Actors who play the title role of God have the sweetest roles. First, they always seem wise, paternal, all-knowing, and even a little smug. Secondly, they have the soft, epic choir singing qietly in the background. And finally, just when you think this God character is a real bastard, his infinite wisdom is proven, and the audience leaves home satisfied with the performance. And really, who could resist the one line every actor practices in the mirror each night: “Who am I? Well, I’m God of course!”

I’m not in the business of providing film reviews, but considering the nature of my site, I couldn’t help but throw, if temporarily, my hat in the ring in the case of “Evan Almighty”, the sequel to Jim Carrey’s biggest box office hit ever. Jim’s always been smart about second tier movies that hang on the strength of their name sake predecessors by always steering clear of them. Although he isn’t the comedian he used to be, I have to give him credit for avoiding this lemon.
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You look long and hard, squint your eyes to the point of straining them, and finally, as your eyeballs cry “mercy”, the giant blotch starts looking like an angel. No, this isn’t a Rorschach inkblot test, although in retrospect, it might as well be. Instead, this is a couple in Georgetown, Illinois that claim to have cut down a tree with an angel face in it.

Sherri and Jerry Conklin, whose home was threatened by an old oak tree, cut down the soft maple to avoid further property damage. When they were finished, they discovered that one of the wood grains displayed the image of an angel. Their local newspaper, suffering from a lack of any pertinent news, thought it would be a good idea to feature a credulous couple who believe that the image of the cherub appeared only after the tree had been cut down.

Now, I don’t want to be a buzzkill, but when I looked at the image, I thought I recognized one of the helmets from the Lord of the Rings movie (the fancy elven ones). Of course, Mrs. Conklin and I share have one thing in common; we are both individuals with active imaginations that see patterns in a seemingly innocuous blotch of stained wood; in fact, most normal human beings do. It’s called pareidolia, which is a physiological phenomenon whereby a vague visual stimulus triggers the brain to interpret a particular pattern or recognizable image.

This would all be fairly jovial and innocent if we could all laugh a little, and remember that the significance of such a find is no more impressive than looking up at the sky and seeing a cloud that looks like a teddy bear. The faithful droves, however, regard these kinds of finds as proof positive that their particular deity exists, and rationality, free inquiry, and objectivity fly out the window. It is in these instances that we should remind ourselves that there is always a powerful need to rationalize our beliefs, no matter how illogical they might be. By claiming to see angelic messages in tree trunks, grilled cheese sandwiches, and plate glass windows, we assign a pattern to nature that does not exists, and further our own ignorance. We should instead come to realize that it isn’t the outside world that’s trying to send us a message, but the internal one. Speaking of which, maybe I’ll pop in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy…

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As a writer, the appeal of discussing atheism stems largely from the fact that although its definition may be simple, the philosophies that surround it are not. There are so many different responses to atheism that some have begun to call it a religion. But is this true? Is atheism a religion, and if not, does it emulate many of the elements of it? As I will show in this article, the answer to that question not only makes us curious about the future implications of the growing trend of atheism, it also demands our attention about what could potentially be the next major movement in Western society.

What is a Religion?

To answer that question, we must examine the long history of religion to reveal its purpose, which will in turn reveal its structure. Although no definite number exists as to the age of religion, anthropologists are convinced that crude animistic sects were a hallmark of life for our ancient ancestors as far back as the emergence of Homo sapiens (there is even evidence that our evolutionary cousins, Neanderthals, had their own form of religion as well). Our ancestors were not stupid; they possessed the same raw mental power we do, but they were ignorant of the natural laws that governed their environment. They faced the often brutal torment of nature, and life was certainly never easy. When confronted with the overwhelming power of nature, our ancestors turned to creative myths to explain why such things as droughts, famine, storms, and death occurred. As they were passed down orally from generation to generation, the stories became ever more complex, and these complexities led to elaborate cosmogonies, and of man’s place in the Universe.
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I remember Archie comics fondly as a kid. Although the storylines were always predictable and innocuous, I had a deep appreciation for such familiarity. Looking back, however, I couldn’t help but notice that the quaint vision of life in America was a product of the pining for the “simpler” times, when teenagers worried about who they would take to the big dance, and drug, violence and sex was never an issue. This picture, of course, is simply a fantasy. Still, it was a wholesome alternative to the sometimes overly violent and complicated works of other comic books, like Spiderman or X-Men.

What I never realized however, was that in the 1970’s and 80’s, the characters were featured in a number of Fundamentalist Christian books under the publication of Spire Christian Comics. The strict doctrine of Christianity was encouraged, with the troop involved in issues surrounding evolution, drug addiction, and even a little anti-establishmentarianism (they didn’t like hippies too much it would seem).
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New Age Meets Conspicuous Consumption
You might not be aware of this, but there are apparently only three things you need to do to make your life better and more prosperous; first ask the Universe, then align yourself to it, and finally, reap the rewards of your materialistic fantasizing. If this sounds familiar, that’s because it’s not unlike what you did as a child, waiting for Santa Claus to bring you your presents.

If you’re wondering what I am talking about, than allow me to explain; in late 2006, a DVD entitled “The Secret” was released and got worldwide attention, with celebrities such as Oprah advertising its benefits. Eventually a book was written (which seems oddly backwards in the world of self-help). Both sold themselves on the premise that everything that a person wants and desires is the result of what one “projects” with their thoughts. Although this may seem like a harmless fantasy, the philosophies it endorses nevertheless encourages people’s greed, materialism, and selfishness, all under the banner of “self-help”.

