I’m in the wrong business

The Good Atheist survives because of donations, but unlike my religious counterparts, I have to rely on reason and logic to convince people to shell out a few dollars. José Luis de Jesús doesn’t have this limitation. He’s convinced millions of people he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, and every year, his church makes roughly 1.4 million in donations. People give him large cash sums, cars and even homes to the man they think is the second coming.

In terms of a racket, it’s a pretty sweet one. José doesn’t need to do more than simply quote the Bible, say a few charming speeches, and the droves eat it up. He doesn’t need to worry about such trivial details as truth or integrity; he has money to spend, and people to convert.

José targets proud Hispanics, as he claims the children born in his congregation are a ‘super race’. It’s kind of the Latino version of the Aryan race. He also claims to simultaneously be Jesus and the Antichrist, and has managed to convince people these two things are not mutually exclusive, so his bullshit technique must indeed be strong. His followers even tattoo 666 in their arms in solidarity.

Here I was trying to spread reason and common sense, and barely scraping by. Seems like the money is in nonsense, so starting today, The Good Atheist will be changed to ‘The Good Jesus’, and will be taking donations from suckers patrons interested in the New, New Gospel (which includes a special provision to allow all hookers into heaven).

If you’re interested in reading about more Jesus wannabes, here’s a list of other guys who have made similar claims. The most interesting is Hong Xiuquan, who called himself the ‘Little Brother’ of Jesus, and led a rebellion killing over 24 million people. And who could forget Charles Manson? Yep, people who call themselves Jesus are usually pretty messed up.

Comments (3)

  • avatar


    This guy was good in Religulous.

  • avatar


    As much as these types disgust me they are nothing more then con men. And like all con men I have a certain level of appriciation(?) of their skills. I’ve seen many cons worked and none is better then the gOd-thing. What saddens me the most is all these cons would be out of business without the mindless sheep. Just like this guy pope Is-a-dick doesn’t upset me as much as the silly, ignorant sheep that believe him about condums or anything else. The thought of all those unthinking sheep just saddens me deeply.

  • avatar


    I read about this guy a couple years ago, I was really confused with the whole 666 thing. It’s ridiculous that he managed to convince a large portion of people that he is both jesus, and the antichrist. Are people really getting dumber? or are they just drones like you said that need an idol to worship.
    I am really dumbstruck, its seems like his followers don’t give a shit, just like scientologists and mormans who had a very corrupt leader that were gouging its followers, and yet they still sweep the corruption under the rug. And its not like these guys are really smart, (they arent), L Ron Hubbard failed at most of the shit he did, and I am sure the Jose dude is the same.
    It boggles my mind!

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