional character and another pseudofictional character that you have to lash out, you may want to rethink your position in life.

    Personally I think Aquaman is the true saviour and anyone attacking the ocean will burn forever, but that’s me

  • avatar


    We aren’t lashing out or feeling offence. It’s just sad that some people can be so closed minded.
    I hope you find the truth before too long. And if you went to a library you would find the bible in non fiction and dc comics in fiction. Can’t argue with the library

  • avatar

    Lee Kong Hian

    Jesus Christ was a real person who claimed to be God incarnate and could perform miracles to back up His claim. He could heal, drive out demons, feed thousands of people, walk on water, walk through walls (or teleport anywhere) and, of course fly like Superman, back to His Father.

    Superman was a fictional character, invented by the Jews, based more or less on Jesus’ story.

  • avatar


    Jesucristo es real!!! y superman es un personaje ficticio creado por unos simples humanos, en comparación a Dios este es el verdadero creador, cualquier persona puede crear personajes Cartoon!! no se deje engañar con el demonio, este lo inspira a creer en personajes ficticios en ves de lo real, como el señor Jesucristo salvador de todos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • avatar

    wedding venue

    Wow that was odd. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked
    submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not
    writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say superb blog!

  • avatar

    frederick ordonez

    Jesus can make dead people come back to life…

  • avatar


    There is a time for everything! A time to defend your faith and time to let the Lord defend himself. A time for fools and a time for the wise!
    Lack of information is an excuse, it is an ignorance. Why would you waste your precious time aguing with a fool?

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