Finally, a religion you can get behind

Or on top; anything that gets you off really. That’s because the Madonna of Orgasm Church is a step closer to becoming officially recognized as a religion in Sweden.

This particular church actually worships the orgasm, which they consider to be God himself. Although I’ve heard his name being called out on occasion (I’m patting myself on the back as we speak), I never actually thought anyone would take that literally.

There are a few prudes who don’t like the idea of anyone worshiping orgasms, but this is one particular religion I have ZERO problems with. While most Christians consider the orgasm to somehow be sinful, these guys are gung-ho about it.

Before you pack your bags and move to Sweden, it’s my duty to remind you the group does not actually perform sex acts during their ceremonies. They try to use orgasms as a metaphor for their lives, and their ceremony involves tame shit like gorging themselves with fruit and juice. Of course, all the priests are female, and the only gospel they preach is the gospel of sex. So, who can’t get behind that?

Spread the outrage

Comments (16)

  • avatar

    reverend clint

    i could definitely get all up in that religion

  • avatar

    Zack

    OH GOD!!! OH GOD, YES!!!

  • avatar

    Jason

    You can’t possibly be serious that most Christians consider the orgasm to be sinful. Do you have any conscience whatsoever, or do you just spout off bullshit assumptions as facts elsewhere on your site?

  • avatar

    Archer

    Oh, I’ll definitely be “getting behind” this one. I want to be a deacon, and wear a funny hat.

    @Jason…get real. Extramarital sex is verboten for xtians for a reason…that reason is that xtianity doesn’t want anyone getting pleasure from ANYTHING other than bending their knees in worship to an invisible fairy. It’s also a sin to enjoy spicy food, dancing and well…pretty much anything else. Although you can mitigate those sins by making large financial contributions to god…he always needs money to do his good work…such as making sure gays can’t legally enjoy orgasms in marriage…and providing payoff bundles to children molested by their ministers.

  • avatar

    Julius

    Well, the Catholic Church certainly does — unless you’re making a baby.

  • avatar

    Justin

    Jason, sex before marriage? masturbation? homosexuality? All are not cool in the “good book”.

    So yes, you personally might not be against the orgasm, but your book is. You personally might not be against eating lobster/shrimp, but your book is.

  • avatar

    Bornagain A Theist

    Jason, in the name of all that is orgasmic, have you ever heard the term “target audience”? You were not a part of that audience if you don’t understand the metaphorically accurate comment concerning Christianity and orgasms. More likely that you are a born again troll, I would think.

  • avatar

    Daniel

    Hey Jason, I come from a conservative catholic background, and when I was 10 years old my PRIEST and my MOM and my DAD told me, specifically, that reaching orgasm on my own was a DEADLY sin, and I had to repent. I know that there are some religious people out there (i know lots) that have a healthier attitude towards sex, but there is also a LOT of religious people out there that are batshit insane… So don’t tell me what is said in this site is just a bunch of “bullshit assumptions”.

  • avatar

    Charles Miller

    “You can’t possibly be serious that most Christians consider the orgasm to be sinful.”

    Few churches will stand up and say it, but it’s pretty obvious from looking at Christian doctrine that this is indeed the case.

    Take Catholicism. Representing over half of the Christian denomination worldwide, it’s as good a definition of “most Christians” as any you might come up with.

    Standard Catholic doctrine is that masturbation is a sin, as is sex out of a permanent monogamous, Church-sanctioned relationshi. But even within marriage, contraception is a sin. The obvious conclusion to draw from this is that orgasms are sinful, but the Church will excuse you that sin so long as the orgasm is being had in the course of producing more Catholics.

    Other churches may not be quite as hard-core in their doctrine, but they share the same moral base. Religion is one of those sexually-transmitted diseases where children are most at risk of infection, so churches do the best they can to control the sexual activities of their flock, and direct them towards continuing the line of their sect.

  • avatar

    Rick

    Jason- read your bible and the koran. The hostility to sex and women is clear. Christian hostility to gay and lesbian sex is evident in the success of Prop 8 in California. The real problem here is your dishonesty.

    The Swedish women are merely mocking and satirizing religion; and celebrating the orgasm. What’s wrong with that- I had one last night, it was great. My partner had many more. I’ll celebrate that.

  • avatar

    hindu atheist

    I’m glad some of the churches are catching up to some of the writings in Kamasutra from India. :)

  • avatar

    website design

    why not? let them enjoy themselfs.

  • avatar

    David

    Where do I sign?

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