The video starts of seemingly harmless enough; the producer explaining that she was caught in a vicious cycle of in desperation at the loss of a family member and at being severely overworked. Then, by some miracle, she was told of a wonderful and powerful secret, one that had been known about for thousands of years, but was apparently suppressed. What is this wonderful secret? That the power of wishful thinking can give a person everything they dream.
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Just when you were hoping that Intelligent Design had gone the way of the Dodo bird, a small town school board always seems to become marred in the controversy. This time, it’s the Chesterfield County School District in Virginia, which, in its school memoranda, has decided that it wants students to “…expand their knowledge through research, to debate the concepts as presented, and to develop their creative and independent thinking skills”. In other words, they want to teach the “science” of Intelligent Design alongside Evolution.

Despite the decisive rulings against the teaching of “scientific creationism”, it seems the ID camp has not given up on trying to make everyone believe that their fantasy is tantamount to a scientific revolution. In fairness to the staff at Chesterfield, they may not be aware of just how thoroughly debunked and debased the theory has been ever since December 2005, when the Dover, Pennsylvania School Board lost its attempt to sell Intelligent Design as a secular alternative to Evolution.

The Dover Ruling

In October of 2004, in Dover Pennsylvania, the school board decided to include a disclaimer in its biology textbooks, saying that evolution was a “theory” and not fact, and that alternative explanations for the origins of life existed, primarily in a book entitled “Of Pandas and People”. A group of parents, angry at this development, decided to initiate a lawsuit, which resulted in a lengthy but decisive trial which would definitively answer whether or not ID should be allowed in public schools.
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So, the Creation Museum, still so new to the world, is already getting embroiled in a sex scandal.. An actor who appeared as Adam in a video the museum uses to help tell their story of how the universe was created also has or had a little risqué website on the side. The site shows some rather graphic photos and promotes a “free love”attitude. The horror.This, of course, has gotten the officials at the Museum all hot and bothered, and not in a way I’m sure their wives will appreciate. They’ve announced an investigation and have noted that on their website that the actor’s actions do not match the morals or values they wish communicate with the museum. They’ve also taken down the video.

Certainly, the museum has every right to be a little shocked at the behaviour of the actor. They have the right to openly criticize the man and the website he appears on. What doesn’t make sense is why they took down the video. Mr. Linden didn’t promote or make mention of the site in it. Indeed, he was a professional actor who played the role he was offered. The actor freely admits that while he isn’t Adam off-screen, that has nothing to do with how he performs in the video itself.
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I always thought that any man who wears a pink T-shirt must undoubtedly be a little crazy. This beliefs was confirmed as I read a story concerning a 24 year old man, dressed in the flashy color, who attempted to lunge at the popemobile. He managed to hang on for several seconds before being wrestled to the ground. Police say the man was mentally disturbed, and rather than trying to hurt Pope Benedict XVI, he merely wanted to draw attention to himself.

Well, duh! He was wearing a pink T-shirt of god’s sake; what other proof do you need? Equally surprising about this story was the fact that the man was able to get so close to the Pope, especially considering the fact that security has tightened significantly since the attack of 9/11. Usually, the Pope travels in a vehicle with bullet proof glass, a measure that was taken after the attempted assassination of John Paul II in 1981. I suppose Vatican officials don’t have enough confidence in the divine to expect God to provide his own form of security to his earthly avatar. Their message: have faith, but for God’s sake, not too much!

On another comedic note, before his death, Pope John Paul II had asked the media not to refer to his vehicle as the “popemobile”, which he felt was a rather derogatory term. Apparently, riding around in a see-through glass dome, looking not unlike a life-size snow glob, is cool, but its nomenclature isn’t. God and Popes are decidedly forbidden to possess a sense of humor…

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As the plot thickens after the arrests of 4 men suspected of trying to blow up fuel tanks at JFK airport, a number of experts have come forward explaining that their terrorist plot would not have had the desired effect they were looking for: the complete destruction of JFK Airport. At best, these men could have set off a dangerous blaze, though nothing that would have endangered the lives of JFK’s daily commuters.

If you’re new to the story, here’s the recap: four Trinidadian Muslims, of some advanced age, had begun doing surveillance work on the airport allegedly in an attempt to make the giant fuel tanks, as well as the pipeline, ignite and explode. Although this may certainly sound both impressive and frightening, according to most experts, producing anything more than a fire would have been next to impossible.

I can’t say I’m entirely surprised, considering the fact that many of the suspected terrorists had lived for quite a few decades in America. How else could they possibly think that a simple fire or a small explosion could create the necessary chain reaction to destroy an entire airport? It’s conceivable that the plot had been devised while watching Die Hard 2, or some equally far-fetched action movie (although in this instance, they would probably have rooted for the bad guys). One has to wonder out of the many different violent fantasies they undoubtedly had just why they picked that one. Presumably, they wanted to create a big show.

This act is yet another example of the murderous impulse of faith; it is no coincidence that these men were counting on the righteous hand of God to punish those they considered to be infidels. So willing were they to accept this fantasy that they felt the arrival of a 5th member (in actuality an informant) was an act of God. It never occurred to them that their actions were wrong, evil, and disgusting. To them, there was no greater show of piety than the destruction of innocent human lives.

I’m glad none of these men took the time to actually read a physics book, or even just watch a few documentaries instead of the show 24. Religious fundamentalist are incapable of duplicating the refined works of science; instead, their violent sectarian minds can only use these tools as a blunt instrument of destruction. In this case, they engineered a terrorist plot out of the contrived writings of B-movie scripts. It then only seems fitting that the “good guys” stopped them in time; one good cliché always deserves another.

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